NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 26 -- Long Day

Today was a weird one. It started last night. After a long Thanksgiving Day filled with a gluttonous amount of food and drink, we came home a little after 8:00 pm. I probably should've gone to bed then. Instead, I fell asleep downstairs for a couple of hours. Then, of course, I couldn't fall asleep. I watched most of the movie Radio. I'd never seen it. Decent flick.

Eventually, I went to bed in the wee hours of the night/morning.

K-Man was up a little after 7:00 this morning. Jen leaned over and asked if I "wanted" to get up with him. As opposed to what? Sleeping for a few more hours? Sure, I'd love to get up. I knew Jen wasn't feeling well, so I didn't mind getting up to give her some more hours of shut-eye.

Kee did a great job "playing quietly" downstairs so he didn't wake up Mommy. And Jen managed to get several more hours of sleep, but she struggled most of the day with the crud. Similar to the crud I had the other day, but maybe a little more flu-like. We'll see.

Jen stayed up for a few hours before taking some more Nyquil. The Nyquil required a nap. Keegan always "gets" whatever Jen has, so when she said she needed to nap because she wasn't feeling well, Kee said he needed to rest too because he had a cold too. Kee laid down, but only lasted about an hour. Jen was out for over three.

When Keegan woke up, we planned a trip to the Thrashers game tonight, but I told him not to tell Mommy -- because she was still sleeping, and I didn't want him to wake her up.

Just as we were about to leave for the game, Jen woke up and came downstairs. The first words out of K-Man's mouth were: "We're going to the Thrashers game."

And after two beats, he added "but I'm not supposed to tell."

Priceless.

We headed downtown for a little pre-game Chick-Fil-A at CNN Center before the game. Here's Kee working on his last chicken nugget:

We lasted the usual two (of three) periods because Keegan was ready to leave. We had a little incident in the restroom, so I had to introduce Kee to the freedom of "going commando." He adjusted well. Better than I thought he would. He can be rather particular about his clothes. I think the fact that he was wearing his fleece-lined jeans made the transition a little easier.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 23 -- Turning Points

Life is full of turning points. Some we enjoy. Some we don't.

Some might say that the best turning points are those that lead to productive or positive changes and require the least blood, sweat and tears.

I'm not sure that I fall in that camp.

For me, it takes the adversity for the lessons that come at the turning points to make the appropriate impression on me. I can be thick like that.

Jen and I have been praying for something the last few years and that intensified over the last few weeks. The time spent over that time has been great for us, because it's put a number of things in perspective. Some we took for granted. Some we just needed to do better.

Today, we learned about another turn in this journey. Not so much a turn as another closed door. We've encountered a number of closed doors over this stretch. As noted above, I can be thick, so I kept looking for similar doors to open. So far, all of them have been closed.

Several months ago, Jen and I sensed that we needed to try a completely different door. I've been resistant for a number of reasons that don't need to be fleshed out here. At least not yet. But after today's news, I can no longer deny the need to stop focusing on the doors I've been focusing on and need to consider others. Doors close over and over for a reason. I'm starting to see that now.

I took a step in the new direction today with a simple email. No response yet, but sending the email itself was another turning point.

And we are trusting that the faithful and obedient step of sending a simple email may be enough to overcome the inertia that exists and open the next door for us.

Stay tuned.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 26 -- Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving Day is all but done. We had a good one, but a long one as usual. Made it to the gym this morning to work off 500+ calories to credit my gastronomic account for later. Made my oatmeal chocolate chips cookies as is our custom. They turned out well. (For those who care, I start with the Nestle Toll House recipe and add additional sugar, brown sugar and flour to make it a drier mix, plus the oatmeal to add a notion of healthiness.)

