Deciduous Thoughts

Welcome to 2011 Friends

2011-01-02T23:49:00.005-05:00

National Blog Posting Month (i.e., NaBloPoMo) has a theme for January regarding "Friends." Friends have played an important role in my life over the years. Admittedly, I do not make new friends easily. Generally, people don't become more than acquaintances until there is some shared experience. My closest friends remain my closest friends from high school and college. I shared many experiences with the friends I hold from those times. I even count some from those periods as "friends" having not really spent much time since the respective graduations.

To make friends now requires something different. At this stage in life, I have to choose to be friends with someone. That is, I have to want to invest in their lives and want to give them access to my life on some deeper level. Making friends requires energy. I don't generate energy by being with others. That tends to sap my energy. Thus, I tend to limit those situations that require energy expenditure. What's the point if I can't truly engage?

I've discovered that as I age -- and I am definitely aging -- my circumstances or my life does not provide me with as many situations that make "friend-making" easy. If I want to develop a new friendship, I have to make a positive step in that direction. Generally, I find that step to be a positive one, but I tend to be cautious in extending my friendship web because I know that I have somewhat limited energy resources. And why bother if I'm not going to really invest in the relationship?

I don't share this for anyone to believe that I think they should think it special if I count them my friend. I know that I am lucky to have the friends that I have. I hope not to ruin any potential new friendships that I am developing. I've just noticed that developing friendships is far harder than it was when life forced me into proximity with others that I wanted/needed as friends.

Here's to deepening relationships in 2011. Here's to you developing real friendships in the coming months. (I plan to share what I believe to be the earmarks of a "real friendship" in future posts.)

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 30 -- The Finish Line

2010-11-30T23:11:00.003-05:00

Today ends another year of National Blog Posting Month. For me, these have been the only posts of 2010 -- not just November. As is the case every year that I've done this, I've enjoyed the exercise. It's not easy writing something every day. And as you can attest, it's even harder to write something well every day.

Thanks, I'll be here all week! Try the veal. And tip your waitress.

While I've been writing these relatively short posts for the last 30 days, there's been another segment of society that participated in National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo). I've wondered if I could come up with that many words each day to end up with the 50,000 requirement -- much less 50,000 words that result in a coherent story.

But I'm intrigued. I think I may have that many words in me, but I'm not sure yet what story to tell. I have 11 months to mull it over.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 29 -- Waiting

2010-11-29T23:26:00.002-05:00

Our church is celebrating the advent season this month. With that comes a four-part series each week. Yesterday's message centered around Waiting for God. (Not the British comedy series.)

There were several points that struck me in this first message. But one stuck out more than the others.

That point is one that shouldn't really shock me or you. Waiting for God can be frustrating. I don't think anyone's ever yelled out "WELL, DUH!!" in church, but it felt really appropriate yesterday, and I was tempted to be the first one.

The key the that fact though is it's impetus. The waiting is frustrating because we want control. Let's face it. We're control freaks. I know I am. If you don't think I am, ask Jen. (Ask our Scotland leadership team! They'll tell you. Ha!) It's not a revelation that I like to be in control, and that's why I get frustrated or even discouraged while we're waiting for the Lord to show us the next step in this journey.

I like to control the means and the ends. That's where the frustration comes in. Because I know what I need. What we need. I live this life. I must know. I know what I can do. What I'm trained for. What jives with my personality. So, of course, I know best.

Wrong.

I only know what I can see. And some of what I can "see" for me and for us is distorted by my fears. Looking through the lens of fear is debilitating. The lens of fear is myopic. Fear says there is only one way forward. Fear says don't try that because you don't know how it's going to turn out. Fear says you can't do that. Fear lies.

What I want to cling to as we wait is that I can trust the Lord to have our best interests at heart, and that He knows what is best for us and that what is best for us may not be what we think is best for us.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 28 -- RIP Leslie Nielsen

2010-11-28T22:42:00.004-05:00

Growing up in the '70s, there are certain comedy classics that are a part of my DNA. That is, quotes from a handful of iconic comedies are indelibly fixed in my head. One of those quotes is "... and don't call me Shirley" whenever I hear someone say something like "Surely, that isn't how it happened" or "Surely, you can't be serious," I can't help but think:

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

That quote is one of many legendary lines uttered by Leslie Nielsen in the movie Airplane! -- one of those classic comedies from my childhood.

Nielsen died today.

And it's not that I admired the man or thought he stood for some cause that I support. It's just that his comedic roles made me laugh, and they remind me of my childhood. As I age, more and more people that "I grew up with" have taken their last breaths. It makes me pause.

The thing about Nielsen that I've always found humorous is the straight, deadpan way he delivered his hilarious lines. I like Stephen Colbert (his politics aside) for the same reason. Colbert owes a debt to Nielsen. Zach Galifianakis does too.

Many know Nielsen for his role as Frank Drebin in the Naked Gun series of movies. But that character was first in a short-lived TV series in the early '80s called Police Squad!

Here's a clip from one of those episodes. RIP Mr. Nielsen.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 27 -- Crazy Day

2010-11-27T23:05:00.003-05:00

We got a call this morning out of the blue. A real estate agent that Jen met a few weeks ago called because he had a couple that was interested in buying a home in our part of the city. He asked if he could bring them by. As many know, when you're selling your home, you have to be on alert in case you get such a call from an agent. That also requires that you keep your home in a perpetually clean state.

We were not selling our home. So we were not on alert. And our house was far from clean.

So we spent about 4 hours cleaning the house. Ugh.

Actually, Jen spent 4 hours cleaning the house, and I spent 4 hours cleaning my office and the bathroom in my office. She'd been on me to clean my office for months. The 4 hours made a nice dent, but it still wasn't really "clean." It was better. Presentable. But it wasn't completely clean. But it's a nice start.

We'll see what comes of the visit. The realtor said he'd call us tomorrow.

Should something come of this, I think it will be another turning point in this journey of our. A friend asked me tonight where we'd go if we sold the house. I have no idea. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we have to.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 26 -- Long Day

2010-11-26T23:14:00.005-05:00

Today was a weird one. It started last night. After a long Thanksgiving Day filled with a gluttonous amount of food and drink, we came home a little after 8:00 pm. I probably should've gone to bed then. Instead, I fell asleep downstairs for a couple of hours. Then, of course, I couldn't fall asleep. I watched most of the movie Radio. I'd never seen it. Decent flick.

Eventually, I went to bed in the wee hours of the night/morning.

K-Man was up a little after 7:00 this morning. Jen leaned over and asked if I "wanted" to get up with him. As opposed to what? Sleeping for a few more hours? Sure, I'd love to get up. I knew Jen wasn't feeling well, so I didn't mind getting up to give her some more hours of shut-eye.

Kee did a great job "playing quietly" downstairs so he didn't wake up Mommy. And Jen managed to get several more hours of sleep, but she struggled most of the day with the crud. Similar to the crud I had the other day, but maybe a little more flu-like. We'll see.

Jen stayed up for a few hours before taking some more Nyquil. The Nyquil required a nap. Keegan always "gets" whatever Jen has, so when she said she needed to nap because she wasn't feeling well, Kee said he needed to rest too because he had a cold too. Kee laid down, but only lasted about an hour. Jen was out for over three.

When Keegan woke up, we planned a trip to the Thrashers game tonight, but I told him not to tell Mommy -- because she was still sleeping, and I didn't want him to wake her up.

Just as we were about to leave for the game, Jen woke up and came downstairs. The first words out of K-Man's mouth were: "We're going to the Thrashers game."

And after two beats, he added "but I'm not supposed to tell."

Priceless.

We headed downtown for a little pre-game Chick-Fil-A at CNN Center before the game. Here's Kee working on his last chicken nugget:

We lasted the usual two (of three) periods because Keegan was ready to leave. We had a little incident in the restroom, so I had to introduce Kee to the freedom of "going commando." He adjusted well. Better than I thought he would. He can be rather particular about his clothes. I think the fact that he was wearing his fleece-lined jeans made the transition a little easier.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 25 -- Giving Thanks

2010-11-25T23:41:00.003-05:00

It's been a good day. We celebrated the day at my parents' house with a truckload of family! K-Man loved running around all day playing with "the cousins." He and his cousin, Jonathan, ran around playing with their nerf guns until they were sweaty messes. He should sleep incredibly soundly tonight!

When you have a blog, you are almost obligated to write a post today about the things for which you are thankful. Far be it from me to ignore that responsibility. I am thankful for much. Much more than I will capture here today, but this is a good representation.

My wife -- who has walked beside me for a long time encouraging me along the way and occasionally kicking me in the behind when I need it.

My son -- who reminds me regularly to see the joy in life. To laugh. To be silly.

My family -- that has supported and shaped me.

My in-laws -- who raised one heckuva daughter and who are incredible grandparents to K-Man.

My friends -- (too many to name individually) who have picked me up when I'm down and with whom I have made some great memories over the last four decades!

My church -- that challenges me to grow deeper in my relationship with the Lord and seek opportunities to live a life reflective of that relationship

I'm also thankful for a lot of "lesser" things too:

Tivo -- stopping live television to use the lavatory is epic

Mike and Ikes -- fruity, chewy morsels ... if only you were sugar-free!

Plungers -- no details necessary. Just thankful.

Smyrna Soccer Club -- really enjoyed getting Keegan involved in that this year. Great organization for the community of kids in the area.

Facebook -- when used for good, it really can be a great way to keep up and reconnect with friends and family scattered across the globe.

24-hour gyms -- it's great to have the freedom to go to the gym at 2:00 a.m. if I can't sleep! (Wouldn't have to go so often if those dastardly Mike and Ikes weren't so delicious!)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 24 -- Thanksgiving Preparations

2010-11-24T22:49:00.005-05:00

I'm working on my oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies tonight. The first batch is in the oven as I start this post. So far so good. Here's what they look like in the bowl:

Here's what they look like cooling on the cookie rack. (Yes, I have a cookie rack for cooling my cookies. Shut up.)

Based on the required precautionary taste test, I think this batch will be well-accepted tomorrow at my parents' house.

Jen is a fan of oatmeal raisin cookies, but she hasn't asked me, until tonight, to set aside a portion of the cookie mix to add some raisins to. Done. We'll see how they turn out.

I enjoy Thanksgiving a lot. The football games. The food and drink. The time shared with family and friends. I'll probably have a list of things for which I am thankful tomorrow.

It would be funny (or odd) if Thanksgiving came with a tradition like this one: Slapsgiving!

And Slapsgiving II - The Revenge

Happy Thanksgiving!!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 23 -- Turning Points

2010-11-23T22:30:00.003-05:00

Life is full of turning points. Some we enjoy. Some we don't.

Some might say that the best turning points are those that lead to productive or positive changes and require the least blood, sweat and tears.

I'm not sure that I fall in that camp.

For me, it takes the adversity for the lessons that come at the turning points to make the appropriate impression on me. I can be thick like that.

Jen and I have been praying for something the last few years and that intensified over the last few weeks. The time spent over that time has been great for us, because it's put a number of things in perspective. Some we took for granted. Some we just needed to do better.

Today, we learned about another turn in this journey. Not so much a turn as another closed door. We've encountered a number of closed doors over this stretch. As noted above, I can be thick, so I kept looking for similar doors to open. So far, all of them have been closed.

Several months ago, Jen and I sensed that we needed to try a completely different door. I've been resistant for a number of reasons that don't need to be fleshed out here. At least not yet. But after today's news, I can no longer deny the need to stop focusing on the doors I've been focusing on and need to consider others. Doors close over and over for a reason. I'm starting to see that now.

I took a step in the new direction today with a simple email. No response yet, but sending the email itself was another turning point.

And we are trusting that the faithful and obedient step of sending a simple email may be enough to overcome the inertia that exists and open the next door for us.

Stay tuned.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 22 -- I can't be trusted at the store

2010-11-22T23:26:00.005-05:00

It's Thanksgiving week. That means at some point I have to make my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to bring to dinner on Thursday. My family might disown me if I failed to bring them.

But to make them, I have to go to the store to buy the ingredients. And I can't be trusted at the store. Just ask Jen.

I'll explain.

So I made the list, which included some generic groceries that we just needed around the house. For example, I bought some Lysol spray to disinfect the kitchen garbage can. (Actually it was a store-brand generic that "compares to Lysol.") But my cookie recipe doesn't call for Lysol. Or generic Lysol-substitute.

At the store. I bought the essential cookie ingredients: sugar, brown sugar, butter, chocolate chips, oatmeal, and egg beaters (I'm 40 now, so I got to balance out all the good stuff with some egg substitute).

But true to form, I bought some other stuff -- none of which are in my cookie recipe.

Mike & Ikes -- because I just like those.

Reese's Pieces -- because they were right there next to the Mike & Ikes.

Wine -- they say red wine goes really well with chocolate, so that's kind of a pairing rather than something that is completely off the mark.

A tiny light bulb -- that's actually a safety issue. I needed to replace the bulb for one of the tail- lights on my car, so I should get a pass for that one.

Black tea -- because I'm still fighting some crud in my throat and the tea helps with all the coughing I'm doing.

Two bags of marshmallows and rice krispies -- those were for Jen to make rice krispie treats for K-Man.

Before I went to the store, I stopped by Sam's Club. One of the staple, non-cookie items that we needed was bread. Well, rather than buy the bread at the grocery store, I picked some up at Sam's Club. There, I can get two loaves of bread for a better deal. So I went there to get the bread.

I also walked out with a shirt. (Another item that is not germane to oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.)

See, I can't be trusted.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 21 -- UF's Rudy ... sort of

2010-11-21T23:34:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was the last regular season home game for the Florida Gators. So it was senior day. All of the fourth- and fifth-year seniors were honored before the game started with a short ceremony as they ran out of the tunnel. This happened at a number of schools this weekend and more will happen next weekend as well. It's another one of those things that makes college football better than NFL football.

Many of you have seen the movie Rudy -- the story of the walk-on and undersized defensive tackle who sold his soul to dress for one football game at Notre Dame. The movie exaggerates the story, but he did actually get in the game and did record of sack. It's a great scene -- even if you hate anything Notre Dame.

During yesterday's win over Appalachian State, a four-year walk-on defensive tackle -- not particularly undersized -- but not the most gifted athletically -- lived his own scene from Rudy. Gary Beemer is a senior at UF. He's been a glorified tackling dummy for four years on the football team. But he gives 100% and has become a favorite of UF coach Urban Meyer. That must be the case or what happened yesterday would never have happened.

With UF winning by a healthy margin, Meyer approached Beemer on the sidelines and asked if he'd be interested in running the ball in a goal-line situation if UF was able to get the ball down that close. Stunned, Beemer told the coach that he was ready and willing.

Then late in the fourth quarter, the Gators did actually get the ball close -- inside the 10 yard line. And Beemer was told to run out to the huddle for the first down play. Here's what happened:

If that doesn't give you chills, you may be reading this from six feet under.

You can hear the fans cheering for Beemer as he runs out, and they yell louder when he actually gets the ball on first down. You can see his teammates -- many of them starters -- screaming for him and waving towels. That's a kid who's left an impression on his team.

But when he doesn't score on first down, Meyer doesn't abandon him. He calls the play for him a second time. He gets stopped short of the end zone again. But he gets a third shot, and he buries himself into the line and emerges on the other side of the end line clutching the ball all the way back to the sidelines.

But he's not just clutching a football. He's holding tightly to four years of blood, sweat and tears. And pain. And laughs. And shared meals. And a memory that will never leave the front of his mind. Oh, that more of us had opportunities to make moments we would hold so dearly.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 20 -- I miss the movie theater

2010-11-20T22:49:00.003-05:00

I am a card-carrying member of the trailer-loving society. Not homes on wheels. Those two-minute movie previews that precede the feature presentation at the movie theater.

The problem is, I don't get to the movies anymore unless we're going to see the latest Pixar movie with K-Man. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing movies with him, but it would be nice to see a movie without dodging strollers and puddles of who knows what. And my love of trailers is left wanting at those movies because they only show trailers for more animated and talking animal movies.

When I was in high school, we used to see just about every movie that came out. We saw some stinkers too -- probably because the trailers always captured the best elements of the movie, and we weren't that picky. (I didn't go to high school in Greenwich Village.)

Today, I get my trailer fix online. Apple and Yahoo both have trailer sites that I visit periodically.

My love of going to the movies goes way back. I can recall being 3 or 4 and going to the Drive-In with my parents. I was supposed to be sleeping in the back seat, but I wasn't. I probably should have been because I can still see the climactic shooting scene of Walking Tall starring Joe Don Baker in my mind.

But who can afford to go to the movies these days? It's not just the price of tickets. With a kid, there's the sitter to pay for. Hard to justify spending all of that money for 2-3 hours to watch a movie when I know the same ones will be available on satellite in a few months for fractions of the cost.

So I'll stick with my online trailers and satellite movies. But I still miss the movie theater.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 19 -- Thoughts from coffee with a friend

2010-11-19T23:22:00.003-05:00

It's hard to watch people we love live through the consequences of their actions. Sometimes it's a one-time action and sometimes it's a chronic dysfunction that showers their lives with unwanted results. Even when we have no real role in their predicament, the outcome can affect us in a variety of ways. Maybe if we'd been more involved, we could've saved them the pain of this. Now that they're in this situation, it's going to require more of our time or resources to help them. It's their problem, but it impacts us as well. Can't get away from it. We're connected.

I was having coffee with a friend the other day. He had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about, so we'd scheduled some time to meet. He wanted to talk about a loved one of his who is dealing with some consequences at the moment. My friend was dealing with a myriad of emotions about the situation. There was a little guilt. There was some helplessness because he wasn't in a position where his assistance was welcome -- and part of him really wanted to help.

As we were talking, I tried to reassure him that he had nothing to feel guilty about. The choices made by his loved one were their choices. So the consequences were the loved one's to own. The helplessness that he felt was understandable, but again, it wasn't his situation to correct or unwind or put back in the bottle.

In some ways he had to come to grips with the fact that there was going to be pain for his loved one. They may not be aware of the full scope of that at the moment, but they likely will down the road. He wanted his loved one to realize the full impact of his actions now -- not in a "you get what you deserve way" but more to deal with it now and get started on healing from the situation. But again, he was helpless to make his loved one understand that. I tried to encourage him that even if his loved one didn't get it now and suffered some lingering pain from the circumstances, the Lord can redeem that when they do come to terms with the full scope of what happened. I hope it was encouraging. I hope it eased his mind.

I try to have the same approach with Keegan. He's going to make mistakes that have consequences. He has to learn that cause and effect. For now, those effects are relatively minor. At some point, he'll be facing something bigger, and I'll be struggling with wanting to protect him from the larger, maybe more painful, consequences. I'd do anything for that kid, but there may come a time -- there probably will come a time -- when the best thing I can do for him is to do nothing except love him and walk beside him through the mire of whatever he's gotten himself into. That may sound detached or cold in a way, but for me, it's more a statement of faith that I can trust the Lord to watch over him and see him through whatever he faces.

