To make friends now requires something different. At this stage in life, I have to choose to be friends with someone. That is, I have to want to invest in their lives and want to give them access to my life on some deeper level. Making friends requires energy. I don't generate energy by being with others. That tends to sap my energy. Thus, I tend to limit those situations that require energy expenditure. What's the point if I can't truly engage?
I've discovered that as I age -- and I am definitely aging -- my circumstances or my life does not provide me with as many situations that make "friend-making" easy. If I want to develop a new friendship, I have to make a positive step in that direction. Generally, I find that step to be a positive one, but I tend to be cautious in extending my friendship web because I know that I have somewhat limited energy resources. And why bother if I'm not going to really invest in the relationship?
I don't share this for anyone to believe that I think they should think it special if I count them my friend. I know that I am lucky to have the friends that I have. I hope not to ruin any potential new friendships that I am developing. I've just noticed that developing friendships is far harder than it was when life forced me into proximity with others that I wanted/needed as friends.
Here's to deepening relationships in 2011. Here's to you developing real friendships in the coming months. (I plan to share what I believe to be the earmarks of a "real friendship" in future posts.)
6 comments:
...quite profound. I actually share your sentiments and have often wondered why I've had less "new" friendships than the several I've made in my younger years. Keep writing!
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