My youngest sister (Nicole) and her husband (Jonathan) came over to the house for dinner. Jonathan cooked the turkey at our house. Turned out very good. We made a ham because I'm not that fond of turkey. The ham was nice and will make some great sandwiches for the next several days -- maybe even a western omelet if I'm feeling particularly adventurous one morning. Nicole made her favorite side dish: green bean casserole. Jonathan also made his mom's dressing which was a solid compliment to the proteins on the table (That's how they refer to the meat selections on Top Chef. Nothing is "fish" or "pork" or "beef." They're all "proteins."). K-Man was his finicky self. He had a bite of ham, a bite of green bean casserole, a bite of dressing. He did eat a heaping portion of baked sweet potato though. With how much energy that kid uses throughout the day, it is a wonder he doesn't collapse from lack of fuel given his bird-like eating habits. Of course, he was all over the chocolate chips cookies. And they do have oatmeal in them, so he's fine.

I guess I can't write a "Thanksgiving" post without the obligatory "I'm thankfuls." So here goes.

This has been quite a year for us. There is much to be thankful for. I am thankful for:

-- My family. For Jen who has encouraged me throughout the year as we work to get the law practice off the ground. For Kee who has regularly reminded me why I want to be at home more to see him grow and develop and live his life. Our parents who have supported our decision to make more time for our family.

-- My friends. Who have listened to me for hours as I wade through the rough waters of starting a business. Who have challenged me to be a better husband, father, friend, and person, including the friends I've made in Scotland over the last two summers.

-- My Lord. This year has been one of constant reliance on my Lord. I've been given a lot of talents, but that doesn't always translate into huge success. But we've always had what we need. Not always at the time we would've preferred it, but when we had to have it. I'm thankful for the relationship that I have with Jesus because it adds a covering of peace when the winds of anxiety are blowing all around.

-- Freedom. The sacrifices made by military veterans and those in uniform today serving all over the world to defend our democracy. We can have blogs like this and write about just about anything because of the freedom those men and women fight to maintain.

-- Many otherwise mundane things. Tivo -- the ability to freeze television is nothing short of miraculous. My laptop -- the freedom to do work on my computer at a coffee shop, the lake, the library, or Scotland makes life a lot easier. 24-hour fitness centers -- the freedom to work-out at any hour -- even when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. Costco -- because it wouldn't be right not to be appreciative of a place that sells stamps, tires, baby wipes, half-gallons of salsa, and cheese cakes the size of a stop sign all under the same roof!

There are a multitude of other things -- serious and humorous -- for which I am thankful. And they all remind me that I am incapable of living this life on my own. Never stop reminding me of that.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 25 -- Thanksgiving Prep

So tonight, I was at home prepping for Thanksgiving. What does that mean? Well, Jen was out wrapping up some piano lessons and then having coffee with a friend. So, I had K-Man Duty.

Now, when you're married and you have kids of your own, you no longer engage in "babysitting" when it involves your own kid. That's just parenting or "watching your kid." But I digress.

I fed Keegan and bathed him. Read a nice story about Jesus calming the storm and said our prayers. Then, I collected the laundry and started separating. Now, I know how to do laundry -- contrary to Jen's opinion. I started with what we call "work-out clothes" because they're all polyester, washed on cold, and Jen thinks they're the hardest for me to mess up. Got that load washed, dried and folded. Then I started the whites. Threw in a good dose of bleach too. Got that load washed and in the dryer. Then I washed the jeans and gray sweat shirts and t-shirts. She can't possibly complain about my efforts to minimize any potential damage I could cause.

When Jen got home, she immediately took note of the laundry in progress. She was skeptical. I encouraged her to be thankful ... because it's Thanksgiving. Sheesh. She asked why I insist on doing laundry. I repeated, just be thankful. I described the loads that had been done already. She rifled through the remaining piles on the floor without audibly disapproving of their respective contents. Then, she noticed a couple of sweaters of hers set aside in their own pile. I'm not stupid. When garments feel that soft and are not made of man-made fibers, I know better than to lump them in with my sweatshirts and boxers -- even if they all are "dark." (Which really means I remember a prior discussion -- or four -- about how certain items of hers can't be washed with my boxers even if they are the same color!)