And maybe in letting him deal with the consequences of his actions without intervening to "save" him from himself, he'll come to understand that there is nothing that he cannot overcome and that we'll be there for him no matter what.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 18 -- New template

2010-11-18T23:15:00.003-05:00

You may have noticed the new template for the blog. It just felt like it was time for a new look. (No, I'm not going to re-introduce the mullet. Not yet anyway.) I settled on this particular background because it reminds me of my times and my friends in Scotland. (I know it looks like the English coast, but it was the closest I could find.) Can you smell the sea air and feel the cool breeze?

Let me know what you think of the new look.

I started this blog over three years ago. K-Man was 2. That seems like so long ago now. I was perusing those early posts a little bit today. Some great shots of Kee and funny stories. (OK, enough with the sappiness.)

In some ways, the new template is an expectant metaphor for life. We go about our lives day upon day. Sometimes life steers us in a new direction. Sometimes we choose a new direction. Either way, we can make the choice to make the most of the new direction by embracing it. In the end, we're different -- hopefully for the better. It feels like we're in the midst of one of those times of change, and the new look is a way of embracing that. Stick around to see how things turn out.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 17 -- Team Party & K-Man's Awesome Prayer

2010-11-17T23:29:00.004-05:00

Tonight we had Keegan's end-of-the-year soccer party. Team United had a good season. A team mostly of first-time players had their ups and downs (and by that, I mean that it was good the under-6 league doesn't keep score, because some of our kids probably can't count high enough to keep track of the goals scored on us). But as the year went on, we saw improvement from the boys and girls on the team (of course, even in the last game, there were still occasions where I had to remind the kids to kick the ball in the other direction because we don't want to help the other team score more goals on us).

It was a great outlet for Kee's endless energy levels. I cannot wait until he figures out how athletic and fast he is. For now, he spends more time watching his shadow run alongside him. Which -- I tell myself -- is just fine. His day will come.

The party was at Stevi B's Pizza Buffet. But most of the kids couldn't wait until we unleashed them on the game room. Love of skeeball knows no age apparently. If there are pink tickets to be collected and turned in for cheap plastic toys made in China that will get lost under a bed, thrown out by a parent, and cried over when their absence is stumbled upon, kids under 6 will go berserk for them! At least they did tonight.

Such a situation is perfect for a K-Man meltdown too. And tonight did not disappoint. Because once the tokens for skeeball run out, Kee begins the negotiation for more "moneys" for more tokens. That usually amounts to another dollar (have you seen the kid's eyes staring up at you asking for more "moneys?" You'd cave too! Don't judge me.) But once those tokens run out, Kee begins round 2 of negotiations, but this is where I walk away from the table. He becomes insistent. I remind him that I told him the last dollar was the "last dollar." He then cries. Which has no impact on me. Once the waterworks start, the kid's cuteness loses its effect on me.

When we left the restaurant, we let Keegan know about our disappointment in his behavior. He made "bad choices." ("Bad choices" is parent-speak for "you screwed up kid" but you can't really say that to a kid, because he'll repeat it to a teacher or someone in authority and then yesterday's post about possibly fostering kids becomes a moot point.)

When we got home, after a quick bath, it was time for K-Man to hit the hay. We said our prayers, and I asked Keegan to ask God to forgive him for making bad choices tonight. And these were the first words out of his mouth: "Hey Jesus ...."

If I'd had a mouthful of water, the kid would've needed a towel to dry off from the spit-take.

"Hey Jesus, please forgive me for making bad choices."

"Hey Jesus, thank you for bringing that kid into our lives!"

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 16 -- Day in the life

2010-11-16T23:27:00.003-05:00

I cannot think of anything to write about today. Does that mean I've had a boring day? Live a boring life? Hardly.

The day started with a good time of prayer and worship. Really needed it. Our pastor challenged us on Sunday to make prayer a part of our daily life. That wasn't really the impetus for today's time, but I'm going to make it count for that if he asks me.

I changed the bulbs on my brake lights today. One of them had been out for months. The second one went out recently as well. A nice couple stopped us at a light the other day to tell us. It took me an hour. No lie. I am not mechanically gifted. It took me 10 minutes just to find an allen wrench that would work. I tore up my hands in the process as well. But those who follow me now will know when I'm slamming on my brakes. Lucky them.

I had lunch with a friend. Actually, he bought me lunch in exchange for a little advice on how to respond to a claim for unemployment benefits. Yes, I trade in kind. Legal advice in exchange for a nice burger and fries.

Tonight, we had a family dinner at our church. These quarterly get-togethers are always a nice time. A pot luck, church-wide time to share a meal, meet some others we may not know that well, and get the latest information about all that the church is doing and planning for the immediate and/or long-term future. I noticed tonight as we were waiting in line the large number of kids under 7 in the crowd. That cohort seems to have exploded over the last year. I think that bodes well for the future of the church. It also will require more generational investment on the part of everyone.

So it looks like my day wasn't that boring. I'm not sure what it's like for you to read about it. But thanks for indulging me. It's better than a generic list, isn't it? I hope so.

See you tomorrow.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 15 -- Thoughts from a recent meeting

2010-11-15T22:27:00.003-05:00

We went to a meeting at our church on Sunday afternoon. Some friends of ours have taken the steps to be approved as foster parents and are doing so through a private agency called Faithbridge Foster Care. Faithbridge works with the state and county agencies who have the placement needs. When their foster families are not available, they call private agencies, like Faithbridge, to see if they can fill the gap with one of their Faithbridge families. Faithbridge's model centers around establishing relationships with churches. The goal is not only to find willing families in the churches but also for the members of those churches to help serve as support for their member families who decide to foster.

Faithbridge has the statistics, but if the Church stepped up, there would be no need for the state agencies who place foster children because there would be none without a family to take them in. The meeting that we attended was an introductory meeting into what it means to be a foster family or a respite care family and how Faithbridge operates. It was also a time for people to ask questions and hopefully, for the Faithbridge representative to dispel some myths about fostering.

When we jumped into the world of adoption, we went to a similar meeting where we heard an adoption consultant dispel many of the movie-of-the-week myths about the adoption process. That was a good exercise for us. (And the reality for us has been nothing like those myths that continue to circulate about adoption.)

But I digress.

I have two psychology degrees, so in meetings like this, I cannot stop myself from monitoring the comments of others (and a little commentary in my head about what is being said or asked). This meeting was no different.

The first question that got me thinking was "how can Faithbridge do this with the whole separation of church and state?" My first thought was that there's a need that has to be met, and if there is another group that will help with some of the heavy lifting, the county is not going to mind that a faith-based group is helping out. Second, the state isn't as interested as many think it is in the spiritual lives of the rest of us. Third, this is the Bible belt. There is a lot more openness to faith-based initiatives here than in other parts of the country, I am sure. But I would still think that similar agencies in whatever other "liberal" state would accept the help of a group like Faithbridge even there. Finally, if someone thinks that fostering through Faithbridge is a way to force religion on a child, then perhaps, they are missing the point of serving as a foster parent (and I am not saying that I think the questioner is of that mindset, but I can see something similar running through the minds of those who want to "rescue" these children from their situations.)

The other question that sticks out for me was asked in the context of bringing in a foster child who was older than your own child or children -- a teenager perhaps. The questions was "how do you know that there won't be any sexual issues that your own children will be exposed to?" My immediate thought was "you can't." Thankfully, that was the ultimate response from the Faithbridge rep as well. It reminded me of our adoption situation. We couldn't really "know" anything about the background of Kee's birth parents. The limited info we have is based on self-report for the most part. We trust that what we know is true. But we cannot know. We made the conscious decision -- even before we launched into the adoption process -- to trust that the Lord would walk alongside us regardless of how things turned out with Kee. We reiterated that statement of faith after K-Man was ours.

I think we would have to walk into a foster family situation the same way. We would certainly try to determine as much as we could about the child's background, but we would have to remain vigilant and pray that the Lord would protect our family and heal whatever scars and pain exist for the child we brought into our home.

We haven't decided how or if fostering is a part of our future. But we wanted to know more about the process if for no other reason than to help our friends who are working with Faithbridge. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us though.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 14 -- Video Sunday

2010-11-14T23:46:00.004-05:00

Today has been a long, but restful day. We went to a meeting this afternoon that made me pause. I have a few thoughts rolling around in my noggin, but they're not fully formulated, so I won't bore you with them just yet. Everything has its time.

Today, I am going to pass along a few videos of interest to me. The first one reminds me of an old girlfriend. I married her, but this video reminds me of one of our dates while still in college. We went with a few other couples to a haunted house. Jen is not a fan of haunted houses or being scared or even being tickled. Recently, the talk show host, Ellen Degeneres, asked one of her writers to visit a haunted house for her Halloween episode. The woman hates being scared, but when sent into a haunted house, it's comedy gold!

We love the show "Friday Night Lights." The show originally was on NBC, but the last 2 seasons have originally aired on DirecTV. The current season is the last one of the series. This is the latest promotional video for the show. We love the drumline in this tune.

The drumline of that video reminds me of a drumline I saw this past summer in Glasgow. These guys were awesome!!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 13 -- Season Review

2010-11-13T22:24:00.003-05:00

I know the season isn't over, but for all intents and purposes, it is. I watched tonight as my Gators had a chance to redeem this season with a win over South Carolina and UF's former coach, Steve Spurrier. The game was at home in the Swamp, but it didn't matter. Tonight was a microcosm of the season, and tonight ended with a loss.

In no particular order, here are my thoughts about the season (well, I guess there is an "order" because the thoughts are numbered):

1) Urban Meyer made a mistake by not revamping the offense for the skill set of John Brantley. In 2005, when Meyer came to UF, he attempted to run his Utah offense with Chris Leak, a traditional drop-back passer. It didn't work. During the bye week before the game against Georgia, Meyer and his offensive coordinator, Dan Mullen (now the head coach at Mississippi State), retooled the offense to take advantage of Leak's skills. And the remainder of that season was saved, and it paved the way for the national title the following season. I expected Meyer to follow that template with Brantley this season. For whatever reason, he did not. The team has suffered because of it. Perhaps Meyer's health issues last off-season affected his memory.

2) The play-calling for the last two years has been questionable at best. After winning the national title game again at the end of the 2008 season, Dan Mullen was hired away by Mississippi State. Meyer had two options in selecting a new offensive coordinator: Steve Addazio, the offensive line coach with a couple decades of coaching experience, or Billy Gonzales, the younger wide receivers coach. Meyer went with Addazio. And Gonzales was not a happy camper. He stayed for last season, but he took a job with LSU at the end of the year. Last season, Addazio had Tim Tebow to bail him out of a lot of bad calls, but the offense did not run as smoothly as the year before when Mullen was calling plays and Addazio was just coaching the offensive line. This year, without Tebow, the offense has looked anemic. Meyer and UF are in a tough spot with Addazio, because he stepped in to run the program when Meyer resigned and then returned but took considerable time off last spring. He was a great O-line coach, so I don't necessarily want to lose him, but he needs to yield the play-calling responsibilities.

3) Meyer and co. need to decide what kind of team this is going to be ... and what kind of program he is going to run. It's OK if this is going to be a spread program. That means UF will never get a pro-style drop-back QB prospect, but so what?!?! If that type of QB can't run your offense, why recruit them at all? It's worse to recruit a pro-style QB and say that you can adjust to his talents, when in fact, you don't really want to. The Chris Leak situation tells me that Meyer can adjust his offense to the talents of his QB, but this season with Brantley tells me that he doesn't really want to. Fine. Tom Osborne ran his running offense through the '90s for multiple national titles because that was his offense. He still got players who could run it and run it successfully. Meyer just needs to own that the spread, read-option offense is what he prefers.

4) This three-headed QB system can't work long-term (or against teams not named "Vanderbilt"). Because Meyer won't commit to one offensive approach, he has now gone to 3 QBs -- none of whom can get enough reps in practice to do more than one thing. That means that defenses know exactly how to play against each of them. Brantley gets blitzed snap after snap because they know he's the passer. Trey Burton gets 8 in the box because they know he's not going to throw. Jordan Reed can throw the ball, but he doesn't get enough reps to run more than a minor portion of the playbook to be effective yet. This goes back to #3 above, but Meyer has to commit to one way of doing things and pick the best guy to run that offense and give him the most reps.

5) The offensive line has struggled throughout the year, and I think it's directly related to Addazio's offensive play-calling responsibilities. There is a reason for position coaches. There is a reason that some guys are great position coaches and not good coordinators. I think Addazio is one of those guys. He could be a good head coach, but he's not a coordinator. And those responsibilities are making him a poor position coach this year as well.

6) Meyer's top priority in the off-season needs to be to find Addazio a new job somewhere else. The program probably owes Addazio at least that given his willingness to step in for Meyer when he was away from the team. Once he handles that, he can then find a new play-caller. I would not be opposed to Meyer bringing Gonzales back if that relationship can be patched.

7) There is a considerable amount of youth on the team this season. But after the 10th game, I would expect to see more maturity and/or development.

8) Hopefully, this down year follows Meyer's pattern at UF. Each down year has been followed by a solid and/or championship year. I wouldn't mind that pattern repeating itself.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 12 -- Some Just Don't Get It

2010-11-12T23:30:00.007-05:00

So I was watching an interview of Jon Stewart today. Rachel Maddow was talking to him about his recent March to Restore Sanity with Stephen Colbert. They discussed a number of topics, including Stewart's belief that what he does on the Daily Show is different from what Maddow does on MSNBC. Maddow wasn't in complete agreement about that.

The interview was refreshing in some ways because it was a discussion and not a "who can yell loudest" school yard tantrum.

Over the course of the interview, Stewart attempted -- several times -- to explain to Maddow how what she does is different from what Stewart does AND that what MSNBC does is not that different from what Fox News does -- just from the other side of the argument. Again, Maddow didn't agree with Stewart.

Stewart probed further. Although he was the interviewee, Stewart asked Maddow if she and her network viewed a difference between liberals who interrupt events to declare that Bush was a war criminal and the Tea Party supporters who interrupted town hall meetings on health care reform to make their points. Stewart believed that MSNBC was willing to give the liberals a pass for the displays but railed against the Tea Partiers. And by implication, MSNBC was as one-sided as Fox News can be on the other side.

Maddow seemed almost offended that Stewart would suggest such a thing.

Maddow is of the belief that the Tea Party folks were only yelling at those town hall meetings because of a select few puppeteers who were trying to advance their economic interests. In effect, Maddow said the Tea Partiers were different because they were part of an organized assault on Obama's health care proposal. And the Code Pink group was a self-initiated collection of change agents.

Maddow misses the point. Even if those who support the Tea Party movement, or identify themselves with the Tea Party movement, have been organized in a way by a smaller group with their own agenda, the fact that these people are upset enough to yell over speakers at a town hall meeting should alert Maddow and others that maybe they have a point worth discussing -- or at least listening to. Stewart was willing to acknowledge the possibility that "Tea Party" didn't equal "clueless nut job" and perhaps that it was simply the group that best fit those who want smaller government. Maddow wasn't willing to go along.

Some people just don't get it.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 11 -- Veterans Day

2010-11-11T21:44:00.005-05:00

As most of you know, today is Veterans Day which is a time for our nation (at least) to celebrate and honor and thank all of the men and women in the armed forces who have protected the freedoms that we all enjoy.

Some of them were drafted. Some volunteered. But they all served.

Some saw action. Some worked behind the lines. But they all served.

Some left limbs behind. Some never returned. But no one was unharmed.

And yet they served. Today we honor that service.

My grandfather, who will be 90 in a few weeks, served. My other grandfather served. My father served. My father-in-law served. My uncles served. Cousins. Friends. Neighbors. Classmates. All of them served.

We all know, or know of, someone who served in the armed forces. That service is the backbone of this country. Those who fought over 200 years ago established the freedoms we enjoy. And every serviceman who has followed has defended them -- even to the death.

Saying "thank you" seems insufficient. But what do I know? My grandfather thinks otherwise, as he said earlier today:

"Your thanks are for all of us; especially the fallen. They are the ones to whom I am beholden. That I survived .... is the luck of the draw."

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 10 -- Long Day

2010-11-10T18:48:00.006-05:00

Man, was this a long day. (And I didn't make it to bed last night on the postmeridian side of zero hour, either.) And I am dragging! But I don't want to deprive you of your daily dose of my "perspective" on life. I think I only have energy to share some of the things I noticed throughout my day:

1) Fall Foliage: Fall is my favorite season. I love the crispness in the air in the mornings. I love the vibrant colors when the leaves change. And autumn is the season of college football, so what's not to love about that? The name of this blog derives, in part, from my love of this season. I saw some great displays of fall color this morning.

2) Free internet: I had a few opportunities today to take advantage of free web access. Maybe it's a sign of my advancing age, but I am so hesitant anymore to jump on a free internet hotspot given all the email/Facebook hacking I've seen over the last 24 months. I might also be tired of paying the computer nazi to de-malware my computer. (If you need a computer repair, the computer nazi that we use is great. He's not German. He's Asian actually, but he's as no-nonsense as the "Soup Nazi" of Seinfeld lore. Hence the name. Sue me, Seinfeld! I dare you!)

3) Club sandwich: I do not recommend the club sandwich at a lunch meeting. Especially when the woman on the other side of the table only eats half of her turkey & swiss. Clubs are good, but that extra slice of bread is problematic. No one on the other side of the table should have to see how wide I can open my mouth and count my fillings as I try to cram that thing in my pie-hole and explain how I can help her business. Even when nothing flies out of the back end of the sandwich, the stress of worrying that I'm going to have a huge dollop of mayo on the side of my face after a bite wears on you.

I am going to sleep well tonight (fingers crossed). This has been one long day. See you tomorrow.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 9 -- Sleep

2010-11-09T21:08:00.004-05:00

For the last several months, I've had some weird sleep patterns. Insomnia mainly. When I go to bed, I can't fall asleep. After several nights of that, I just stopped going to bed until I was completely exhausted. That often results in falling asleep on the couch or in the recliner at some antemeridian hour with a small number. I have a long day on tap for tomorrow, and it's going to start in the wee hours of the day. So I really need to go to sleep tonight on the postmeridian side of zero hour. I'm trying not to think about it, so as not to give my mind something else to focus on when I lay down (or lie down -- whatever).

Insomnia is bad enough without grammar getting in the way!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 8 -- Dinner Guest

2010-11-08T23:43:00.002-05:00

Tonight we had a single friends of ours over for dinner. It was a great time to share a meal and catch up with how she is doing. Jen and I do not fancy ourselves as matchmakers, so we enjoyed the time to just share a meal and catch up with how our friend is doing. As a married couple, we don't always get a chance to spend time with our single friends, in part, because they think we don't have time to spend with them because we are either changing diapers and/or spending time finding odd locales to share intimate moments. Neither of which are reality, by the way.

