A dog will eat anything

So on Friday, I let our dog Murphy out to do her thing. Usually, that's a short maneuver or two for her, and she's back at the door waiting to be let back into her palatial estate. This time, however, she was gone for about 15 minutes, and when I went outside to check on her, she was nowhere to be seen. I waited a few minutes and went back outside to look for her. As I was walking around the side of the house, I heard her bark. She was walking back towards our house. Our neighbor was walking with her and with his dog. She saw me and started slinking back -- like she knew she had been gone too long and was in trouble.

Later, I put some food in a bowl for Murphy's dinner. But she didn't jump up and scarf it down like she usually does. This should have alerted me that something was awry with her digestive track (foreshadowing).

So after about another 30 minutes of ignoring her food, I heard that sound that no dog owner likes to hear. The sound of stomach muscles churning followed quickly by what sounds like a bucket of water pouring out on the rug. Only what Murphy deposited on the rug was not clear like water. And certainly didn't smell like water.

I turned to see the circle of heinous on the rug -- yes, on the rug. It was a chunky yellowy mess with what could have been a small dead animal carcass or another animal's former food and it smelled like both of those things. God awful.

I put Murphy outside on the porch in case there was more heinous waiting to make an encore. Thankfully, there was none.

Now the clean-up. I grabbed some rags and a garbage bag scooping up handfuls of Murphy's putrid discard. Fighting my gag reflex every bit of the way.

Then I threw cleaner after cleaner at it to kill any germs and -- please God -- to kill the stench!

Vinegar, Fabreze, Lysol, repeat.

I think that rug may be shot. It's going outside because the smell lingers.