Every Thanksgiving, I cook chocolate chip cookies as well. I've set out the ingredients on the counter but haven't decided whether I will mix everything up and leave the baking until morning or just do everything in the a.m. I think I'll just wait until morning and keep sipping on my cocktail while Jen looks at train sets on the web for possible gifts for Kee.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 4 - Deep Water

In mid-July, I helped co-lead a mission trip to Scotland with our church. This was a return trip for me, but a new leadership role. Even with the added responsibilities, it was a great trip made better because Jen came with us this year. I enjoyed introducing her to my Scottish friends and vice versa, and now they are her friends as well.

I had several questions from people about why there might be a need for a mission trip to Scotland. Many hear "mission trip" and associate that with third-world countries where clean water is a luxury or in remote areas where the Christian faith is a stranger. There are plenty of mission trips to those areas. Our trips to Scotland involve providing a summer camp for middle- and high-school-age students where we try to create an atmosphere where they can learn what the Lord thinks about them and the plans He has for their lives; an atmosphere where they can ask questions; an atmosphere where they can unashamedly worship; an atmosphere where their concerns about their level of acceptance at school or at home doesn't determine anything about their standing in life. We partner with a small church outside Glasgow that has a huge heart for the students in the area and across the country but doesn't have a budget to match.

The church in Cobb County that sends us to Scotland has a summer camp each year for hundreds of our students and their friends. That camp has been going on for over 30 years. We attempt to capture the spirit of that camp and pack it up in Rubbermaid bins and fly it over the Atlantic with us. We spent the better part of 6 months meeting and planning and praying for our 11-day trip this year. The Scotland camp included about 35 Scottish students this year. Our theme was Deep Water, and we wanted to challenge the students to go deeper in their faith; to trust the Lord more deeply; to get to know Him in a deeper way.

This was the third year of the camp -- although just my second year on the trip. Some of the students have been to all 3 camps, and there were several new students who came this year because of the changes they observed in their friends who had come the year before.

We had a team of about 22 people this year -- about half of which were high school students from our church's youth group. One of the highlights for me each year has been watching our high school students model their relationships with the Lord for the Scottish students. Any number of the adults on the team can talk to the students about ways to deepen their relationships with the Lord, but when it comes from a peer, it's just different. I love watching that happen.

As a co-leader this year, I spoke during the morning sessions Monday to Thursday. I am not a preacher, but I felt like there was something that the Lord wanted me to share with the students each day. Months before we left, I had thought I would be sharing a certain group of talks, but as the trip approached, I kept feeling that there were some other things that the Lord wanted me to share. When we left for Scotland, I had 1 talk and 2 outlines for 4 messages (that doesn't add up for those of you reaching for your abacus). That meant for some long nights of writing and very short nights of sleep. But, in the end, I think the talks went well.

Before we left in July, we had already decided on the dates for the 2010 camp, and within a week of our return, the camp had been booked for our trip for next year. I am looking forward to going back, although I'm not sure if Jen will join us again. The 11-day separation from K-Man was quite a lot to ask of her. As much as we would love to bring him over with us (and our Scottish friends have encouraged us to do just that), the pace of camp just doesn't mesh well with a then-four-year-old (regardless of how cute he is).

As we did last year, at the end of camp, we tried to capture camp in video form. The highlight reel is provided below. The four student testimonies at the end are worth listening too. There are some accents to cope with, but I encourage you to try and hear what they have to say.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 2 -- Halloween and the Pumpkin Patch

Last night I promised some pictures from Halloween. Our little Buzz Lightyear. K-Man's first Halloween, he went as Hulk. That may be the last time that he didn't complain about wearing a costume -- probably because he wasn't verbal enough to express his displeasure. Oh, were that the case now!

Kee has embraced the cheesiest of smiles when asked to smile for pictures. It is on full display below. His best smiles are when he's laughing. He hasn't learned the art of smiling on queue like his mom.

Out on the street. Going to the 7 houses that he could last in the costume.

Back home to hand out candy to the kids who stayed in their costumes in pursuit of tooth decay!

Dad with Buzz (and a side of cheese)

Buzz and Mommy!

A couple of weeks ago, Kee and his 3-year-old class took a field trip to the Pumpkin Patch. Here's K-Man with 2 of his best friends in his class this year.