We dined on a great meal of tilapia and rice and a fresh salad. The better part was the conversation about life and where we are and where we are going. Jen and I both believe in investing in the generations. That's why we've supported and been a part of our church's mission trips to Scotland. But that also applies to the cohort that is a decade-plus behind us. While that requires us to admit our advancing age, it also permits us to devote time in the world of the 20-somethings we know. As we grow older, Jen and I appreciate those we know who have invested their time and energy in us individually and as a couple. It is humbling to think that others might benefit from something that we could share. I have no idea if our dinner guest tonight enjoyed any facet of dinner and/or the conversation we exchanged. I felt good about simply opening our home and making the time to listen to what our guest was dealing with and encouraging her in where she is and where she's headed.

If you have folks in your life who are younger than you who could benefit from another perspective, I would encourage you to make the time for them. Not for you, but for them. As insignificant as you may seem, your life experience is likely more than them which gives you instantly more credibility than others. Don't waste it, but don't hide it either.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 7 -- Uncertainty

2010-11-07T22:47:00.007-05:00

Life is funny. The longer I live, the more I believe that the only thing about life that is certain is the uncertainty of life. We plan for things, and they don't work out as planned. Some of us pray for certain results or opportunities or outcomes, and it doesn't end up as we envisioned. Sometimes, we're minding our own business and something falls into our lap.

I can look back on various times in my life before I was married and since. Before we had Keegan and since. I wanted things to turn out; I tried to set things up to work out as I wanted. And it didn't come to fruition as I wanted or how I thought it would. I take solace in knowing that even when things didn't work out as I might've hoped, I didn't "miss out." I enjoyed the times I had where I was and being used in the ways that I was used.

All of that sounds sort of vague. Maybe it is. The details aren't really the important part.

Don't get me wrong, I get disappointed when things don't work out the way I hoped. It's not like I'm sitting around hoping to win the lottery or some other outlandish possibility. We're talking about job opportunities or relationships or financial situations. I tend to withhold my enthusiasm about things that I hope for. It's nothing more than a defense mechanism to limit the pain of disappointment. But that's a lie. You can't limit your disappointment. You may limit the number of people who know about your disappointment, but you don't limit your disappointment. Even when I don't tell someone about my hopes or dreams or expectations, I still know what they are. I know what I hope for.

This isn't the forum to share all of my hopes and dreams, but I can tell you that there are people who know what those things are. I will continue to share them with those people. I would encourage any of you to do the same. You're going to dream and hope. I think part of being human is to dream for something different, better, grander, etc. Share those things with people who will breathe life into your hopes and dreams and who will walk along side you if certain things don't come to be as you wanted.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 6 -- Boys Night at the Thrashers Game

2010-11-06T22:43:00.006-04:00

We went to the Thrashers hockey game a couple of weeks ago with some friends. Their son is a huge fan, and they were celebrating his birthday there. Keegan had a great time -- mainly because when the Thrashers score, they blow a train horn and 2 Thrasher heads hanging from the rafters blow fire! What four-year-old doesn't love train horns and fire?!?!

So tonight, K-Man and I went to the game against the Chicago Blackhawks, the defending Stanley Cup champions. We started with a meal from Wendy's which we enjoyed sitting on the floor of CNN Center. Chocolate milk with his kid's meal seemed appropriate for the special occasion. Kee certainly enjoyed it. And the fries.

We got inside the arena in time for the pregame introductions, which meant some pre-game streams of fire from the Thrasher heads. Kee is a huge fan, but he can do without the volume. He watches the goings on fully enthralled, but with his hands over his ears the whole time. While we stood for the national anthem, Keegan wanted to know if there was going to be more fire.

As we watched the game, I was able to explain that we wouldn't see fire unless he first heard the train horn, and I was able to get him to understand which goal counted for the train horn and fire.

Intensely watching for goals and train horns and fire!

At the end of the first period, we went for some refreshments. We secured some Sprite and some Dippin' Dots. For those of you who've never seen Dippin' Dots, they are some space-age concoction that we will no doubt learn is completely carcinogenic. For now though, they are a unique way to enjoy ice cream -- if ice cream had to be prepared in a trendy enough package to be used in the final rounds of Top Chef. We got a small bowl of half vanilla dots and rainbow sherbet dots and returned to our seats for the second period. Here's a shot of Keegan shoving a spoonful of dots into his pie hole with gusto!

I ended up finishing the dessert because early in the second period, the Thrashers scored 2 quick goals and the presence of a bowl of ice cream dots interfered with Kee's ability to cover his ears, so he abandoned the cool treat in exchange for muffled decibels.

It was a really enjoyable evening and a hint of some of the fun I've always seen in my mind's eye for K-Man and myself. I look forward to many more games to come!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 5 -- Trip to the Barber Shop

2010-11-05T22:54:00.003-04:00

So I went to the barber shop today. The same one that I've been going to since I was about 11. The barber shop itself has not really changed. Most of the barbers today are different from that first visit, but it's the same barber shop for the most part because barber shops are all populated by the same characters. One barber who plays a character may move on, but he or she is replaced by the same sort of character to maintain the barber shop equilibrium.

The first thing I do as I approach the barber shop is assess how many cars are in the parking lot. The more cars, the longer I will be there. Duh. I was pleasantly surprised to see only a few cars there when I drove up. When I walked in, there were only three barbers working. Based on previous experience, I quickly assessed the situation. The closest chair to the door was open -- which I thought odd, because that guy is ALWAYS there when I go in. He's the resident racist barber. You know, the one who loves to tell jokes but whispers the racist punchline so as not to offend someone waiting who may sing in the church choir. (What about the guy whose hair you're cutting, dude? Ever think maybe, I don't want to be privy to your "wit?") I stopped going to that guy years ago, so his absence was a non-starter.

The next chair was the resident woman barber. Every barber shop has one woman to cut the 2-year-old's hair or in case Edith Bunker walks in and needs to get a trim while Archie enjoys the banter in chair no. 1. She was occupied, so I just sat and read the paper.

The last chair in the corner is reserved for the "new guy." He remains the new guy until he quits or until someone newer comes along, and he can displace someone else to move "up" the row. I've been to this new guy before, but he had someone in his chair already. He's decent, but he doesn't have the years of experience that some of the others do.

In between the new guy and the woman is the resident old guy. He's past his prime, but you can tell there was a time when he might've been the guy in a barber shop -- although this old guy was never "the" guy in this shop. (I know; I've seen him age at this shop.) Now, he likes to talk as much as cut hair. Going with him is a crap shoot because if he's really into talking, he loses focus on the actual hair cut.

Missing today are two folks -- either of whom would be easy choices to see. One is the owner of the shop. He's grown up here. He's been cutting hair here about as long as I've been going, but he must've started right out of high school because he's not 10 years older than I am. It's Friday; the owner doesn't work on Friday. That's why he's the owner.

The other missing guy is the guy I prefer when I'm there. He's good with both the clippers and a pair of scissors. A marriage of those barber skills is not as common as one might think. Anyone who knows me, knows that I've had the same haircut for the last 25+ years (except for my mullet period(s) from various parts of 1986-90. Sue me, I played soccer in high school and college; the mullet was part of the uniform.). That cut requires the #2 blade on the clippers and a little work with the scissors to thin out the top. (At my age, I'm somewhat happy to report that I have enough hair on top to pay someone to thin it out.)

So as my luck would have it, old guy is the one who opened up first today. I just resigned myself to having to listen to whatever stream of consciousness he had to share today. Wow. Today included references to a new kitchen, a possible hunting trip this weekend, a stated preference not to bow hunt, a couple of cooking shows that he watches on the tube, his love of grilling with the underlying implication that I must as well given my maleness, and our shared dislike for driving on Barrett Parkway. I could tell as the cut went on that certain areas were not getting the requisite attention and that other areas had been clipped ad nauseum. Eventually, my time in the chair ended, and I paid the man and bid him a nice weekend.

When I got home and more closely inspected the cut, I was not surprised to see several areas where the #2 blade was not held closely enough to the side of my head to actually clip anything. Nothing I couldn't fix with the trimmer I have at the house.

The moral of the story is to call ahead to make sure your guy is at the barber shop before you go.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 4 -- Boys Night

2010-11-04T22:41:00.006-04:00

So K-Man and I went to Taco Mac tonight for a little dinner. We refer to it as "Boys Night." It's a fun time to get away, and Kee gets his usual -- cheese quesadilla and french fries. Typically, I ask him questions about his day, and he may or may not answer. The "discussions" never go the way I envision them going, but I keep trying. One of these days, we'll actually be able to have a conversation during one of these boys nights. It's still a great time because inevitably, he does something that makes me laugh.

The first time I laughed tonight, we'd been sitting in our booth for about 10 minutes. We were munching on some chips and salsa. Keegan looked across the room and said "there's a girl." I said "yes, that is a girl" (and I was thinking, "there are about 10 others within our line of sight too."). But it's "boys night; there're no girls tonight."

The second time I laughed was when we were taking pictures at dinner. I took a few shots of him enjoying his quesadilla. Like this one:

Then, he wanted to take another one. This time he wanted to take one "backwards." Here you go:

He loved it. And I laughed out loud!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 3 -- Ajax and Cigarettes

2010-11-03T23:39:00.004-04:00

I spent several hours at my mom's house today. She died two months ago. We are still figuring out what to do with all of her belongings. We've donated a number of items and likely will donate more. My sisters and I reclaimed a few items from our childhood as well. I visit the house at least weekly to turn on a different set of lights and to check the mail. (I shouldn't have to check the mail, but the efficient postal service intermittently fails to forward the mail despite my efforts to inform them of where to send it. They must need that extra penny on the stamps to ensure that all the mail gets forwarded.)

Every time I visit the house, I can't help but wonder what my mom did in the house with her free time -- aside from clean it constantly. Growing up, my mother was ridiculously obsessed with maintaining a clean home. In our first house, we had a septic tank in the yard because we lived too far out to be attached to the sewer line. We had to buy yeast packets at the grocery store and flush them down the toilet because my mother cleaned the toilets at least twice a week with that blue powdered Ajax cleaner. With all that cleaner in the septic tank, it wasn't working properly, so we had to add yeast to it so there was an agent in the tank to break down the waste. Based on the current state of the toilets at her house today, she would be mortified. (Let's not tell her. It will be our secret.)

The other thing that I cannot help notice when I visit the house is the absence of the stale cigarette smell that so dominated my childhood. My mother was a 50-year smoker. And growing up in the 70s and 80s, it was common for smokers to smoke in the house. To smoke inside everywhere. In the office. In the car. My mother was very common in that sense. Looking back on it, we must have reeked everywhere we went. I understand now why my mother wore so much Chanel No. 5. But that staleness is not present in her house. She became rigid about smoking outside. And her house was the benefactor of that. Her lungs weren't so lucky in the end.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 2 -- Election Day

2010-11-02T23:37:00.002-04:00

It's a big day in the United States as we sit at the mid-term between Presidential election cycles. Over the last several mid-term elections, much has been made of the people making statements about the popularity of the President by the way they vote in the mid-term. In 1994, the US Congress swung to a Republican majority for the first time in decades in an apparent reaction to Bill Clinton as President. Today's election appears to be a similar statement -- even if the Republicans will wake up with control only of the House of Representatives.

The net gain of over 39 representatives by the Republicans should at least make President Obama and the Democrats sit up and take notice that there is a significant segment of the American public that does not approve of Obama's policies. I am not a political consultant or an expert (assuming those are different), but I feel comfortable saying that it would be a large mistake for the Democrats to consider today's results and forge ahead undaunted and attempt to foist their plans upon the people. And the nice thing about the separation of powers and the checks and balances built into our form of government is that these results will make it very hard for anything to be foisted upon US citizens that doesn't have bi-partisan support.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 1 -- Halloween Surprise

2010-11-01T23:27:00.004-04:00

So we woke up this morning to find a surprise on the front porch. We've all heard stories of Halloween pranks of many varieties. Egging. Toilet-papering the front yard. Smashing jack-o-lanterns. Flaming bags of poop. Fortunately, none of these were awaiting us at dawn's early light.

Instead, Jen found two small cages sitting side-by-side. Each one containing separate members of order rodentia. Yes, we'd been visited by the rodent fairy. Well, the domesticated rodent fairy -- like Glenda the Good Witch, but not without the knee-jerk thoughts of the Black Plague. We found ourselves with two mice and a rat. Thankfully, we'd watched the Pixar flick Ratatouille about 379 times, so we were able to personify the "little guy" as K-Man referred to him. Jen took them to the vet to have them checked out. One of the mice has a little skin issue and got some antibiotics (yes, they make antibiotics to nurse rodents back to health.) The other two seem to be just fine -- as fine as abandoned rodents can be I guess.

Keegan gave them all names. The mice are female and were bestowed the names Gabriella and Molly. (Gabriella is a character on "Sid the Science Kid" and Molly is from the Toy Story trilogy.) The rat is a boy, so Kee declared him "Costco." Maybe because he instinctively knows that a rat could eat through a 5-pound block of cheese or one of those Millennium Falcon-sized cheesecakes that are readily sold at the warehouse retailer.

This was destined to happen because Jen made the comment over the weekend that she didn't think we were ready to get another furry pet. She jinxed us. And K-Man has a few new pets as a result.

"Costco"

Four years ago

2009-12-28T13:28:00.005-05:00

K-Man turned 4 on Christmas Eve. Hard to believe that he's been a part of our lives that long. This time four years ago, Jen and I were hunkered down in a hotel room with the little guy waiting for approval to return home with him. We ventured out to Babies R Us that day to register for baby things because we hadn't taken the time to do that before the adoption train got rolling. I'm sure we drew some stares as we walked around the store with the registry gun -- with baby in tow. I remember getting scolded by one lady because we dared take a baby out with the masses at such a wee age. (I was not thinking nice things about that woman that night -- or just now as I recalled that incident.) Plus, how else could we fit him for his first Gator jersey unless he was there to try it on?

The years since have raced by, and I am sure the coming ones will be gone in an instant as well. I hope to see more moments like the one the day after Christmas this year. K-Man received an electric Amtrak train set from my parents, and I set it up for him while he was taking a nap on Saturday. When he saw it set up and running, his eyes brightened and this grin came over his face like he'd swallowed green beans that tasted like Doritos. (Can you imagine the joy?) For the next hour, the train ran constantly, and every revolution around the track brought a fresh wellspring of elation. See for yourself.

Hopefully, capturing moments like these will slow the hands of time for a bit.

If you haven't read our adoption story, you can read it here: Part 1 and Part 2

I survived another month of blogging.

2009-12-01T16:15:00.005-05:00

I've tried the blog-all-month challenge the last three years. I made it through two of the three attempts. It's not easy to post every day, but I'm glad I met the challenge. I'm sure you found many of them to be mundane, but I can live with that. I endeavored to write 1 per week that may have passed for quality 6th grade writing. I aim high!

I am hoping to ride the wave of posting into December and share some thoughts about the holidays and other random topics, including sports (sorry cbed).

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 30 -- Christmas Tree Lighting

2009-11-30T23:28:00.007-05:00

Tonight, we went to the city's tree lighting in front of the community center and library. This is the second year of our attendance, but this was the first year that K-Man was really looking forward to it -- especially seeing Santa. Before you have a kid, you have these visions in your head of what certain events will look like when you experience them with your child. Up to now, most of our visions have been light years apart from actual events. Rarely, if ever, is Kee as excited about whatever it is as we are hoping he'll be. In fact, he's sort of conditioned us not to expect much of a reaction from him -- certainly not a sustained level of excitement. (Of course, none of this applies to anything involving trains. If it involves a train, he's as excited every time as a dog is to see its owner upon re-entering a room only seconds after leaving.)

Tonight, K-Man was anticipating the arrival of St. Nick. We had explained that he'd be coming to light the city's Christmas tree. Having been to this the year before, we knew where to stand to get a good vantage point for his arrival and the tree-lighting. Santa did not disappoint. Nor did Keegan. His eyes lit up when he caught the first glimpse of the jolly one. He yelled out "Hi, Santa!" He followed him through the crowd and as he climbed the garland-wrapped ladder preparing for the lighting. Kee counted down from 10 and oohed and ahhed when Santa signaled the lights on. He waved to Santa as he left the festivities shouting "Good-bye, Santa!" as he walked out of sight. Then he re-lived it again all the way back to the car as we walked hand in hand. It was a great opening to the holiday season.

Before Santa arrived, Kee took his picture with Frosty.

He surveyed the un-lit tree before Santa's arrival.

He leapt into Mommy's arms when she met us there.

(And was telling her all about what was coming.)

And he waved bye to Santa as he went back to the North Pole

to finish up that last batch of toys before the big day.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 29 -- Serenity Now!

2009-11-29T22:25:00.001-05:00

So I was looking at the NY Times online yesterday and noticed an article about a skeptic who has reversed his position about the originator of the Serenity Prayer. The Serenity Prayer is a mainstay in Alcoholics Anonymous. The prayer opens:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Apparently, the man who edits the Yale Book of Quotations did not believe that Reinhold Niebuhr was the originator of the prayer as has been widely held for decades. Niebuhr was an American protestant theologian/philosopher. If you have not read any Niebuhr, I highly recommend it, but leave your dictionary by your side, because you will need to refer to it regularly. Niebuhr is not easy reading, but if you spend some time with it, there is much to gain from his thoughts.

So apparently, this editor has been persuaded by a recent discovery by a researcher at Duke University. The Dukie found an old student newsletter dated to the 1930s that credits Niebuhr with authorship of the prayer. The version of the prayer in the newsletter reads:

Father, give us courage to change what must be altered,

serenity to accept what cannot be helped,

and the insight to know the one from the other.

I can't help but wonder why the Yale editor was so averse to attributing the prayer to Niebuhr when there already was ample evidence to credit Niebuhr. I kind of prefer the older version over the more common one. I like the notion that we should take courage to try to change things before we accept what cannot be helped.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 28 -- Rivalry Weekend

2009-11-28T23:02:00.003-05:00

The weekends on either side of Thanksgiving are riddled with football games between in-state rivals. Thursday through Saturday this week especially saw matches that often pit family members against each other. Combining family dysfunction, holidays and football is a dangerous mix.

There were a few upsets this weekend too. South Carolina got the best of Clemson in Columbia. NC State pulled the upset over North Carolina. As I am writing, Georgia is leading #7 ranked Georgia Tech, but Tech is driving for the winning score. Tech failed to get the winning score. Poor play-calling on Tech's part on that final possession. All of a sudden, Tech tried to win the game through the air before it had to. There was time on the clock for Tech to try to win with their option attack and shorter, surer passing routes.