Cannon, Keegan and Jacob.

(contemplating their next move.)

Meanwhile, 6 months later ...

Things have progressed over the last 6 months. It's been up and down. I spent some time decompressing from 9+ years of firm life. Jen and I took a trip to St. Pete in February for a few days. I helped coach a little league team in Sandy Springs this spring with a former colleague at my old firm. That was something that I had wanted to do for a while and just had not had time to do. It was a lot of fun working with those 10-, 11-, and 12-year-olds. We did well too. Finished the regular season 21-3 and then swept the league's "World Series" to cap off the 23-3 season with 2 trophies. I am planning to help out again next year, so it will be fun to watch the 10's and 11's become 11's and 12's and see how they progress.

On the work front, I spent some time looking at other opportunities, but nothing materialized. So we made the decision to strike out on our own. I've opened Pinto Law Office, LLC -- conveniently located on the first floor -- of our house! It's taken a while for things to get moving in the right direction, but June was a good month for us from a billings standpoint. Now I just need for those clients to pay me. I am primarily doing the same things I was doing before: Labor and Employment Law mostly representing employers. I am open to representing employees as well who have employment issues. I have helped a couple of clients recently with some internal investigations they wanted conducted regarding harassment allegations and potential disciplinary decisions. Feel free to refer business owners, HR managers, and individuals who you may know who need some labor and employment advice. The website isn't up yet, but I hope to have it finished soon.

July brings another trip to Scotland. This year, Jen is joining the team for our trip over to provide a youth camp for a church outside Glasgow. I am helping co-lead the team this year because last year's leader moved to Nashville. I am also speaking during the morning sessions, so I have been trying to finalize those talks over the last few weeks. I have a new-found respect for pastors who prepare messages on a weekly basis. Jen is a little uneasy (understatement) about leaving K-Man behind on this trip, but she knows he'll be fine staying with Grammy while we're gone. She's stopped counting the days until we leave; now she's counting down the days until we return. If you want to follow along with our Scotland trip, there is a website set up where we'll be providing updates and photos HERE.

One of the things about launching out on our own and giving up a regular paycheck is the uncertainty of it all. It has been, and will continue to be, a constant test of faith. I give it up and take it back all the time. We are learning. But it is hard. Jen has been incredible in her support of this decision. She lived through the years at the firm -- which were not all bad -- but it wore me down. I was, at times, not a very likable person. (I know, you're all shocked to hear that! But it's very true.) Jen endured a lot through that. I owe her. So I sometimes feel bad that after enduring the past 9+ years, she now has to walk through this present mess and the stresses that come with this. But I think, despite all the uncertainty, that she and I are supporting each other very well. Because with the uncertainty comes the freedom to make our own schedule and for me to be around in the middle of the day to do some things with Kee that I hadn't made time for before. So keep us in your prayers as we walk this walk and see the Lord's faithfulness shine.

Just cheese

Jen and K-Man have been out of town for a while. They will be home tomorrow, and I am looking forward to having them around again. I talked to them on the phone tonight. Kee was jumping on the bed looking at himself in the mirror while he was jumping. He does the same thing in his playroom. We have a mini-trampoline that he got for Christmas last year. He loves to jump on it and look at himself in the mirror. He seems to watch to see how high he's jumping and to see if he's jumping correctly. As long as he's staying on the tramp and not jumping off and crashing into one of the three train sets strewn about the room, I'd say that's "correct" enough.

Thinking about them coming home got me to thinking about a story from a few weeks ago. Keegan has been on a quesadilla kick for the last month or so. Rather than spend money at Moe's or Willy's on his occasionally favorite meal, Jen decided to just make them at home on the pancake griddle. Works like a charm by the way. The problem was that he was just eating tortillas and cheese. Needed some more nutrients. So Jen tried to sneak in some more nutritious substances. First, she tried to add some veggies with the cheese, thinking he wouldn't notice. Wrong. He took a bite and looked more closely at the assortment of quesadilla pieces on his plate and turned to Jen and said "no like." Busted.

Next, she tried to add some chicken. Now, he'll eat chicken from time to time. But apparently, he doesn't like that in his cheese quesadilla either.

Undeterred, Jen got some tofu, which is made from soy. Tofu is the food equivalent of that liquid metal stuff they made those next generation Terminators out of in Terminator 2. It can take whatever form you need it to. It's white, like some of the cheese in the mexican blend of shredded cheese we use for the quesadillas. When placed on a tortilla with shredded cheese and heated on a griddle, it blends fairly well with the melted queso. And it's tasteless, so it absorbs the cheese flavor. This one got by K-man's cheese-dar. Poor kid. Duped by his momma.

A few days later, I was home with Kee while Jen was running errands. It got to be dinner time, so I asked him what he wanted for dinner. This question doesn't yet generate a response containing a choice of entree. It seems to alert him that the parent will then rattle off a selection of options. To which he will respond "no." Or he will repeat the choice that he wants.

So knowing that he's on a quesadilla kick, I throw that one out first -- hoping that I can shorten the exercise of dinner selection. I say "do you want a quesadilla?"

"Quesadilla" he repeats.

"Do you want a quesadilla?"

"OK."

And as I'm walking from the pantry with the tortillas to the fridge to pull out the shredded cheese, he places his order: "Just cheese."

It's hilarious to me that the kid is aware that his mom is trying to sneak in foreign substances into his quesadilla thereby ruining the meal for him. "Yea, she calls it a 'quesadilla,' but I know she's slipping other stuff in there." And apparently, I'm guilty by association. Otherwise, he wouldn't feel the need to clarify his order with me.

So I grabbed the cheese out of the fridge and told him "Just cheese."

"OK." he shot back.

Where did September go?

Seems like I just wrote about the start of the college football season, and now we're 4 games into the season already. Tough week for my Gators and all the dog fans in the area. The Gators fumbled away a chance to stay in the top 5. Instead, another loss to a mid-table team from the SEC West. At least we never fell behind 31-0 during the game. Ouch. Credit to the dog fans for not racing out of Sanford Stadium at half time -- like the Volunteer fans did in Knoxville the week before.

We took Keegan to the Southern Museum of Civil War and Locomotive History on Saturday. The kid is obsessed with trains at the moment -- especially Thomas the Train. We wound our way through the museum waiting to get to the ultimate prize -- The General. Fully restored and resting in its own room in the museum. Trains are large pieces of machinery when viewed outside. When resting in a building, their size is enhanced by the surrounding walls. It sure freaked out K-Man when he turned the corner to see the imposing General staring back at him. Never felt the kid squeeze my hand so hard as we slowly walked around the train. Eventually, he got comfortable with the size of the train and realized that it wasn't going to take off through the building. He even asked to see it again before we left the museum store. The morning was topped off with several passes through the Thomas the Train jump ride set up outside the museum. The train stamp on his hand was a bonus.

Yesterday, Keegan and I endured Jen singing "Hail to the Redskins" from about 4:00 to 7:30 as she watched her beloved Skins get a win on the road in Dallas against their biggest rival. Jen was teaching Kee to yell "Go Redskins" and I was teaching him to yell "No Singing!!" every time Jen started with the fight song. (Not quite as annoying as "Rocky Top" ... but close.)

I have declared the official start to fall. Fall officially begins when I grow the goatee back. Shaved the goatee in last night.

Celebrating 15 years . . . in Los Angeles

Jen and I were married fifteen years ago this month. To celebrate, I thought it was important to do something special. I mean, she's special. She's even more special for putting up with me for the past fifteen years through two graduate programs -- in completely different fields -- and the debt that comes with such (perhaps ill-guided) decisions. So in December, I contacted Jen's college roommate about the idea of using this occasion to surprise Jen with a trip to L.A. to visit her since they hadn't seen each other since the move to L.A. about a year ago.