In Gainesville, Tim Tebow left The Swamp with his fourth win in a row over arch-rival Florida State (Florida's sixth win in a row over FSU). Tebow threw for 3 touchdowns and ran for 2 others. His play keeps him in the Heisman discussion, but he has to have a 400+ total yards performance next weekend in the SEC Championship game to have any hope of winning the award for a second time.

Colt McCoy kept Texas' championship hopes alive defeating Texas A&M on Thanksgiving night. But he also edged ahead in the Heisman race with an incredible offensive performance against another swiss-cheese Big 12 defense. Texas faces Nebraska in the Big 12 championship game in Dallas next weekend. That Nebraska defense could be the antidote to the Texas offense and ruin the lives of many Longhorn fans. But if McCoy can perform well against that defense, he likely would cap off the Heisman race and book a slot in the BCS championship game.

It's been another great regular season of college football. Hard to believe that it's almost over. I'm not quite ready to watch college basketball yet. But don't worry; I will be.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 27 -- Life Lesson

2009-11-27T23:20:00.003-05:00

Our new approach to disciplining K-Man and teaching him about the realities of life.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 26 -- Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T22:50:00.003-05:00

The Thanksgiving Day is all but done. We had a good one, but a long one as usual. Made it to the gym this morning to work off 500+ calories to credit my gastronomic account for later. Made my oatmeal chocolate chips cookies as is our custom. They turned out well. (For those who care, I start with the Nestle Toll House recipe and add additional sugar, brown sugar and flour to make it a drier mix, plus the oatmeal to add a notion of healthiness.)

My youngest sister (Nicole) and her husband (Jonathan) came over to the house for dinner. Jonathan cooked the turkey at our house. Turned out very good. We made a ham because I'm not that fond of turkey. The ham was nice and will make some great sandwiches for the next several days -- maybe even a western omelet if I'm feeling particularly adventurous one morning. Nicole made her favorite side dish: green bean casserole. Jonathan also made his mom's dressing which was a solid compliment to the proteins on the table (That's how they refer to the meat selections on Top Chef. Nothing is "fish" or "pork" or "beef." They're all "proteins."). K-Man was his finicky self. He had a bite of ham, a bite of green bean casserole, a bite of dressing. He did eat a heaping portion of baked sweet potato though. With how much energy that kid uses throughout the day, it is a wonder he doesn't collapse from lack of fuel given his bird-like eating habits. Of course, he was all over the chocolate chips cookies. And they do have oatmeal in them, so he's fine.

I guess I can't write a "Thanksgiving" post without the obligatory "I'm thankfuls." So here goes.

This has been quite a year for us. There is much to be thankful for. I am thankful for:

-- My family. For Jen who has encouraged me throughout the year as we work to get the law practice off the ground. For Kee who has regularly reminded me why I want to be at home more to see him grow and develop and live his life. Our parents who have supported our decision to make more time for our family.

-- My friends. Who have listened to me for hours as I wade through the rough waters of starting a business. Who have challenged me to be a better husband, father, friend, and person, including the friends I've made in Scotland over the last two summers.

-- My Lord. This year has been one of constant reliance on my Lord. I've been given a lot of talents, but that doesn't always translate into huge success. But we've always had what we need. Not always at the time we would've preferred it, but when we had to have it. I'm thankful for the relationship that I have with Jesus because it adds a covering of peace when the winds of anxiety are blowing all around.

-- Freedom. The sacrifices made by military veterans and those in uniform today serving all over the world to defend our democracy. We can have blogs like this and write about just about anything because of the freedom those men and women fight to maintain.

-- Many otherwise mundane things. Tivo -- the ability to freeze television is nothing short of miraculous. My laptop -- the freedom to do work on my computer at a coffee shop, the lake, the library, or Scotland makes life a lot easier. 24-hour fitness centers -- the freedom to work-out at any hour -- even when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. Costco -- because it wouldn't be right not to be appreciative of a place that sells stamps, tires, baby wipes, half-gallons of salsa, and cheese cakes the size of a stop sign all under the same roof!

There are a multitude of other things -- serious and humorous -- for which I am thankful. And they all remind me that I am incapable of living this life on my own. Never stop reminding me of that.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 25 -- Thanksgiving Prep

2009-11-25T22:54:00.002-05:00

So tonight, I was at home prepping for Thanksgiving. What does that mean? Well, Jen was out wrapping up some piano lessons and then having coffee with a friend. So, I had K-Man Duty.

Now, when you're married and you have kids of your own, you no longer engage in "babysitting" when it involves your own kid. That's just parenting or "watching your kid." But I digress.

I fed Keegan and bathed him. Read a nice story about Jesus calming the storm and said our prayers. Then, I collected the laundry and started separating. Now, I know how to do laundry -- contrary to Jen's opinion. I started with what we call "work-out clothes" because they're all polyester, washed on cold, and Jen thinks they're the hardest for me to mess up. Got that load washed, dried and folded. Then I started the whites. Threw in a good dose of bleach too. Got that load washed and in the dryer. Then I washed the jeans and gray sweat shirts and t-shirts. She can't possibly complain about my efforts to minimize any potential damage I could cause.

When Jen got home, she immediately took note of the laundry in progress. She was skeptical. I encouraged her to be thankful ... because it's Thanksgiving. Sheesh. She asked why I insist on doing laundry. I repeated, just be thankful. I described the loads that had been done already. She rifled through the remaining piles on the floor without audibly disapproving of their respective contents. Then, she noticed a couple of sweaters of hers set aside in their own pile. I'm not stupid. When garments feel that soft and are not made of man-made fibers, I know better than to lump them in with my sweatshirts and boxers -- even if they all are "dark." (Which really means I remember a prior discussion -- or four -- about how certain items of hers can't be washed with my boxers even if they are the same color!)

Every Thanksgiving, I cook chocolate chip cookies as well. I've set out the ingredients on the counter but haven't decided whether I will mix everything up and leave the baking until morning or just do everything in the a.m. I think I'll just wait until morning and keep sipping on my cocktail while Jen looks at train sets on the web for possible gifts for Kee.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 24 -- Almost-4-year-olds

2009-11-24T23:10:00.004-05:00

The last few weeks have been challenging with K-Man. Whoever labeled the "Terrible Twos" was a liar. The "Threes" -- especially the last three months of the Threes -- are the terrible times. Now, not every waking minute is terrible, so put the phone down before you call the authorities.

The kid is a whirlwind of will. Every instruction. Every request. Every comment. Every demand. All are met with a retort. Nothing Aristotelian. Actually, it often is the same retort: "Why?"

And we are not above relying on the staple of parenting: "Because I said so."

The kid's not even a pre-teen, and we seem to be constantly fighting a battle of wills. The most difficult part of this is how cute Kee is. He shoots a look in between melt downs or he flashes his dimples or his million dollar smile. Hard to hold your disciplinary ground when the subject of your instruction makes you giggle. Who among you wouldn't crack up when your kid asks you to come look at his poop?

These challenging moments serve as a reminder to me that this parenting thing is a full-time gig, and it will continue to evolve -- uncovering new battles and new opportunities for instruction. The key, even now, is being consistent. I am somewhat hopeful that as Kee ages, his ability to reason will make certain aspects of this easier while at the same time giving him more ammunition with which to fight. It this were a Texas hold 'em poker match, I would say that I am "all in." When we get to the flop, the turn and the river, I'll still be at the table.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 23 -- Final Home Game

2009-11-23T20:56:00.003-05:00

This is the end of an era. Saturday, the Florida Gators host their in-state rival, the Florida State Seminoles. In any given season, this game is huge for both schools. Like Auburn-Alabama or Georgia-Georgia Tech or Oregon-Oregon State or USC-UCLA. It's rivalry weekend all across the nation.

But in Gainesville, this week is the last home game for Tim Tebow. The Heisman-winning quarterback that many Gator fans like to call Superman will run out of the tunnel at The Swamp one last time. All season, Tebow has run out last in an effort to soak in his final season in a Florida uniform. It is senior day this weekend, but the crowd will be there to watch the guy who will go down as the greatest Gator of all time and perhaps, the greatest football player in college football history -- at least the greatest to this point.

The reality that this is the last home game for Tebow hit his coach today at Urban Meyer's Monday press conference. Below are the highlights of the press conference, but at about the 2:10 mark, he comments about the impact that Tebow has had -- not only on the football team, but also on him as a person. Coaches build strong ties with their players in all sports, but rarely does a player have an impact on a coach off the field. In Tebow's case, his consistent, unselfish, God-centered lifestyle impacted Meyer so much that he took his family on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Those things don't happen every day.

We can debate Tebow's abilities as a quarterback and whether he can succeed at the next level, but you can't debate the young man's ability to inspire his teammates, coaches, fans, friends, and even complete strangers.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 22 -- Dinner with Friends

2009-11-22T23:21:00.003-05:00

Jen and I have been attending a small group at church for the last couple of months. The focus of the group was parenting. All of the couples in the group have from 1 to 4 kids. A pair of seasoned couples led the group. They weren't experts per se -- and more importantly didn't profess to be experts either. They simply had a few more years than the rest of us do raising their kids -- a number of whom are married already.

It's been a great opportunity to get to know the other couples in the group better as well as gain a few new ideas on how to deal with K-Man's more challenging moments. Tonight, one of the leader couples hosted us for dinner. They lived in France for a number of years, and the evening was a typical French meal. The meal itself was great: heavy hors d'oeuves, boeuf bourguingon, salad, fromages (cheeses), and sorbet. But the best part of the evening were the many conversations around the table. Stories of how the couples met, first dates, deciding on baby names. It may seem mundane, but the shared time was food for the soul. In today's fast-paced world, we often eat as quickly as we can to get to the next thing on the schedule. It's refreshing to sit for a few hours an enjoy a meal and the company of friends.

I'm glad to have shared these last few weeks with this group and look forward to more shared time and shared meals.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 21 -- NAIA playoffs report

2009-11-21T21:58:00.003-05:00

So I drove the nearly 4 hours to Pulaski, Tennessee today for the NAIA playoff match between Asbury College and the home team, Martin Methodist College. The drive was a pleasant one, although it would've been spectacular three weeks ago before the leaves fell from the trees.

I arrived about 10 minutes before kick-off -- having learned late that the NAIA had moved the start time up 2 hours. The weather was comfortable: partly sunny with some wispy clouds ribboning the pale blue sky.

The game started quickly for Asbury, with freshman Rebecca Batey putting the visitors on top in the 4th minute on a breakaway. Batey calmly slotting the ball past the MMC keeper. My first thought was that the Eagles scored a little too quickly. But it did seem to settle the women down and confirm that they could play with the 2-time NAIA champs (2005 and 2007).

After the quick start, I took a minute to look at my program, and by "program" I mean the 2 pieces of paper that had the team rosters and team season statistics listed. The thing that jumped out to me right away was that MMC's roster of 23 players included 12 women who were not from the United States. Then, I looked on the field and started matching shirt numbers with names and countries on the roster sheet. All 11 MMC starters were foreign-born. Asbury has one non-U.S. player on the roster, and she's from Canada (a well-known soccer hotbed).

After absorbing the initial blow from Asbury, MMC started to maintain possession of the ball and dictate play a bit. The quality of the MMC players also emerged. MMC equalized in the 16th minute on a corner kick. Poor marking resulted in a powerful header that skimmed off the keeper's hand and cross bar back to another unmarked MMC player to tidy up.

A mere 4 minutes later, MMC went ahead 2-1 in transition showcasing speed and skill. Within another 10 minutes, the home team went up 3-1 on a corner kick doomed by more poor marking. It was clear at half-time that MMC was the more physical squad and were wearing down the Eagles.

The second half was a better half for Asbury, but they did concede a final goal on a free kick in the 70th minute. The kick, from about 25-yards out just to the right of center was taken well. The shot rose and fell into the far left corner. The strike reminded me of many shots I've seem Cristiano Ronaldo take for Manchester United and Real Madrid. Cristiano would've been proud of this one for a couple of reasons: (1) the technique was spot on; and (2) the MMC player was a fellow Portuguese countrymen.

For the rest of the match, the Eagles did a good job playing an offsides trap to foil a number of goal chances for MMC. They sprinkled in a couple of breakaway attempts of their own, but the Martin Methodist squad was never in danger. The final whistle saw the result 4-1 in MMC's favor.

The match is a great stepping stone for the Asbury women's program. This was an eye-opener in many ways. The women now know what it will take to compete at this level. I trust it will push them in the off-season and push them throughout next season as well. They know they need to increase their fitness, their technique, their intensity, and their physicality. I'm excited to see how they respond next year.

But I'm left wondering about the climate in NAIA soccer. The make-up of the MMC team -- especially the starting XI -- is typical of the better teams in the NAIA. Unlike the NCAA, there is no clearinghouse to evaluate the eligibility of the foreign players. If you look at the best men's and women's teams in the NAIA, you will see as many or more non-U.S. players on those squads. This situation has been building since I last played in college. In 1991, Lindsey Wilson was just starting to build its program, but they were doing it with foreign players. At the time, I enjoyed the challenge those players brought, but to say that it has gotten out of hand is an understatement.

Without a clearinghouse, the NAIA teams who want to can field teams of foreign players who may have played in semi-pro situations overseas -- something that the NCAA would never allow. In fact, the NCAA has been known to disallow players who were not paid but who played on club teams with other players who were. I am encouraged to hear that the NAIA will be introducing a clearinghouse that, hopefully, will level the playing field a bit more.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 20 -- NAIA women's soccer tournament

2009-11-20T22:17:00.004-05:00

On Saturday, the women's soccer team from Asbury College plays in its first NAIA playoff match. This day has been a long time coming. Asbury has won the regular season and conference tournament for four years running in the Kentucky Intercollegiate Athletic Conference (KIAC). However, this is the first year that the KIAC has had enough teams for the winner of the tournament to receive an automatic bid to the NAIAs.

Asbury's coach, Paul Nesselroade, was awarded the conference coach of the year following the team's 14-6

season, including 10 straight wins to this point. Coach Nesselroade takes his squad to Pulaski, Tennessee to face the #7 seed team from Martin Methodist College on Saturday. Nesselroade has been building the program for seven seasons to get to this point. The Eagles senior class has won over 50 games during their time on campus and have worked hard to get to this point. I fully expect their commitment to serve as the foundation of success for years to come.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 19 -- Irish Eyes Are Crying

2009-11-19T22:47:00.005-05:00

The World Cup is in South Africa next summer (well, it'll be summer in the northern hemisphere anyway). On Wednesday, the last major group of teams qualified for the tournament. One match that has received a considerable amount of attention is the match between France and Ireland. It was actually the second match between the nations. They played two games, and the first one was in Ireland. The French won that match on Saturday 1-0. In Wednesday's match in Paris, the Irish captain, Robbie Keane, put his squad up 1-0. In the world of international football (i.e., soccer), that meant that the teams were tied 1-1 on aggregate with both teams having an away goal. At the end of the full 90 minutes, the teams went to overtime.

Overtime in these matches is two 15-minute halves, and they are not sudden death. Just before the end of the first half of overtime, France scored a goal to tie the match 1-1 (and go up 2-1 on aggregate). But as you can see in the clip below, Thierry Henry, the France captain yesterday, handled the ball -- twice -- before he passed it to William Gallas to head in from about 2 feet away. Anyone who's ever played soccer knows that only the goalkeeper can touch the ball with his hands.

Everyone on the Irish team saw the handball. The Irish coach saw the handball. Henry admitted after the match that he handled the ball. But somehow, the referee and the linesman missed the whole thing. From the replay, it does look like the ref was shielded by the Irish defender covering Henry, but the linesman looks to have a clear view of Henry from the other side of the field. I'm not an advocate of the conspiracy theories running around, but it is very odd.

There are many in Ireland and around the world calling for a replay of the match to make it fair, but even if you take away Gallas's goal, the score was 1-1, and there was another half of overtime to go. France could've scored in the second half. A tied result at the end of overtime would've led to penalty kicks to decide the winner. I'll take France at home in any such shoot-out. It's an unfortunate end to the match, but it's not the first time a handball has played a huge part of an important international match -- Diego Maradona's "Hand of God" goal comes to mind from the 1986 World Cup. Perhaps the Irish fans shouldn't have enjoyed that Argentina victory over England so much. (Soccer karma perhaps?)

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 18 -- Why I Don't Watch Ultimate Fighting

2009-11-18T22:47:00.005-05:00

Why I don't watch ultimate fighting.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 17 -- Building Windows of Opportunity

2009-11-17T22:54:00.002-05:00

I went to an event tonight hosted by my alma mater, Asbury College. The college has begun construction of a new building for the Communication Arts program. The college president spoke about the program's history, where it is headed, and how this new facility will equip students for making a difference in television, radio, journalism, and public relations.

Asbury's communication arts program dates back about 25 years. Over that time span, the college has developed a strong reputation for preparing students to work in broadcasting. The college has trained students for nine Olympics. They help producers and directors. They film Olympic competitions. As a result, networks seek out Asbury students when filling openings.

The original building for the program was designed to house about 75 students in the program. There are over 300 in all of the Communication Arts programs today. The new building will not only accommodate those students but also better prepare them for the fields they enter because they will be working with state-of-the-art equipment.

The college is calling the capital campaign for the new facility, Building Windows of Opportunity. You can learn more about the new building at the Building Windows site. There are several videos that discuss the building, the program, and what Asbury students are doing in their respective fields.

If you know a high school student who is interested in broadcasting, television, radio, journalism, or public relations encourage him or her to take a look at Asbury.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 16 -- Specialization

2009-11-16T23:15:00.004-05:00

There was a time when the practice of law was like a trip to the general store. I'm not saying that practicing law was once like stocking shelves with cans of peas, an assortment of jerky and shot gun shells. But there was a time when the local attorney helped people with every variety of legal need. Like medicine, that is really no longer the case. Today, the practice of law is specialized. "The law" is impacted by the laws passed by Congress and state legislatures, as well as federal and state courts. The constant "updating" of the law makes it difficult for people to be "generalists." Our litigious society doesn't help either.

Which brings me to a call that I received today. I practice labor and employment law. Primarily, I help businesses with their employee issues, although I also help employees. But the bulk of what I do involves labor and employment law. Today, however, I received a call from someone who got my name from someone I met at a networking meeting. The call involved a pseudo-common-law marriage situation via a religious union with which I wasn't familiar. Additionally, there was a car involved. The car was purchased in the woman's name, but the de facto husband was using the car and occasionally making payments on it despite a verbal agreement that he would make every payment. All of this information was followed with the ubiquitous question: "do you handle things like this?"

No I don't. I know people who practice family law. Not aware if they handle situations involving certain religious rites or practices. But I'm glad to refer people to those who have more experience.