First, I had to secure the services of someone to watch Keegan. No offense to the little guy, but mom and dad need some mom and dad time if you know what I mean. And K-Man doesn't fit that plan. So I clandestinely contacted Jen's parents about watching Kee. They agreed. Then I had to pick a date. I tried to get it planned around our anniversary date, but my sister had the audacity to schedule her nuptials for the weekend that fit that. No problem. I'm flexible. I found another weekend that fit. And made sure that worked for our friends in sunny Californ-I-A. It did. Plan moves forward.

On Valentine's Day, I told Jen that I had a trip planned for our anniversary. I told her I'd reserved a place at Amelia Island. (Why Amelia Island? Because I knew there was no way that I could pack secretly for Jen. So I told her a beach location that she could pack clothes that worked for L.A. too.) I also told her that she couldn't go online to search out stuff to do and start researching the area; I would plan everything for us. She agreed. I told her that her parents had agreed to watch K-Man while we were gone too.

Then we just had to wait 3 freaking long months. In that time, we had a family emergency with Jen's grandmother and there was a question of whether our babysitting arrangements would hold. But they did.

Finally, the day arrived. We left for the airport yesterday morning. We got in line at the check-in kiosk at the airport. I upgraded us to first class (because I knew how long the flight was going to be and the option was there). Jen didn't notice the kiosk screen's indication of the arrival site of our flight. Then we got in line to check our bags. The guy took the printed tags and wrapped them around our bags. Jen noticed the "LAX" on the tags and said "those say LAX on them."

"I know," I replied.

Nothing.

We walked on to security. I handed Jen her boarding pass -- which prominently displays "Los Angeles, CA" on it. But we passed through security without any cavity checks and without Jen bothering to read her boarding pass.

On the train, I tell Jen that I upgraded to first class. Jen says "I wish the flight was 5 hours long to enjoy that."

"I bet you do."

We get to the gate. Still Jen is oblivious. I make a point of looking at the gate board and saying, "looks like we're supposed to leave at 9:25." "OK" Jen says without looking up to see where this 9:25 flight is going.

As we are sitting waiting for the flight, Jen says "so are we flying into Jacksonville?"

(I realize this probably is going to be my only chance to finally spring this surprise on her.)

"No" and I hand her the boarding pass . . . again.

After a few seconds, it registers what she's reading.

And all of the effort to get to that look on her face was worth all the wait.

New Year's Fortnight

I have resisted the trite New Year's resolution post. There's a part of me that hates going along with what is expected. I also think I'm still recovering from November's post-a-day marathon. Then December was a month-long workday. After working long hours day after day, it's hard to muster any energy to write something remotely coherent. As January opened, my December hangover lingered. I am just now wiping away the cobwebs and ready to start writing again.

But what am I going to write?

Rather than look forward, I am going to pause to look back. Not that I can do anything about what happened in 2007, but I think there are some lessons to learn in the review.

In the fall of 2007, I took part in a men's group at church. I plan to continue the second half of that course this spring. What I learned by participating was not really anything new. It was a reminder that men need to be with other men for accountability. A reminder that I am flawed. (Jen will be surprised to read that I am flawed. She thinks I'm perfect in every way.) And encouragement that my crazy background is matched by a lot of the backgrounds of other men -- many of whom I would never think shared life experiences with me. In 2008, I want to be even more transparent -- and I think I was fairly transparent in the small group I am in. I also want to be more intentional about acting on some of the things I learn/realize/experience in this group. That's not the easiest thing for me. I am cognitive. I enjoy the mental exercise. Which also means I can overthink things into inaction. I don't want to do that with this group. If that's all I do, I will have wasted this opportunity.

In 2007, I did a decent job of making time for Jen and Keegan. But as you might assume, "decent" signals much room for improvement. I need to be more intentional about being present when I have time with Jen and K-Man. I can't waste those opportunities.