I love to help people who need assistance. But lawyers can't help everyone in need of legal assistance. The nature of the practice doesn't allow that anymore.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 15 -- Words

2009-11-15T23:06:00.002-05:00

We heard a good message this morning at church about the power of words. David said that the average person speaks 16,000 words each day. (Jen would argue that I might do that in a week.) Regardless, we speak a lot of words over a lifetime, and they have an impact on those who hear them. Speaking words of encouragement is not something that comes naturally to me. Having a child though magnifies the importance of developing that skill. You would think that having a wife might, but what can I say? I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot! I'm not proud of that; just being honest.

But having K-Man around really does make messages like this morning's hit me in the face. And it's not just about saying words that build him up. It's as much about avoiding words that retard his enthusiasm. I need patience to deal with his off-the-charts energy. I'm not wired that way. I'm also not 3 years old. I need to adjust my reactions to things because it's not fair to him to expect him to have that much self-control. When I examine this, I generally come back to my selfishness. I get caught up in what I want to do or not do. It doesn't apply just to Kee's demands on my time either.

David made another good point this morning about the words we say. It's not just about words we say to others. We also need to stop saying a lot of the negative things we say to ourselves about ourselves. Is there a more powerful influence on our psyche than the words we let fly in our own heads? I think not.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 14 -- Saturday Sports

2009-11-14T20:20:00.005-05:00

Another Saturday, another stilted performance from the Gators. This has been such a hard season to watch the Gators which is somewhat difficult to believe because they are 10-0 after winning today on the road at South Carolina. The game started well with a long pass play from Tim Tebow to Riley Cooper, but as has happened in most games this season, things bogged down after the first quarter. In the end, they remain undefeated. They finished the SEC schedule undefeated and await Alabama on December 5th for the SEC Championship Game at the Georgia Dome. I try not to complain when the Gators have won 20 games in a row, but these close games are giving me (more) gray hair than I want.

Ole Miss took Tennessee to the wood shed today. I saw many a pundit calling for UT to win this one on the road. Given all the distractions in Knoxville this week, I had a hard time seeing it. Dexter McCluster ran all over Monte Kiffin's defense. Good win for Ole Miss. I'd like to see Snead stick around for another season at Ole Miss to see if he can lead that team farther next season. I suspect Sam Bradford's experience at Oklahoma this year will weigh heavily at the end of the year when he contemplates his decision.

My Saturdays in the fall usually start with English Premier League matches. Most Saturdays, there is a "lunch time" match that starts at 7:45 a.m. eastern, followed by a handful of matches at 10:00 a.m. But this weekend, there is a break in the Premier League schedule to accommodate the last small group of matches for World Cup qualifying. There were also a number of international "friendlies" for the nations whose World Cup fates were already decided. So there were some matches on this morning, but I wasn't interested in watching a friendly that didn't matter.

I was glad to see the University of Kentucky become bowl-eligible today with a win on the road at Vanderbilt. That makes four consecutive seasons that UK will head to a bowl. They've won the last 3 bowl games. Here's to a fourth consecutive result in their favor.

Hats off to Georgia Tech. With their win at Duke University today, the Yellow Jackets are 10-1 and will play in the ACC Champhionship Game on December 5th. Paul Johnson has a talented group that has bought into his option system, and they wear down teams over four quarters. Lately, they are also getting some big pass plays from Josh Nesbitt at quarterback when on the few occasions they let him throw the ball.

Stanford scored 55 points against Southern Cal today -- the most points EVER given up by USC. EVER. Jim Harbaugh has done a great job at Stanford in his short tenure there. This year, he has 2 huge wins against Oregon and USC. I suspect some major programs are going to be knocking on his door very soon. Notre Dame anyone? I wonder if the Michigan man will get a call from some wealthy boosters about coming back to Ann Arbor to restore the Big Blue tradition given Rich Rodriguez's struggles with installing his spread system.

I'm not a huge NBA fan, but I can't ignore how well the Atlanta Hawks have started the season. They are winning again tonight and will move to 8-2 for the first eighth of the season. Last night, they earned a huge road win in Boston against the Celtics. I applaud the Hawks ownership for sticking with the coaching staff over several years as the team was rebuilt through the draft and the occasional free agent pick-up. The addition this season of Jamal Crawford and Joe Smith seem to be the final pieces that could propel the team into the conference finals if everyone stays healthy and continues to build on the quick start.

How did your favorite teams do this weekend?

Happy Birthday to my sister Anita today. She's enjoying a birthday weekend in Athens.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 13 -- I miss liner notes

2009-11-13T21:43:00.002-05:00

I really enjoy listening to music. Always have. I still have some of the records I had as a kid. The Eagles (The Long Run). The Village People (Cruisin') -- the one with "YMCA" on it. KISS (Destroyer and Double Platinum). And I may have been the only 8-year-old with the triple live album by Paul McCartney and Wings (Wings Over America).

Then CDs came along when I was in high school. I adjusted to the new format.

But the great thing about records and CDs (and even cassettes) was that they came with liner notes that almost always included the words to the songs. One of the things I used to enjoy about buying a new CD was getting home, popping the CD in and reading the words as I was listening to the songs. It really helped cement the songs in my head.

But today, so much of the music I buy is downloaded. And liner-note-free. Some downloadable CDs come with a pdf of the insert, but I've never gotten iTunes to open even one of them.

At my age, I really need the words to the songs if I'm ever going to learn the songs. I could go buy the CDs the "old fashioned way" but it's so convenient to just click and have my music right there.

Anyone else identify with this at all?

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 12 -- Unknown package

2009-11-12T22:43:00.004-05:00

So I got an email tonight confirming shipment of a package.

Normally, I like getting those emails. I'm totally on board the online shopping train! Anything that allows me to find products I need without having to encounter the bastions of customer service that populate today's retail centers must be sanctified, right? Or is it sanctimonious?! (Look it up for me, will you?)

I've ordered many a thing online. I've ordered:

Contacts.

University of Florida championship t-shirts. (Actually, I've done that four times since 2006 for you Georgia fans reading.)

Wine. (Had that delivered to California as a "thank you" to some friends.)

Toner cartridges. (Ink jet and laser)

Pants (Jeans and khakis)

Shoes (running shoes, cleats, and slippers)

Books (of the legal variety as well as ones I wanted to read!)

DVDs

The problem is I don't know what this package is.

I don't recall ordering anything recently.

Doesn't seem likely that someone would steal my information and order something for themselves but then mail it to my house. Right?

I don't take Ambien, so I don't think I woke up in the middle of the night, got on the computer, ordered something and went back to bed.

Nonetheless, something is coming in the mail. Or so the internet told me.

I'll let you know when it arrives.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 11 -- Veteran's Day Tribute

2009-11-11T22:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the 234th Anniversary of the U.S. Marine Corps. Fittingly, today is Veteran's Day. I cannot put into words my appreciation for the sacrifices made by all the soldiers who have served and are serving to defend the freedoms that we enjoy.

As I have indicated on this blog before, I love the Band of Brothers mini-series that HBO produced a number of years ago. Not only does it do a great job of telling the story of Easy Company and its journey through D-Day and the end of World War II, but it spends time talking with surviving members of Easy Company. The clip below is the last 7 minutes of the mini-series and talks about what happened to some of the soldiers in Easy Company, including some final comments from the men themselves. They say it best about what it was like to serve. All I can say is "Thank You."

The people that produced Band of Brothers (Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, etc.) will be bringing another mini-series to HBO in March 2010 called The Pacific. I look forward to learning more about that part of the war that often gets lost in the shuffle -- if that's possible -- when compared to the drama of the D-Day invasion. Here is a preview of that forthcoming production. NOTE: some violence in this.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 10 -- My initial reaction to Dave Ramsey

2009-11-10T22:52:00.003-05:00

Couldn't have said it better myself.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 9 -- 20 years ago

2009-11-09T23:04:00.004-05:00

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the end of the Berlin Wall. I remember that I was sitting in the cafeteria at Asbury College during my sophomore year when the news broke that the wall was coming down. I've always felt a connection to Germany. My connection initially was to West Germany because I was born there while my Dad was in the army. I remember doing a report on West Germany in 4th grade because of this connection I had. We had a lot of reminders of Germany in the house when I was growing up, including a cuckoo clock with the metal pine-cone weights that helped the clock keep time. One of the first things my mother did when she woke up in the morning was to pull the chains on the clock to reset the weights at the top. That sound announced the start of the day.

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I remember the Cold War. I remember the division between Eastern Europe and Western Europe. That division was epitomized by the wall that divided a city. I remember not understanding why anyone would live in West Berlin when it was "surrounded" by East Germany, starting with East Berlin on the other side of the wall. But if that was where you were from, why leave? It's just as much your city as it is those who live on the east side. And thankfully, those residents never left, because I am sure their presence in West Berlin served as a beacon of sorts to the many easterners who longed for a better existence than the Soviet structure provided.

I saw a story tonight that included an interview with a man who looked to be about 35 or so. He grew up in West Berlin and now lives in what once was East Berlin. He commented that he and his friends growing up thought the fall of the Berlin Wall was an inevitability. That was not my feeling growing up. And I think there were a lot of people older than me who didn't look at it that way.

For about half my life, there was a Berlin Wall, and the other half has seen the reunification of Germany and the fall of the Soviet bloc in Eastern Europe which fell in relatively rapid succession. It truly was an historic time. And an inspiring time because it was a tangible demonstration of the power of ideas. Freedom and democracy won out.

We could debate what caused the Wall to fall, but this doesn't feel like the right time for those discussions. I'd rather thank the German people who clung to their dreams of a unified nation and refused to be silenced forever.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 8 -- Thoughts from a coaches meeting

2009-11-08T23:07:00.003-05:00

Last spring I helped coach a little league baseball team. It was a group of 10-, 11- and 12-year-old kids. I enjoyed it so much that I am helping again this season. You might be thinking, "It's early November; why are you talking about baseball now? The World Series just ended. Didn't the off-season just start?" I could understand your confusion. But alas, tonight I went to a meeting of the coaches in our league in preparation for next spring. The meeting was called by a couple of parents who serve on the park's board. One of the topics raised by the board members was the level of instruction on fundamentals that the players receive. The message was that some parents had raised some concerns that the instruction varied depending on which team their sons happened to be drafted on. In an effort to "help" the coaches, the park is going to pay to send all of us to a coaches' clinic to give us some ideas to help us. I think I heard the phrases "another tool for the tool box" and "sharpen our saws" about 8 times throughout the meeting.

I love watching people attempt to deliver subtle messages and then soft sell the real point because they're afraid of hurting someone's feelings. The real point was that the park thinks that some coaches are not giving their all, and the kids and parents can tell. While the park realizes that we're not paid for any of our time, it's only right that if you volunteer to coach, perhaps you should actually coach.

I see nothing wrong with delivering that message. Personally, I don't get it when I look around at how other coaches are doing things (or not doing things). Why bother? I understand that it can be difficult when your team may not win a lot of games, but there's more to coaching than just winning games. And even if this year's team may not win a lot, the players you have who will come back next year can learn a lot if you take the time. There also are lessons that can be taught beyond the game itself. Hard work. The value of practice. Being a part of a team. The lessons learned through failure. Perseverance. Endurance. The list goes on and on.

The other interesting thing about providing the coaches' clinic is that there are a lot places to find instructional assistance. The first one is Google! You can google baseball practice or baseball instruction and find hundreds of sites with ideas. But you have to want to find the information first. It doesn't take much effort.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 7 -- 36 hours at the lake

2009-11-07T20:44:00.004-05:00

I took K-Man with me to the lake Friday afternoon. Boys weekend. We stopped by Ingles on the way for some supplies: Kraft Mac & Cheese, hot dogs, "orange chips" (i.e., nacho cheese Doritos), Cheez-its crackers (Scrabble edition -- so we're working on the alphabet and enjoying that cheesy greatness), bananas, bagels and donuts. I also picked up a surprise for him (like the above was not awesome enough, right?)!

After we got our rations, we proceeded to the lake house and made dinner: Mac & Cheese, orange chips and half a banana. I went with a couple hot dogs, and a glass of wine. (If you're interested, I found the Bogle Merlot went well with the Hebrew National dogs.) After dinner, we played with trains, cars, and trucks, and watched a little Toy Story 2. Then off to bed. No bath. We weren't trying to impress anyone.

The morning started with some coffee -- for me, not him. He had milk. And of course, donuts. K-Man picked up where he left off the night before with the trains, cars, trucks and Toy Story 2. And he stayed in his pajamas. I asked a couple of times if he wanted to put on some clothes and go outside to play. He declined. He loves wearing his pajamas. After a few hours, he tried to convince me that he should go sans pajama bottoms, but I put my foot down. We can be total slobs on boys weekend, but we'll be wearing pants. The kid'll never find a wife if he thinks pants are optional. No need to feed that monster.

Lunch was PBJ and a banana. Then, I offered him a choice: orange chips or a surprise. The kid didn't hesitate. "Surprise" was his cry, eyes dancing. So I told him to close his eyes. He buried his face in his hands. I set up the surprise on the table in front of him and told him to open his eyes. There it was. He hesitated. Smiled. "That's Woody," he said (from Toy Story). Then, he moved Woody's head back to reveal the strawberry pellet of goodness! Oh yes, a Woody PEZ dispenser. He was familiar with PEZ before this, so it took him all of about 10 minutes to finish the sleeve of candy in Woody's ... neck, I guess. He did give me one piece.

We spent the afternoon playing cars, racing trains, tickling, wrestling, and swapping out Toy Story 2 for Ratatouille. We snacked on a few Cheez-its to tie us over until dinner along the way.

He got a bath before dinner, so he was fresh and ready for bed early. He had another bowl of mac & cheese, some orange chips and a glass of water. More trains, cars, trucks, and wrestling.

Before bed, we've been reading out of this great book that Jen found with Bible stories. The first one is about "little" Zaccheus. We've read it so much, Kee knows the story by heart. I asked him to read it to me. There is nothing cuter than a 3-year-old reading a Bible story -- with enthusiasm. It is also a little spooky to watch him do it, because he says the exact words on the right pages, turning page after page as he goes. He does the same thing with his Curious George book too.

It's been a good weekend together. We've just hung out and done nothing, but we've done a lot too. Hopefully, it's a small deposit in a lifelong account that will return with interest!

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 6 -- Who says soccer's not a contact sport?

2009-11-06T21:06:00.006-05:00

Many of you have probably seen the video clip of the Mountain West Conference women's semi-finals soccer match between New Mexico and BYU. A New Mexico defender takes physical play to a completely new level. You want your central defenders to be tough and to play a physical brand of soccer. And I can sympathize with the New Mexico player as this back and forth starts. She is marking a BYU forward who gives her an elbow in the chest. This obviously does not sit well with the defender. Her mistake is that she rares back and punches the forward in the top of her back. The situation clearly calls for a forearm in the lower back -- a strike that says "I won't be pushed around by you BYU forward." Message delivered. But no, rather than standing up to the opponent and moving on, the punch to the back is just the appetizer of a 10-course meal of violence. No white table cloths at this affair either. This is like a torch-lit Viking buffet of slabs of meat -- killed and skinned table-side -- and casks of ale. Not exactly fine dining.

For those of you who haven't seen the video of Thursday's match yet or those who can't see it enough times, here it is again:

I was asked today if I ever had my hair pulled like that in a match. I had hair that long in the late-80s, but I never pulled it back in a pony tail. The mullet was sufficient. But no one ever pulled the mullet. (Why would they? At 5'8" no one ever mistook me for Samson.) Plenty of elbows in the sides and back throughout my play in high school and college. I can identify with the emotion that this New Mexico player obviously felt the other day. Not justifying anything she did, but the game gets heated if you care at all about your performance and your team's performance. Emotions can get the best of you from time to time. One particular instance comes to mind when I was a sophomore in college. We were playing our homecoming match. I was playing in the midfield on the wing. An opposing midfielder knocked me down as we were fighting for a ball by the sideline. Then, he stood over me and/or said something unkind. As fast as my shoulder blades hit the ground, I popped back up. In one motion, I stood up and shoved him in the chest knocking him on his back and stood over him. My Old Testament approach got me a yellow card. (The stereotype that the Irish have short fuses is probably based on thousands of similar incidents in towns on both sides of the Atlantic. At least mine didn't take place in a bar in Dublin or South Boston!)

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 5 -- Our mailman

2009-11-05T21:15:00.004-05:00

I work out of the house, and my office currently is at the front of the house. There is a park across the street, so I get to watch our neighbors walk their dogs. I saw a coyote on a cold morning in February -- probably the one that ended the existence of our former cat.

But one of the things that has stood out to me all year is the timing of our mailman. As most of you know, during a week absent a federal holiday, the mail is delivered 6 days per week. Five of the six days the mail comes no earlier than 5:00 p.m. On the sixth day, the mailman drops off the mail around 2:00 p.m. When mail is delivered, one would probably assume that the sixth day of mail might be Saturday. You'd be wrong. Ironically (perhaps in the Alanis Morrisette sense of irony), the sixth day is not Saturday. In fact, it's not any one day. It's one of three days -- but not the same day each week. For some reason -- that I have yet to determine -- on either Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, the mailman delivers the mail earlier than every other day of the week. But never the same day each week. Why? Is he just bored with the usual route, so he mixes it up once a week but never the same day to take the "mixing it up" to the next level?

I like nothing more than my routine. When routines go awry, chaos ensues. Chaos is bad -- except in theoretical physics courses and summer camp games! The variable rate mail delivery schedule upsets my routine. It means that there is no routine for three days a week or that there are 2 days each week when there is an unnecessary routine. More importantly, why do I care?

I just saw a hilarious scene in the HBO show "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Larry David, the star of the show, is visiting the cemetery site where his mother is buried. His father is with him to show him the new tombstone he bought for his former wife. After he reads the tombstone, Larry notices that the inscription reads "Born - Sept 18, 1920" and "Past Away Oct 21, 2001." Larry proceeds to chastise his father for misspelling the tombstone by using "past" instead of "passed." The punch line isn't that it was a mistake the widower failed to catch, but rather that it was cheaper to go with "past" over "passed" because the cost was $50 per letter. He saved $100 using the shorter word, and most people think it means the same thing anyway. To me, that's funny. (Now you have a little insight into my personality. Feel free to block my number if you must.)

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 4 - Deep Water

2009-11-04T22:22:00.005-05:00

In mid-July, I helped co-lead a mission trip to Scotland with our church. This was a return trip for me, but a new leadership role. Even with the added responsibilities, it was a great trip made better because Jen came with us this year. I enjoyed introducing her to my Scottish friends and vice versa, and now they are her friends as well.

I had several questions from people about why there might be a need for a mission trip to Scotland. Many hear "mission trip" and associate that with third-world countries where clean water is a luxury or in remote areas where the Christian faith is a stranger. There are plenty of mission trips to those areas. Our trips to Scotland involve providing a summer camp for middle- and high-school-age students where we try to create an atmosphere where they can learn what the Lord thinks about them and the plans He has for their lives; an atmosphere where they can ask questions; an atmosphere where they can unashamedly worship; an atmosphere where their concerns about their level of acceptance at school or at home doesn't determine anything about their standing in life. We partner with a small church outside Glasgow that has a huge heart for the students in the area and across the country but doesn't have a budget to match.

The church in Cobb County that sends us to Scotland has a summer camp each year for hundreds of our students and their friends. That camp has been going on for over 30 years. We attempt to capture the spirit of that camp and pack it up in Rubbermaid bins and fly it over the Atlantic with us. We spent the better part of 6 months meeting and planning and praying for our 11-day trip this year. The Scotland camp included about 35 Scottish students this year. Our theme was Deep Water, and we wanted to challenge the students to go deeper in their faith; to trust the Lord more deeply; to get to know Him in a deeper way.

This was the third year of the camp -- although just my second year on the trip. Some of the students have been to all 3 camps, and there were several new students who came this year because of the changes they observed in their friends who had come the year before.

We had a team of about 22 people this year -- about half of which were high school students from our church's youth group. One of the highlights for me each year has been watching our high school students model their relationships with the Lord for the Scottish students. Any number of the adults on the team can talk to the students about ways to deepen their relationships with the Lord, but when it comes from a peer, it's just different. I love watching that happen.

As a co-leader this year, I spoke during the morning sessions Monday to Thursday. I am not a preacher, but I felt like there was something that the Lord wanted me to share with the students each day. Months before we left, I had thought I would be sharing a certain group of talks, but as the trip approached, I kept feeling that there were some other things that the Lord wanted me to share. When we left for Scotland, I had 1 talk and 2 outlines for 4 messages (that doesn't add up for those of you reaching for your abacus). That meant for some long nights of writing and very short nights of sleep. But, in the end, I think the talks went well.

Before we left in July, we had already decided on the dates for the 2010 camp, and within a week of our return, the camp had been booked for our trip for next year. I am looking forward to going back, although I'm not sure if Jen will join us again. The 11-day separation from K-Man was quite a lot to ask of her. As much as we would love to bring him over with us (and our Scottish friends have encouraged us to do just that), the pace of camp just doesn't mesh well with a then-four-year-old (regardless of how cute he is).

As we did last year, at the end of camp, we tried to capture camp in video form. The highlight reel is provided below. The four student testimonies at the end are worth listening too. There are some accents to cope with, but I encourage you to try and hear what they have to say.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 3 -- Nearing the end

2009-11-03T22:42:00.004-05:00

So I played some softball tonight. We've played in the fall and the spring for several years now (except for the one season the manager forgot to send in the registration on time). I enjoy playing. We're in the playoffs. Usually, we'd be done by now, but the weather has not cooperated on a number of Tuesday nights this fall. We won the first game tonight and lost the second. The second time in the double-elimination playoffs that we've had to do this. I've learned something over the course of the 2 doubleheaders this season. I am really getting old. Not only does my body not want to play two games in one night, but it makes me pay the next two days following. So I am not looking forward to the pain I will be in tomorrow and Thursday (over-the-counter pain relievers only go so far!).

Not only was tonight the last softball game of the season, but it was also the last one I'll play in my 30s. By the time the spring season rolls around, I will have crossed that threshold of the big 4-0. "They" say that 40 is the new 30. But I remember when I was 30. I was still playing 90-minute soccer matches then. These softball games last an hour, and one hour leads to a day-and-a-half recovery that I never had at 30 after soccer. So "they" are liars!

I don't have any real issues with the prospect of turning 40. I know my body has issues with it, but my mind likes to think that I am still 18 at times. (I'm not proud of that necessarily, but at least something in me is trying to defy the passage of time.)

At 40, I'll have a 4-year-old. When my Dad was 40, I was graduating from high school. I think that is just the era we live in. I know so many parents who are older. In fact, I went to K-Man's fall party last week at school, and the majority of the parents in the room would remember the 70s and 80s from personal experience, not from the History Channel or some decades music special on VH1. (In fact, they know that the "VH" in VH1 stands for "Video Hits" and that the channel once played videos 24-7.) Many times at Kee's activities, I am more surprised when the parents are in their 20s. All that to say that I think K-Man is helping keep us young. Even when my body may want to rebel, I can push through it to watch him enjoy himself with some activity.

So I may be nearing the end of my 30s, but I ain't dead yet!

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 2 -- Halloween and the Pumpkin Patch

2009-11-02T19:28:00.008-05:00

Last night I promised some pictures from Halloween. Our little Buzz Lightyear. K-Man's first Halloween, he went as Hulk. That may be the last time that he didn't complain about wearing a costume -- probably because he wasn't verbal enough to express his displeasure. Oh, were that the case now!

Kee has embraced the cheesiest of smiles when asked to smile for pictures. It is on full display below. His best smiles are when he's laughing. He hasn't learned the art of smiling on queue like his mom.

Out on the street. Going to the 7 houses that he could last in the costume.

Back home to hand out candy to the kids who stayed in their costumes in pursuit of tooth decay!

Dad with Buzz (and a side of cheese)

Buzz and Mommy!

A couple of weeks ago, Kee and his 3-year-old class took a field trip to the Pumpkin Patch. Here's K-Man with 2 of his best friends in his class this year.

Cannon, Keegan and Jacob.

(contemplating their next move.)

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 1

2009-11-01T22:26:00.006-05:00

So here we are again with another attempt at posting every day for the month of November as part of National Blog Posting Month (i.e., NaBloPoMo) 2009. It's been about 4 months since I last posted, and I apologize to any reader who may still remain out there. Life sometimes gets in the way of this blog thing. It's funny because when I first thought about starting a blog, I think I did it because I was looking for a distraction from the life I had at my old job. Over the last 10 months of working for myself (and/or trying to find work for myself to do), I haven't had as much interest in making time to post here. Perhaps you're thankful for that.

Yesterday was Halloween. K-Man went as Buzz Light Year from the Toy Story movies. The kid loves those movies, but he hates wearing costumes. He wore it for about 5 minutes last week at his school's Fall party and barely lasted 8 houses last night on our street. He was much more interested in handing out candy to the kids that came to the house. He's a giver. Jen has some pictures that she's going to upload so I can put a couple on here for my reader to see.

My law practice remains a challenging venture. I have a meeting tomorrow about a new project for a company. I've had a number of positive networking meetings over the last few weeks. There seems to be some momentum building. Throughout the whole process Jen and I have tried very hard to trust God for how this venture is playing out. Sure, we'd prefer to have a steady flow of work and payments coming in, but He appears to be embracing an approach that requires our steadfast reliance on His provision. Surprisingly, I'm not completely gray or bald from this faithfully variable schedule.

I couldn't write without mentioning the 8-0 Florida Gators and their victory over Georgia over the weekend. It has not been the smoothest of rides for the Gators this year. As defending BCS champs, every team is gunning for them every week. Plus, they have to deal with the expectations of repeating as champs. I speak for all Gators when I thank Georgia coach, Mark Richt, for retaining the services of defensive coordinator Willie Martinez. It was nice to watch the Gators break out of their offensive slump yesterday, and Willie had a hand in that. Thanks again Coach Richt!

Over the next few days, I'll give an update on our Scotland trip from the summer, including a video from our trip. (That's a tease to get you to come back here!)

Meanwhile, 6 months later ...

2009-07-07T10:52:00.004-04:00

Things have progressed over the last 6 months. It's been up and down. I spent some time decompressing from 9+ years of firm life. Jen and I took a trip to St. Pete in February for a few days. I helped coach a little league team in Sandy Springs this spring with a former colleague at my old firm. That was something that I had wanted to do for a while and just had not had time to do. It was a lot of fun working with those 10-, 11-, and 12-year-olds. We did well too. Finished the regular season 21-3 and then swept the league's "World Series" to cap off the 23-3 season with 2 trophies. I am planning to help out again next year, so it will be fun to watch the 10's and 11's become 11's and 12's and see how they progress.

On the work front, I spent some time looking at other opportunities, but nothing materialized. So we made the decision to strike out on our own. I've opened Pinto Law Office, LLC -- conveniently located on the first floor -- of our house! It's taken a while for things to get moving in the right direction, but June was a good month for us from a billings standpoint. Now I just need for those clients to pay me. I am primarily doing the same things I was doing before: Labor and Employment Law mostly representing employers. I am open to representing employees as well who have employment issues. I have helped a couple of clients recently with some internal investigations they wanted conducted regarding harassment allegations and potential disciplinary decisions. Feel free to refer business owners, HR managers, and individuals who you may know who need some labor and employment advice. The website isn't up yet, but I hope to have it finished soon.

July brings another trip to Scotland. This year, Jen is joining the team for our trip over to provide a youth camp for a church outside Glasgow. I am helping co-lead the team this year because last year's leader moved to Nashville. I am also speaking during the morning sessions, so I have been trying to finalize those talks over the last few weeks. I have a new-found respect for pastors who prepare messages on a weekly basis. Jen is a little uneasy (understatement) about leaving K-Man behind on this trip, but she knows he'll be fine staying with Grammy while we're gone. She's stopped counting the days until we leave; now she's counting down the days until we return. If you want to follow along with our Scotland trip, there is a website set up where we'll be providing updates and photos HERE.

One of the things about launching out on our own and giving up a regular paycheck is the uncertainty of it all. It has been, and will continue to be, a constant test of faith. I give it up and take it back all the time. We are learning. But it is hard. Jen has been incredible in her support of this decision. She lived through the years at the firm -- which were not all bad -- but it wore me down. I was, at times, not a very likable person. (I know, you're all shocked to hear that! But it's very true.) Jen endured a lot through that. I owe her. So I sometimes feel bad that after enduring the past 9+ years, she now has to walk through this present mess and the stresses that come with this. But I think, despite all the uncertainty, that she and I are supporting each other very well. Because with the uncertainty comes the freedom to make our own schedule and for me to be around in the middle of the day to do some things with Kee that I hadn't made time for before. So keep us in your prayers as we walk this walk and see the Lord's faithfulness shine.

Doing Double Duty

2009-01-15T17:32:00.006-05:00

Well, with recent changes, I have some time on my hands to do some other things that interest me. In late summer last year, I was contacted by someone at the AJC about contributing to a Human Resources blog that the newspaper wanted to include on its AJCjobs site. After several months of preparation, I can report that the site is up and running. I am contributing content to the site along with two others on a rotating basis. After an introductory post last week announcing the formation of the HR Roundtable, several questions were presented by readers. I responded to one of those questions, and that response was posted today here.

I am not sure how this will play into my search for "what's next," but I am enjoying the opportunity to write some.

[And thanks to everyone who shared words of encouragement. No other news to report, but I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.]

Change

2009-01-05T22:53:00.004-05:00

I don't generally get into New Year's resolutions. Not that I have anything against resolutions or people who make them every year. I think we need goals. I think we need things to keep us moving in a positive direction.

For 2009, I don't really have a resolution per se. But I am in a different position than I was in at the beginning of 2008. It's a different position than I was in on the last day of 2008 for that matter.

I left my position with the law firm at the end of the year. It was a long time coming. I have been tired of law firm life for a couple of years. I knew it. The firm knew it. But we both tried to make it work thinking that a switch might flip and bring me back to the fold -- so to speak. Alas, that switch was stuck in the off position.

We've known this situation was coming for a couple of months. The firm and I worked out the transition back in mid-October. If I may, I have to thank my firm for its patience with my efforts to figure out what I wanted to do and its efforts to help me find something that better fit my personality and my desire not to sacrifice my family for my career. I only worked at one firm after law school, and I wouldn't have wanted to work at another one. But for all the great things about that place, it just wasn't right for me. Eventually.

There was a time when I thought I'd be there for 30 years. I loved working 60-70 hours a week and the perks that came with it. I loved being everyone's go-to guy. Being the guy everyone knew they could call at or before 7:00 a.m. in an emergency. Being the guy who could be counted on to work 40 hours in a weekend to get a project done. Being a guy who could pull an all-nighter to get that last-minute brief written.

But all that came at the cost of less time for Jen. Less time for friends. Less time for family. Eventually, people stopped asking me to do things because they assumed I was working anyway. Who could blame them? Often when I was able to make it to things, I was either still thinking about work or too freakin' tired from work to be present. Even after I'd stopped working weekends, people still assumed I was working all the time.

Part of me got caught up in the idea that I should do my job with excellence, and that that meant I had to be at everyone's beck and call. And that meant I had to not be around for everything else that I "said" was important to me.

Even before K-Man came along, I knew I needed to review what I was doing compared to what I said was important to me. I knew things had to change. I tried to step back a little. I tried to commit to less. I tried to work fewer hours. But the firm needed to see performance. Law firms measure performance by the number of billable hours an attorney completes. I understand why. That's the economics of a law firm. I get why that is important to a law firm. But it's a crappy way to live. That drum beat never stops.

So it was time to quit pretending. It was time to go.

I don't know what is next, but I am enjoying exploring my options. I am looking at opportunities to work in-house as an attorney for a corporation. But I am also looking at things outside the legal world. I want to make the most of this opportunity to find something that fits me and fits what we need as a family. That may sound easy, but it's not. We are doing a lot of praying. And we are trusting the Lord to show us what's next.

Happy Birthday K-Man!!

2008-12-24T23:09:00.003-05:00

Today was K-Man's 3rd birthday. Three years ago on the 26th, we got an email about Keegan. An email. A freakin' email, people. When does someone learn about such a life-changing thing in an email. Anyway, today was three years on this planet for Keegan. This planet will never be the same.

Jen started a nice tradition last year of a birthday breakfast. We did that again this morning. Kee is very fond of biscuits, so Jen cooked some Pillsbury Grands in the oven for his special day. He loved it. We didn't have any candles, so we used some long matches instead. Three of them planted in a Grand. Pure celebration!

The last three years with Keegan have been beyond life-changing. I thought that I could love him like I do, but it feels different than I thought it would. When he engages me, I see and hear nothing else. Nothing penetrates my hard outer shell like that boy's voice.

Here's a snippet of a recent bed-time "conversation" with mom. We've gotten into a decent routine of reading books and praying and "kisses all together" (which is Jen and I kissing him on each cheek at the same time. The kid comes unglued with glee. Love unfettered.)

(Jen was reading a new book of Five Minute Devotionals that Kerri Barfield recommended. The story involved a penguin and patience.)

Jen: See the penguin there?

K-Man: It's Koko.

It looks like Koko, but it's not Koko.

I want to watch Koko.

No, we can't watch Koko now. Maybe later. See, the penguin is sitting on the egg.

He's poopin'.

No, he's sitting on the egg, like when we have breakfast.

I want egg. I'm hungry.

No, you're not hungry. You can eat tomorrow.

The moral of this story is that stories with morals don't really register with three-year-olds.

But dang, that boy is hilarious.

In case you don't happen to know the story about how we were blessed with Keegan, you can read the two-part story here:

Part one

Part two

R.I.P. Paul Benedict

2008-12-05T09:57:00.003-05:00

Before he was Bentley on The Jeffersons, Paul Benedict was the Mad Painter on Sesame Street.

This is one of my favorite Mad Painter shorts that I remember growing up as a kid.

R.I.P. Paul Benedict

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

2008-12-04T14:04:00.003-05:00

There is a scene towards the end of K-Man's currently favorite movie Polar Express where Santa is about to select one kid to receive the first gift of that Christmas. One of the kids (voiced by the same guy who played "Eugene Felnic" in Grease) obnoxiously tries to get Santa to bestow the honor on him with a Horshack-like chorus of "pick me! pick me! pick me!" Of course Santa doesn't pick him. He picks the boy who is quietly taking it all in as he comes to terms with Santa's existence. I much prefer to be that latter boy.

But I am in the midst of doing some networking that requires me to talk about how "great" I am, and I am suffering from some cognitive dissonance about the whole thing. The dissonance comes not from whether I really think I am that good. I do. It comes from a belief that going around telling everyone about how good you are (like a Big 12 South team trying to convince pollsters) is unappealing at best. It feels so fake. Rather than be the annoying guy asking to be picked, I'd prefer to let my work speak for itself and "get picked."

But I'm told it's not as passive a process as that. I need to actively sell what I can do and how I can benefit another organization. That's just sort of how it works. So I guess I have no choice. But to be believable, I need to find some level of congruence on what I believe about myself and the manner in which I convey that to others in this networking process.

Not a morning person?

2008-11-24T17:10:00.004-05:00

It's Monday, so I decided we needed more humor. I like getting into the office early, but not because I am a morning person necessarily. Don't judge me because I think this is funny. There's plenty of other stuff you can judge me for.

10,000

2008-11-22T21:03:00.003-05:00

In case you didn't notice, I missed a few days this week. OK, every day this week since Monday. My second year of NaBloPoMo is less then a success. I can live with that. This week has been crazy at work. Getting ready to file a brief and getting all the ducks in a row. Long days. No time or energy to write. But you don't want to listen to my excuses.

Despite my less than consistent posting, you guys keep dropping in here. In fact, this week, one of you was the 10,000th viewer of this electronic journal. I'm guessing that at least half of those views are people searching for new photos of K-Man. I don't blame you. Keep coming back because there'll be more of those. And thanks for dropping in.

Speaking of Kee, I think this is going to be a big year for him at Christmas. Not because he's all into the gift-getting. For the last few months, he and Jen have watched Polar Express about once a day. We watched it 1.5 times today. Of course what started the love affair with Polar Express was the train. In fact, it is still commonly referred to around the house as "Train Movie." But in the last few weeks, he's noticing the Christmas things in the movie -- especially the Christmas tree. We don't usually get our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, but this might be the year we do. Just to see Kee's eye light up as we walk through the Christmas tree forest (in the parking lot at White Water.)

Blogger ubiquity?

2008-11-17T12:05:00.004-05:00

More Monday humor:

21st Century Tribes

2008-11-17T06:11:00.003-05:00

I thought Monday should start with a little humor.

Just cheese

2008-11-15T23:10:00.003-05:00

Jen and K-Man have been out of town for a while. They will be home tomorrow, and I am looking forward to having them around again. I talked to them on the phone tonight. Kee was jumping on the bed looking at himself in the mirror while he was jumping. He does the same thing in his playroom. We have a mini-trampoline that he got for Christmas last year. He loves to jump on it and look at himself in the mirror. He seems to watch to see how high he's jumping and to see if he's jumping correctly. As long as he's staying on the tramp and not jumping off and crashing into one of the three train sets strewn about the room, I'd say that's "correct" enough.