In 2007, I was unsuccessful in reaching some goals at work. I am an attorney, and I work in a firm. What that means, is that my life is ruled by the billable hour. The firm places expectations for billable hours on attorneys like me. We have to bill a minimum of hours each year. We are encouraged to bill more than the minimum by the firm's bonus structure. When 2007 started, I set some goals for myself in terms of billable hours. I did not meet those goals. (I hate even admitting that!) But what did I learn from 2007? That sometimes, I need to worry about me and my family more than I worry about what is best for my reputation. Huh? Suffice it to say that I left some money on the table in 2007. Money that my family could have used in any number of ways. So for 2008, I intend to do what I have to do to ensure I am in a position to earn what I can for the family. Now that doesn't mean that I need to work more hours necessarily. What it means is that I need to make every opportunity I have count. If my workload slips, I need to secure more work. I don't want to waste this opportunity.


2007 was a good year. Here's to a solid 2008. Here's to a 2008 that balances life and family and friends and faith and work. In the first fortnight of the year, things seem to be on course.

Keegan's Story (Part II)

[WARNING: I think Part II may be longer, but I broke it up again for you.]

So Jen called Marcia. Marcia gave Jen the contact information for the agency out west. And Jen called that woman. She gave a little more information. It was a baby boy, and both of his birth parents are Hispanic. She had been on the phone on Christmas Day with a couple who considered the boy but ended up saying “no” because he was “full” Hispanic. (Huh?!) She was on the phone with a second couple but she thought they were going to say “no” for the same reason. So Jen and I talked for a little bit. We were comfortable with his Hispanic background. But we didn’t know anything about the birth mother’s medical background. Had she gotten any pre-natal care? Was she an alcoholic? Any drug use? We couldn’t get that information before the agency would want to know if we wanted to be considered. So we moved ahead on faith. That this was who the Lord wanted us to have and everything else would take care of itself. So Jen called the woman back and said we’d like to be considered if the second couple turned him down.

I immediately went online trying to get a flight to that area of Florida so we could be there by 6:00 p.m. No dice. Not many flights available the day after Christmas. I found one seat to a nearby city, so I bought that for Jen. She would have to rent a car and drive over the rest of the way. Then we just had to wait. But if this was going to happen now, we really should have some stuff for a kid. All we had was a bassinette and a swing. That’s not enough. So we went to Target.

At Target, we went to the baby area and looked at car seats. Found one. Then we started looking at bottles and formula. Too many options. So Jen called a couple of friends to get their input. What bottles? Which formula? Then the other line rang. It was the adoption agency. Jen clicked over. The second couple said “no;” he’s yours if you want him. Are you freakin’ kidding me? A rush of excitement, fear and joy overwhelmed me. What the hell was happening?

Thus commenced the Target mad dash. Bottles, formula, t-shirts, onesies, socks, pacifiers, diapers, wipes, lotion, baby powder, butt cream, blankets, towels, and on and on. Nearly $400 worth of stuff all crammed into a red Target buggy.

The agency said they needed a copy of our home study. Ooops. We didn’t have the final report. Jen called the social worker. No answer. Jen left a voice-mail to call her back as soon as she got the message. We went home. The ticket that I bought for Jen wouldn’t get her to Florida by the 6:00 p.m. deadline. Jen called the agency to let them know. The agency made arrangements to let the baby stay in the hospital another night. Jen called the social worker and left another message.

The social worker called Jen back from the airplane she was on traveling back for the holiday. She was going straight to her office to print out the report, but she needed my medical exam. (This is where it does not pay to be a procrastinator.) Who is going to be able to give me a physical on the weekend? Of course, Jen’s OB/GYN. We hoped anyway. He goes to church with us, so we called him. Sure, he says. Meet him at his office. So I go to Jen’s OB to get my medical exam, and Jen has to leave for the airport. We would reconnect in Florida.

At the OB’s office, as you can imagine, I got some weird looks from the nurses. But the doc assured them I was in the right place. He was able to do the complete physical except the TB test. OK, we’ll take care of that tomorrow sometime. So I go back home and pack all of the newly purchased baby stuff from Target into the Explorer, grab some clothes and head to my office. There, I grab some work-related things I needed to take care of that week and sent a mass email to everyone telling them where I was headed. I had let most of them know that we were planning to go through this process, but I didn’t think it would come this quickly. I got back in the car and headed south on I-75.