Thinking about them coming home got me to thinking about a story from a few weeks ago. Keegan has been on a quesadilla kick for the last month or so. Rather than spend money at Moe's or Willy's on his occasionally favorite meal, Jen decided to just make them at home on the pancake griddle. Works like a charm by the way. The problem was that he was just eating tortillas and cheese. Needed some more nutrients. So Jen tried to sneak in some more nutritious substances. First, she tried to add some veggies with the cheese, thinking he wouldn't notice. Wrong. He took a bite and looked more closely at the assortment of quesadilla pieces on his plate and turned to Jen and said "no like." Busted.

Next, she tried to add some chicken. Now, he'll eat chicken from time to time. But apparently, he doesn't like that in his cheese quesadilla either.

Undeterred, Jen got some tofu, which is made from soy. Tofu is the food equivalent of that liquid metal stuff they made those next generation Terminators out of in Terminator 2. It can take whatever form you need it to. It's white, like some of the cheese in the mexican blend of shredded cheese we use for the quesadillas. When placed on a tortilla with shredded cheese and heated on a griddle, it blends fairly well with the melted queso. And it's tasteless, so it absorbs the cheese flavor. This one got by K-man's cheese-dar. Poor kid. Duped by his momma.

A few days later, I was home with Kee while Jen was running errands. It got to be dinner time, so I asked him what he wanted for dinner. This question doesn't yet generate a response containing a choice of entree. It seems to alert him that the parent will then rattle off a selection of options. To which he will respond "no." Or he will repeat the choice that he wants.

So knowing that he's on a quesadilla kick, I throw that one out first -- hoping that I can shorten the exercise of dinner selection. I say "do you want a quesadilla?"

"Quesadilla" he repeats.

"Do you want a quesadilla?"

"OK."

And as I'm walking from the pantry with the tortillas to the fridge to pull out the shredded cheese, he places his order: "Just cheese."

It's hilarious to me that the kid is aware that his mom is trying to sneak in foreign substances into his quesadilla thereby ruining the meal for him. "Yea, she calls it a 'quesadilla,' but I know she's slipping other stuff in there." And apparently, I'm guilty by association. Otherwise, he wouldn't feel the need to clarify his order with me.

So I grabbed the cheese out of the fridge and told him "Just cheese."

"OK." he shot back.

What is holding you back?

2008-11-14T21:25:00.004-05:00

What is holding you back?

I was talking to someone today, and this question came up. My problem is that the answer to that question has so many layers. I tend to overanalyze things. The phrase "paralysis by analysis" comes to mind to a certain extent. But that doesn't completely capture it. Some of what holds me back goes back to what I shared on Sunday. I tend to see obstacles and rather than take a shot at something different, I stick with what I know -- warts and all -- because there's a certain comfort in the known.

Now if I was talking to someone else who was thinking about what was holding them back, I would be encouraging them not to let doubts about the unknown prevent them from taking a chance on something that may better suit them. So why can't I give myself the same permission? Or why won't I give myself the same permission?

What holds you back?

Laundry night

2008-11-13T23:06:00.006-05:00

This is one of those stream of consciousness posts. Sorry.

I did a couple of loads of laundry tonight. A load of whites and a load of dark clothes. Why do white clothes get so dingy looking? We use bleach, so I don't get it.

There's a metaphor there, but I'm too tired to unwrap that one.

I have a team in a fantasy football league. Had a running back in tonight's Jets-Patriots game. He didn't do squat. Why tonight does Matt Cassell decide to throw for 400+ yards and do the Patriots give up on their running game? Why?!

The Atlanta Hawks are playing some very nice basketball. They are young, but they are playing very well as a team. They actually make me want to watch an NBA game ... and that never happens.

It's still college football season, but the Gators hoops team gets the season started tomorrow night in Gainesville. Tip-off is at 6:00 p.m. EST. ESPNU is providing coverage of that one. Check your local listings.

Speaking of the Gators. The Swamp welcomes back the Head Ball Coach and his South Carolina Gamecocks. The Gators have been on a roll. I expect to see Spurrier drawing up some ball plays from deep in his playbook. But I think the Gators will prevail. One game at a time. I can tell you that the Gators are not looking ahead to next week's game just yet. There will be time to get ready for The Citadel on Monday.

Will the St. Louis Cardinals regret not pulling the trigger on Matt Holliday and letting him get away to Oakland? Holliday would've been nice protection for Pujols.

I have a dentist appointment on Monday.

All right, my consciousness has been reduced to a trickle. And I need to fold the dark load before hitting the hay.

Talk to you tomorrow.

An end of relativism?

2008-11-12T10:10:00.002-05:00

I'm just asking the question. Tell me what you think after reading the article.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081112/D94D9Q1O3.html

Happy Veterans Day

2008-11-11T21:09:00.003-05:00

You didn't get mail today because it is Veterans Day -- not because you're unloved. Veterans Day started as a day to celebrate the Armistice signed after World War I. After The Great War needed a number and the Korean Conflict, a man in Kansas thought it was important to recognize all veterans. Congress agreed, and we began to celebrate Veterans Day every year on November 11th (the date of the Armistice signed at the end of the War to End All Wars).

Some wars are easier for people to justify, but every American who served in a war or conflict or police action or whatever deserves our gratitude for their sacrifices and their families' sacrifices. They served so we could enjoy the freedoms we take for granted. So today, I say to all of the veterans who are still with us and the millions who have come and gone, thank you.

Tomorrow

2008-11-09T20:15:00.005-05:00

I heard a good message this morning at church. David was talking about worry. I think most people worry about something from time to time. Some worry more than others, but we all worry about stuff at some point. I've heard messages about worry and specifically about the passage in Matthew 6:25 that David talked about today. This wasn't one of David's messages that opens a new perspective on the Word for me (but there have been a few of those). But it was a perfect message for where I am at the moment. I don't really want to share all of the details of that just yet, but suffice it to say, I could identify with the other people in the room today who identified themselves as "worriers."

Here's what I heard about worry today (that takes David off the hook if I screw up the paraphrase of his message). The Lord knows that we are prone to worry. But he wants us to know that he wants to take those burdens from us. He provides. He wants to provide. What that provision looks like for me or you or your friend or your co-worker or your classmate or your neighbor is different. But he knows what would work best, and he wants to provide. That doesn't mean we can just sit around and wait for that provision. We have our part to play. We have to work. Or we have to go to school. Or both. Maybe we have to pray. Maybe we need to ask for help. Maybe in verbalizing what it is that is worrying us we are admitting that it is bigger than us, and we need the Lord's help.

So why don't we take advantage of the Lord's desire to help? Well, if you're like me, you probably don't have faith that the Lord really will help you. I'm not saying I don't believe the Lord can help me. I do. I do because I've seen it before. In my own life. So if I've seen it before, why do I continue to doubt that he'd do it again? Why is my faith so ephemeral? (David didn't answer this question today, but it got me asking myself that question.)

I don't know the complete answer to that question, but saying that "I am just human" is a trite cop out. I know that I am way too self-reliant. I spend too much energy thinking about (read: "worry about") all the negative ends that could be reached instead of doing what I can do and trusting that the Lord will provide what I/we need.

David shared a couple of images today. One was God with a closed fist and us prying it open to get him to open his hands to us. That is the picture many of us have about making our requests to God when those things we worry about come to the surface. We think we have to convince God to open up to us. In fact, he's sitting there with his hands open already to give us what we need. If we'll ask. Without the faith that he can and will provide for us, we don't bother. How much faith is enough? A mustard seed's worth. (David's second image)

David actually had mustard seeds for us to hold to get a visual for the passage in Matthew 17:20 where Jesus commented to his disciples that if they had faith the size of a mustard seed, they could move a mountain. I don't know if I have that much faith, but I have enough to loosen my grip on the things that I cling too tightly.

So what I'm trying to do is hold onto a Matthew 6:34 perspective: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

A dog will eat anything

2008-11-08T09:05:00.004-05:00

So on Friday, I let our dog Murphy out to do her thing. Usually, that's a short maneuver or two for her, and she's back at the door waiting to be let back into her palatial estate. This time, however, she was gone for about 15 minutes, and when I went outside to check on her, she was nowhere to be seen. I waited a few minutes and went back outside to look for her. As I was walking around the side of the house, I heard her bark. She was walking back towards our house. Our neighbor was walking with her and with his dog. She saw me and started slinking back -- like she knew she had been gone too long and was in trouble.

Later, I put some food in a bowl for Murphy's dinner. But she didn't jump up and scarf it down like she usually does. This should have alerted me that something was awry with her digestive track (foreshadowing).

So after about another 30 minutes of ignoring her food, I heard that sound that no dog owner likes to hear. The sound of stomach muscles churning followed quickly by what sounds like a bucket of water pouring out on the rug. Only what Murphy deposited on the rug was not clear like water. And certainly didn't smell like water.

I turned to see the circle of heinous on the rug -- yes, on the rug. It was a chunky yellowy mess with what could have been a small dead animal carcass or another animal's former food and it smelled like both of those things. God awful.

I put Murphy outside on the porch in case there was more heinous waiting to make an encore. Thankfully, there was none.

Now the clean-up. I grabbed some rags and a garbage bag scooping up handfuls of Murphy's putrid discard. Fighting my gag reflex every bit of the way.

Then I threw cleaner after cleaner at it to kill any germs and -- please God -- to kill the stench!

Vinegar, Fabreze, Lysol, repeat.

I think that rug may be shot. It's going outside because the smell lingers.

Time for a little humor

2008-11-06T21:18:00.002-05:00

I thought with the seriousness of yesterday's post, we could use a little levity. I saw this guy the other day on YouTube. Funny stuff. His name is Jeff Caldwell.

I was fine

2008-11-05T21:42:00.003-05:00

In case you were in a coma, we elected a new President yesterday. The person I voted for didn't win. But I can appreciate the historical significance of the results. And, I admit, there is a part of me that is proud of this country for arriving at this moment -- even though I do not agree with the winner's philosophies.

And I was fine with where things stood until earlier this evening when I was driving home.

I was listening to NPR. Yes, I sometimes listen to NPR. I also read the New York Times (well, the online version). What better way to know how the other side thinks than to listen to and/or read their main media outlets?

So anyway, I was listening to NPR on the way home. Actually, I was listening to their program called Fresh Air. The host was interviewing Bill Moyers. Now Mr. Moyers was on the staff of Lyndon Johnson from 1963-67, serving as his Press Secretary from 1965-67. Mr. Moyers was serving with LBJ when he signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act in 1965. These are very important pieces of legislation in American history.

The host wanted to ask Mr. Moyers about his perspective on the election given his proximity to history in 1964 and 1965. In the course of the discussion, Mr. Moyers shared that after LBJ signed these two bills into law, he made the comment that "we just lost the South."

This was an obvious comment about the state of race relations in the South in the middle of the 1960s. We know what that decade looked like. We've seen the black-and-white footage. We've watched Mississippi Burning. Many of us -- if we're honest -- are embarrassed by that part of history. The country's history. The South's history. But that was more than 40 years ago.

The follow-up question from the host was whether he thought, given the election results, the South had moved past that. Past that decade. Past that comment from LBJ. Past those racist beliefs.

I was fine up until this moment.

Then Mr. Moyers gave his opinion.

He said that sadly, he thought the election results showed that the South had not moved past its racism. And he said that was reflected in all the red states on the map throughout the South. Like it was obvious from the mere fact that those states had not voted for Obama.

It's not possible that the majority of the voters in those states had serious concerns about Obama the man? Obama the candidate? Obama the guy who wouldn't be completely forthcoming about what he meant exactly by "change" but resorted to platitudes instead?

For Mr. Moyers to paint with such a broad brush is beyond offensive to me. Not to mention the millions of people -- IN THE SOUTH -- who voted for Obama. Mr. Moyers even commented that only 1 in 6 white Mississippians voted for Obama as evidence that they must have voted on the basis of race.

Worse, the host of Fresh Air just let Mr. Moyers' assumptions about the Southern voters sit out there. She never pushed back on the absurdity of his hypothesis. She never asked him if the fact that 9 out of 10 black voters voted for Obama meant they voted because of race. Or whether that was OK for some reason.

The notion that the South voted as a bloc against Obama because of his race is belied by the millions of Southerners who voted for the man -- not to mention by the results in Virginia and North Carolina.

What this really reveals is the underlying paradigm among the Democrats or liberals or left or whatever label you want to put on it. As long as you agree with their positions, you are enlightened or smart or sophisticated. Dare to question their positions or -- gasp -- oppose them, and you must be a blithering idiot. Oh, and a racist apparently.

It's a NyQuil night

2008-11-04T21:45:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I got a flu shot. I had never gotten a flu shot before, but my firm was offering them for free to all of the employees. So I thought, why not? They say it'll stave off an ailment that hits so many in the winter months. No fever. No aches. No cold sweats. No days of drinking Gatorade by the gallon.

Well, I don't think I have the flu. I sure as heck better not after putting up with that shot to my upper left arm. But I clearly have a cold. And as the day wore on today, it seemed to get worse despite the dosage of generic DayQuil that I took at mid-day.

And now, I think it's going to be a NyQuil night. It'll help me sleep and hopefully, it'll work on my scratchy throat and the annoying crud in my nose.

I guess it could be worse. I could also have the flu.

(NOTE: the Blogger spellchecker is fine with "NyQuil" but disapproves of "DayQuil.")

Goodnight Moon

2008-11-03T22:27:00.004-05:00

So we went to the Alliance Theater tonight for the opening night of their production of Goodnight Moon. This is one of K-Man's favorite books. He was on the edge of his seat the whole night. As an added bonus, when we were parking the car, we saw Grammy and Aunt T and a car-load of cousins emptying out.

Keegan loved the scenery, the story, and the songs. He could barely sit still ... and often didn't. More than once, the excitement was so much that he spun around jumping up and down looking at us like "can you believe how incredible this is? That's the great green room down there! That's the old lady whispering hush. Those are the three bears and their chairs! This is totally awesome!!) A couple times, I thought he was going to pogo himself right over the balcony he was so beside himself.

His eyes sparkled. He was mesmerized by it all. And when it was over, we walked up the stairs and out into the hallway where Keegan let out a bellowing "Goodnight Moon!"

It was a good night.

Halloween weekend highlights

2008-11-02T14:51:00.007-05:00

The Halloween weekend started with, uh, Halloween (hence the name). Keegan got things started with a party at school where he enjoyed pizza and Capri Sun. In case you're wondering, K-Man went as a penguin.

Then he got ready for the real Halloween festivities in the neighborhood.

Posed for a picture with his Aunt Nicole and Uncle Jonathan.

On Saturday, we had some friends over (all of whom were dog fans) to watch the annual Florida-Georgia game in Jacksonville (a/k/a the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party). I expected the game to be a Big 12 shootout with the winner being the last team with the ball. Fortunately, it didn't matter who had the ball at the end of the game ... or all of the fourth quarter for that matter. UF took advantage of some "timely" penalties by Georgia and Matthew Stafford auditioning for the Detroit Lions by throwing 3 interceptions. The final score was 49-10.

By the fourth quarter, John Mark, one of our UGA friends, had capitulated.

And decided to get a new tatoo.

On his forehead. See.

November to remember

2008-11-01T23:34:00.002-04:00

Well, my November got off on the right foot today. After a fun night of trick-or-treating last night with K-Man and his penguin costume, we had some friends over today to watch UF dismantle the Georgia Bulldogs and the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, Florida. The final score was 49-10, with Georgia scoring its lone touchdown very late in the 4th on a pass from the back-up QB.

November also means it's National Blog Posting Month. I participated last year, and I've felt the blog hangover all year. But I'm a glutton for punishment, so I am back at it again for 2008. So I will be making an effort to post every day this month. That's at least 30 posts this month. Chances are one or two of them will be worth reading. Maybe, it'll be a November to remember.

Goodnight Moon

2008-10-29T14:49:00.002-04:00

Coming to the Alliance Theater in November.

K-Man will be there.

Being in the world ...

2008-10-27T14:09:00.004-04:00

Switchfoot participated in the Music Builds Tour with Third Day, Robert Randolph and Jars of Clay for a 23-city coast-to-coast from August to mid-October. In December, they have 9 dates opening for 3 Doors Down -- a band that you will never hear on one of those mind-numbing, sugary-sweet, same-20-songs-in-the-rotation, Christian music radio stations.

I just think that is cool.

6 quirky things

2008-10-17T14:52:00.007-04:00

I have been tagged by h to share 6 quirky things about myself. The hard part is limiting the list to 6 because I have a long list of hang-ups, um, quirks. See how many you can find that fall into the Freudian column of "anal-retentive."

So without further ado:

1) I always blow my nose after I take a shower. First thing. Something about the heat of the shower just loosens up the nasal contents. And post-shower, they must be eliminated. If I reach for the shaving cream or razor before blowing my nose, this alarm goes off in my head telling me that things are amiss.

2) I don't use dressing on salads. Waiters always do a doubletake when I say "no dressing." You have no idea how many waiters or fellow patrons have recoiled and blurted "No dressing?" like I was choosing not to breathe.

3) The clock in my car is set 10 minutes fast. My alarm clock beside the bed and my watch are set 5 minutes fast. I hate being late. This helps prevent that. The clock in Jen's car is not set ahead. Oh, I'm not going there ....

4) When I get a new CD, I have to open it up as soon as I get in the car and listen to it. For the younger crowd that only downloads music, let me explain. See CDs are these things that were like records .... Wait, um, records were these things that you played on a record player with a needle .... Oh, nevermind.

5) I hate it when papers are stapled and the pages are not flush together in the corner where the staple is. When the pages are all messed up or fanned out and then stapled, it just looks like you don't care. People should care about how pages are stapled together. As an attorney, I deal with a lot of paper and a lot of stapled sets of paper. A while ago, my assistant copied some documents and put them in an envelope to send to a court and to opposing counsel. At the last minute, the client wanted to change something so we decided to wait a day to send the documents, so we held back the copies that had been made. I took the envelopes from my assistant to avoid inadvertent mailing (shut up, I confessed my anal-retentivism above. It could happen. Why not prevent it if you have the chance?) So the next day, on a lark, I opened the envelopes just to see what she was planning to send. The stapling was atrocious. (Yes, stapling can be atrocious people.) Fanned pages just stapled. FANNED! Then I flip over the document to see that the copies had come out of the copier that way (you can tell this because the staples from the copier close differently then that double-humpbacked way they do on your traditional Swingline model.) So, I'd identified a lack of attention to detail but maybe not a stapling deficiency on the part of my assistant. The documents in the court's copy were the same way. Not acceptable. You think I'm anal-retentive. You don't want to cross a judicial version of anal-retentive. Trust me. So I walk over to my assistant and show her one of the copies with the crazy stapling. You know what she says? "Yea, I saw that."

Don't tell me that! You saw that these things were coming out of the copier all cock-eyed, but you just threw them in the envelope anyway? At least fake ignorance. So I nicely tell her that we cannot send out copies that look like this even if they come off the copier like that. This sends an impression of me, the other attorney on the case, and the firm in general. No can do. (I didn't actually say "no can do" -- THAT would sound so condescending.)

6) For all my anal-retentiveness, I keep a messy office. At work and at home. I just pile things up and work on what's at the top. When things from the bottom or middle of the pile require attention, they get moved to the top. See, look for yourself:

So those are 6 of many quirks. Now, I get the opportunity to pick others to provide 6 quirks about themselves. I tag Randel, Caroline, John Mark, Sean, and Matt.

VP Debate Humor

2008-10-02T17:34:00.003-04:00

As a warm-up to tonight's VP debate, a little humor . . .

Where did September go?

2008-09-29T09:00:00.004-04:00

Seems like I just wrote about the start of the college football season, and now we're 4 games into the season already. Tough week for my Gators and all the dog fans in the area. The Gators fumbled away a chance to stay in the top 5. Instead, another loss to a mid-table team from the SEC West. At least we never fell behind 31-0 during the game. Ouch. Credit to the dog fans for not racing out of Sanford Stadium at half time -- like the Volunteer fans did in Knoxville the week before.

We took Keegan to the Southern Museum of Civil War and Locomotive History on Saturday. The kid is obsessed with trains at the moment -- especially Thomas the Train. We wound our way through the museum waiting to get to the ultimate prize -- The General. Fully restored and resting in its own room in the museum. Trains are large pieces of machinery when viewed outside. When resting in a building, their size is enhanced by the surrounding walls. It sure freaked out K-Man when he turned the corner to see the imposing General staring back at him. Never felt the kid squeeze my hand so hard as we slowly walked around the train. Eventually, he got comfortable with the size of the train and realized that it wasn't going to take off through the building. He even asked to see it again before we left the museum store. The morning was topped off with several passes through the Thomas the Train jump ride set up outside the museum. The train stamp on his hand was a bonus.

Yesterday, Keegan and I endured Jen singing "Hail to the Redskins" from about 4:00 to 7:30 as she watched her beloved Skins get a win on the road in Dallas against their biggest rival. Jen was teaching Kee to yell "Go Redskins" and I was teaching him to yell "No Singing!!" every time Jen started with the fight song. (Not quite as annoying as "Rocky Top" ... but close.)

I have declared the official start to fall. Fall officially begins when I grow the goatee back. Shaved the goatee in last night.

College Football Is Finally Here!!!

2008-08-29T22:48:00.005-04:00

The 2008 season officially kicked off on Thursday night, but the season really launches in earnest on Saturday. Saturdays in the fall are college football. Many things to look forward to. First, of course, are my Gators. The Gators feature the reigning Heisman Trophy winner -- and apparently off-season circumcisor -- in Tim Tebow. Tebow is the first sophomore ever to win the award that goes to the best player in Division I. Tebow is also the first college quarterback to rush for 20 TDs and throw for 20 TDs. The thing about that stat is that it really understates Tebow's year, because Tebow really is the first QB to rush for 20 TDs and throw for 30 TDs. I do not expect Tebow to have the same statistical success this season. Mainly because I think the team has better RBs behind him this year who will take some of those carries and TDs from him. Look for RB Emmanuel Moody -- the Texas high school prospect and transfer from USC -- to leave his mark this season. (By the way, Moody wants to be a pastor too. Tebow and Moody would make a heckuva flag football tandem for Campus Crusade, no?)

The real key to UF's season is improved play on defense. Based on preseason -- which means virtually nothing -- the UF secondary has been making plays instead of trying not to make mistakes. The result has been much improved play in scrimmages. Hopefully that translates on the field when the games count. I think the D-line will be improved too. Another season older. And bigger. And stronger. Some new ideas from a new D-line coach may help inject some life as well. So Tebow's stats are down, but the Gators win 10 or 11 in the regular season.

I have several UGA fans who read and/or stalk this blog, so I would be remiss if I didn't say something about their beloved pups. First, thank you for taking the #1 preseason spot -- and the pressure that comes with it. Next, I'm still not convinced that Stafford is the guy. Yes, he played very well in Jax last year. But Moreno controlled that game as much as anyone. He needs to improve his completion percentage and lower the INTs to take that team where the voters think it should be at the end of the season. I'm also not listening to the ... stuff ... about the tough schedule either. In 2006, the Gators ran a similar gauntlet of teams on the way to the SEC title and BCS championship. If you win 'em, you'll deserve the title. If not, well then I suspect you'll whine about the really hard schedule and all its unfairness. Woe is you.

Can't talk about the start of the season without acknowledging the strong possibility that Ohio State will end up in the BCS game for the third season in a row. They return almost the whole team from last year and have more than 40 fourth- and fifth-year players. That's a lot of leadership. (Or a lot of guys who know how to choke away title games -- depending on your point of view.) But let's face it, OSU has one tough game at USC that they could win if for no other reason than USC's starting QB is in his first year as the guy and is returning from a knee injury in preseason practice. Plus this may be the first year in this run of Pete Carroll teams where the offensive stars are not there. The stars on that team are on defense. OSU has guys on both sides of the ball. OSU's RB, Wells, is probably better than Knowshon Moreno because he's got one more year of experience and is bigger than Knowshon. Wells could pass 2000 yards this season if he stays healthy. After USC, I guess OSU has "tough" games with Wisconsin and Illinois. Some would argue Michigan too (well, Brent Musburger would), but this is a year when Michigan should not be an issue because RichRod is completely revamping how the Wolverines play offense.

There are many more things to touch on. Can Bo Pellini bring back the Black Shirts in Lincoln? Can Paul Johnson win in the ACC with that triple-read Wing-T offense of his? How will Tommy Bowden find a way to squander Clemson's chance to win the ACC this year? Will ESPN ever put us out of our misery and retire Lou Holtz? PLEASE!!! Feel free to discuss these or raise a few more in the comments.

(I am watching the SMU game as I type this. Really enjoying June Jones getting waxed by the Owls of Rice. Too bad he won't be on the visiting sideline tomorrow in the Swamp when Hawaii faces the Gators. Really wish he could see UF's "system quarterback" shred his alma mater.)

Nourish

2008-08-11T21:32:00.008-04:00

I am switching up the playlist on the blog for a while. This is a collection of songs that I have labeled "Nourish." I've had this list for a while but decided the time was right to add it. Given some of my experiences in Scotland and some other things I/we are praying about, this list is resonating with me right now. I figured why not share it with the handful of people who visit the site? Be nourished.

(Photo: sunset over Paisley, Scotland)

Funny moment in Scotland

2008-08-05T10:15:00.004-04:00

The day after we arrived in Scotland, we took a trip to Edinburgh. Saw a good deal of the Edinburgh Castle and the Royal Mile. However, a couple of our team members (Austin and Marni) came over late and missed the Edinburgh day. After they arrived, we were focused on camp preparations and then camp itself. The Saturday after camp was scheduled as a much-needed day of rest with no responsibilities. However, Austin and Marni were wanting to get some sightseeing in before boarding the plane back for the States (they had to leave early too). They asked me if I wanted to join them in Edinburgh for the day on Saturday since I had already been there and could serve a pseudo-guide (talk about the blind leading the blind, but I agreed).

Austin and Marni were going to hitch a ride with Tom and Leigh Ann Fraley who were driving over to the Edinburgh area to look for a place to live (Tom was the camp speaker). All 5 of us were dropped off at the Glasgow airport on Saturday morning so Tom could pick up his rental car. He rented a Vauxhall, but the one they set aside for him had a flat, so he got upgraded to a Saab. After a couple of circles around several airport roundabouts, we managed to find the M8 to Edinburgh and off we went in our blue Saab. (Let me say, I wasn't driving the car, but it could go! And it was a much smoother drive than the van ride we took the previous week over the same stretch of Scottish highway.) We made it from Glasgow to the Edinburgh city centre (that's the Scottish spelling by the way) in about an hour and 15 minutes. (Like I said, the Saab could go, and Fraley was not afraid of testing it's ability to transport us quickly -- while always observing the posted speed limits of course.)

So then we walked around Edinburgh checking out the usual sites. We got rained on. Marni and Austin tested the fried Mars bar at a fish-n-chips shop on the Royal Mile. We purchased some souvenirs. Ate lunch at a pub that turned out to have a rather Bennigan-ized menu, although over there the bacon cheeseburger comes with what Americans might refer to as Canadian bacon. Much different experience that. And then it was time to meet the Fraleys to head back to the camp outside Paisley for dinner. When we neared Paisley, we called the camp to see where everyone was. A group of people had gone to ASDA to buy some food items to take home as souvenirs.

(Aside: ASDA traces its history to the 1920s from two separate enterprises: a family-owned butcher shop and a cooperative of sorts of dairy farmers. Today, however, ASDA is part of the Wal-Mart family, and it looks very much like a mini-Wal-Mart Supercenter inside with a green color scheme instead of the Wal-Mart blue. The running joke in Scotland is that "ASDA" stands for "Americans Stealing Dollars Abroad." Regardless, ASDA had a great selection of biscuits (cookies), crisps (potato chips), shortbread fingers and tea that made great gifts for people.)

So we stopped at ASDA to pick up some more souvenirs. After finishing there, we decided to drive back to the camp. But we really didn't know the way, and we didn't have a Paisley map to guide us. So Fraley and I winged it. We'd driven from the camp into Paisley several times over the week; we figured we could feel our way back. So on we went. We took a couple of turns that looked familiar. We knew that the camp was up on the hills above Paisley towards the east. So we took a right on a road that sorta looked familiar and appeared to take us in that general direction. After driving a little while though, it was clear that this was not the road we wanted.

I saw a fish-n-chips shop and told Fraley to let me out. I'd go in and ask directions back to the camp. I jumped out and ran in. There was a tall, thin older gentleman at the counter waiting for his order and a couple working behind the counter frying away; looked like a father and daughter. I waited at the counter for a spell waiting for the owner to look up from his fryer. He did, and I asked him if he could tell me how to get back to the Lapwing Lodge scout camp just outside Paisley. He'd never heard of it. No problem. The older gentleman said "where?" I repeated the Lapwing Lodge scout camp. "Oh! You're miles away!!" he belted in a classic Scottish drawl. But then he proceeded to give me what seemed like simple directions back to the where we needed to be. All the while, I had his comment repeating in my head (You're miles away!! You're miles away!! You're miles away!!) while trying to retain the directions he'd given.

So I exited the establishment and looked for Fraley's blue car (with You're miles away!! banging away in my brain along with the directions.). Where's the blue car? There's the blue car. So I jog across the street up to the passenger door of the blue car and jump in yelling "You're miles away!!" as I sit down.

Then a woman says to me: "You're in the wrong car!!!"

And I look up flashing to the woman; then to the back seat where 2 other ladies are seated; and then to the blue Saab in front of this blue car where Austin and Marni are plastered to the rear window laughing about as hard as anyone can without pulling their diaphragm. I blurt out, "I am SO sorry!" and jump up out of the car walking to the blue Saab that is now rocking (literally) because of the 4 adults inside it laughing hysterically.

I get in and wait while the 4 of them regain their composure. Fraley shares that he saw me cross the street and wondered "What is Bill doing getting in that car?" Then it dawned on me that I was fairly lucky. Thankfully, I did not jump into the car of some 300-pound guy who punched me in the face BEFORE telling me I was in the wrong car. And it was also to my advantage that none of the women in the car were armed with mace because that would've really put a damper on an otherwise fine day.

Eventually, things returned to normal, and we drove back towards Paisley. But in all the commotion, we were unable to take advantage of the directions I'd received. We had to call Lance to get additional directions. We made it home for dinner though, and we shared our adventure with everyone else. Who, as you can imagine, laughed heartily.

Glad I could oblige.

My Personal Scotland

2008-07-28T18:00:00.004-04:00

I've been back since Wednesday afternoon but haven't really had time to sit down and let you know how my time in Scotland went. In sum, in was a good trip. (Ask Jen what I mean generally when I say something is "good.")

Scotland has a long tradition of revival and awakenings. In my own life, I've had revival moments where my walk with the Lord seemed perfectly in step. Over the last few decades, Scotland has not enjoyed that and many are praying for another revival or awakening (or a series of them) to overrun the nation. And for the last several years, my own walk with the Lord has been in need of an awakening -- a return to right relationship with God.

Over my 2 weeks in Scotland, I had the privilege of working with a group from my church on a mission trip to Scotland to present a youth camp for about 37 students from all over Scotland. In trying to show these kids what a relationship with the Lord is about and all that it entails, the Lord has spoken to me anew. I've been reminded what my first priority should be -- and why. The Lord says I am the way, the truth and the life. He said He came so that we may have life and have it abundantly or life to the fullest.

That abundant life has been missing from my daily life for quite a while. In fact, I often wondered if I'd ever experience it again. Over the last 2 weeks, the Lord showed me there is no need to wonder. He is available. He is present. He is waiting to hear from me regularly. He wants me to learn His voice. And I want and need all of that as well.

Now I've known those things for going on 22 years. But the workaday world -- with its stresses and responsibilities and distractions -- piled layers upon layers on my heart that made it easier and easier to forget the importance and power that comes with a life in tune with the Lord's desires for me.

We shared with the students on this trip that the Lord has a plan for their lives. That He loves them. That He pursues them. That they are special in His eyes. And the more I shared that with the students, the more the Lord said the same things to me. And that felt so good. As it washed over my spirit.

Many students in Scotland struggle with feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. In fact, Scotland as a whole struggles with these strongholds. Over the last 5+ years, I've been in my personal Scotland -- thinking I could never overcome the struggles in my life and wondering where the way out is -- if there even was one. Over this time in Scotland though, the Lord showed me that my situation is not hopeless, and I am not worthless. And my heart is awakening at the reality of that.

Scotland Bound

2008-07-09T16:03:00.002-04:00

I know it's been a while since I posted, and now I'm posting from the Newark airport to tell you that I am going out of town and that it may be a while before I can post again. I am headed over to Scotland on a mission trip with my church. We will be putting on a summer camp for about 40 middle- and high-school age kids for a church that we have developed a relationship with. Pray that I have the energy to keep up with the youngsters on our team and at the camp. I can remember being that age, but it feels like a really long time ago.

I will try to get on here -- wireless connection permitting -- to post some updates about my perspective of the trip. However, if you want to catch up with how the team is doing, you can go the Scotland Team blog throughout the next 2 weeks to see how we are getting along.

Day of Days

2008-06-06T09:25:00.003-04:00

64 years ago today thousands of U.S. soldiers descended on Normandy and the surrounding beaches in the name of freedom. We should always remember those soldiers -- today especially.

Here is a glimpse of what those first moments were like for a group from Easy Company in the 101st Airborne Division. These guys trained in Toccoa, Georgia before leaving for England.

Celebrating 15 years . . . in Los Angeles

2008-05-16T10:20:00.003-04:00

Jen and I were married fifteen years ago this month. To celebrate, I thought it was important to do something special. I mean, she's special. She's even more special for putting up with me for the past fifteen years through two graduate programs -- in completely different fields -- and the debt that comes with such (perhaps ill-guided) decisions. So in December, I contacted Jen's college roommate about the idea of using this occasion to surprise Jen with a trip to L.A. to visit her since they hadn't seen each other since the move to L.A. about a year ago.

First, I had to secure the services of someone to watch Keegan. No offense to the little guy, but mom and dad need some mom and dad time if you know what I mean. And K-Man doesn't fit that plan. So I clandestinely contacted Jen's parents about watching Kee. They agreed. Then I had to pick a date. I tried to get it planned around our anniversary date, but my sister had the audacity to schedule her nuptials for the weekend that fit that. No problem. I'm flexible. I found another weekend that fit. And made sure that worked for our friends in sunny Californ-I-A. It did. Plan moves forward.

On Valentine's Day, I told Jen that I had a trip planned for our anniversary. I told her I'd reserved a place at Amelia Island. (Why Amelia Island? Because I knew there was no way that I could pack secretly for Jen. So I told her a beach location that she could pack clothes that worked for L.A. too.) I also told her that she couldn't go online to search out stuff to do and start researching the area; I would plan everything for us. She agreed. I told her that her parents had agreed to watch K-Man while we were gone too.

Then we just had to wait 3 freaking long months. In that time, we had a family emergency with Jen's grandmother and there was a question of whether our babysitting arrangements would hold. But they did.

Finally, the day arrived. We left for the airport yesterday morning. We got in line at the check-in kiosk at the airport. I upgraded us to first class (because I knew how long the flight was going to be and the option was there). Jen didn't notice the kiosk screen's indication of the arrival site of our flight. Then we got in line to check our bags. The guy took the printed tags and wrapped them around our bags. Jen noticed the "LAX" on the tags and said "those say LAX on them."

"I know," I replied.

Nothing.

We walked on to security. I handed Jen her boarding pass -- which prominently displays "Los Angeles, CA" on it. But we passed through security without any cavity checks and without Jen bothering to read her boarding pass.

On the train, I tell Jen that I upgraded to first class. Jen says "I wish the flight was 5 hours long to enjoy that."

"I bet you do."

We get to the gate. Still Jen is oblivious. I make a point of looking at the gate board and saying, "looks like we're supposed to leave at 9:25." "OK" Jen says without looking up to see where this 9:25 flight is going.

As we are sitting waiting for the flight, Jen says "so are we flying into Jacksonville?"

(I realize this probably is going to be my only chance to finally spring this surprise on her.)

"No" and I hand her the boarding pass . . . again.

After a few seconds, it registers what she's reading.

And all of the effort to get to that look on her face was worth all the wait.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2008-04-28T23:01:00.004-04:00

As promised, here are the song stylings of K-Man! This will make your heart smile.

Catching up with K-Man

2008-04-26T20:52:00.002-04:00

Keegan is growing like a weed. He no longer resembles the baby he once was. His legs seem to get longer and leaner every day. We walked up to the Jonquil Festival today with Kee in the stroller, and his legs were practically hanging off the front. Thursday night Kee's school had an art show, and we were treated to Kee's interpretation of a pig and a pumpkin. Clearly, he is not wedded to the realism of Winslow Homer. But his enthusiasm comes through nonetheless.

K-man's athletic interests continue. He bounces from the basketball hoop to the tee-ball set and back again. Jen's parents were in town this week and picked up a small soccer ball for him too, so we'll be able to work on some kicking too.

Keegan has also treated us with a tune. His song of choice? Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It's priceless. (We'll have to get video of that to share.)

We do have video of Keegan at the keyboard. He enjoys when Jen plays ragtime pieces, but he also gets on the keys and works on his finger technique all the time. See for yourself.