I have driven into the wee hours of the morning before, but I have never been as wide awake as I was on this trip. I was making calls to people telling them where I was headed, and my Blackberry was buzzing as everyone replied to the email I sent out.

I arrived at the hotel around 4:00 a.m. I slumped into bed and quickly fell asleep. Around 9:00 a.m., I got up, and we went to find a place that could do the TB test. We found a worker’s comp clinic that fit the bill just down the street from the hotel. They ran the test and told me to come back for the results.

We went back to the hotel to wait to hear what was next. Around lunchtime, we received a call from the attorney’s office. They said they’d like us to be at the hospital around 4:30 p.m. She said that the birth mother might want to go to dinner with us to meet us and talk to us. I was not in favor of this. I’d just rather pick up the baby and move on. If she wants to talk at the hospital, I’m fine with that. Jen agreed with me. But as the time crept slowly by until 4:30, we both softened. If she wants to meet us, we could do that. We’d have the rest of our lives to be with this baby. She deserves the chance to meet us.

Eventually, enough time passed that it was nearing 4:30. We went to the hospital and waited in the maternity lobby. The attorney came out to us with the paperwork. The birth mother had signed the paperwork and revoked her parental rights. What about the birth father? Well, he was not available to revoke. He was in Panama. The attorneys would have to go through the process to notice the birth and give him an opportunity to come forward before they could consider his rights revoked. OK. Would’ve preferred a little more closure on that, but we’ll deal with that. We signed all of the paperwork and then the attorney walked us back to the room. She said that the birth mother was feeding him.

When we walked in, she was sitting on a bench seat feeding him a bottle of formula. Jen sat down next to them, and I stood looking at the baby. I’ll admit it; I was looking to see if there were any problems with him. There didn’t appear to be. He was beautiful with his stocking cap on sucking on that bottle. So at peace.

She asked Jen if she wanted to hold him. She did. Then the woman started to tell her story. She is 35 and from Panama. She has 3 kids. A 16-year-old boy, a 15-year-old girl and a 5-year-old girl. Her mother lives with her in Florida, but her father lives in Panama. She visits him periodically. On one trip back to see him, she went out and met a construction worker. They had sex, and she got pregnant. She did not tell the guy because she didn’t know him and his construction work was somewhat nomadic. He went to where the jobs were, and he was not living in her father’s town still. She had not seen or heard from him since that night. (We found out later that the birth mother had returned to Panama a number of times during her pregnancy and received pre-natal care on each of those visits.)

She did not tell anyone about the pregnancy. She was planning to move her family to a new house in a new school district, and another child was going to complicate that. She managed to go through the entire pregnancy without telling (or showing) anyone that she was pregnant. On Christmas Eve, she was at a party and felt her contractions start. She got up and drove herself to the hospital. Had the baby. An hour-and-a-half later, she checked herself out of the hospital. She said they made her sign a release before she could leave and gave her some Tylenol to take with her. She went back to the party so that people would not suspect anything. She had not seen the baby since she left that night.

On Christmas Day, she went on the internet to find an adoption agency. She had done some research during her pregnancy but didn’t get involved with one earlier because she was trying to keep the pregnancy secret from her family and friends. She called an agency in Florida, but it was closed because of the holiday. Several others she tried were closed as well. She managed to locate someone at the agency out west, and that is how they became involved.

We thanked her for making the decision that she made and trusting us with the baby. After sitting with us for about 30 minutes, she said she was happy and felt that she made the right choice. She took one of the stocking caps they had for the baby as well as a card with his footprints on it. We hugged her, and then she left. I can’t imagine how she felt walking away that day. I do hope that she felt a peace about it. When the door shut after she left, Jen was crying – no doubt thinking about the strength it took for this woman to give us this incredible gift.

The nurse gave us a quick lesson in diaper changing and feeding. The attorney gave us a little information on what would happen next in the process and that she’d call us in the next day or two to give us an update. Then they let us leave the hospital with Keegan. They just gave us this kid, and let us walk out the door. Unbelievable.

Here’s a shot of him on that day.

So we went back to the hotel after picking up some dinner to take back with us. We laid him on the bed and just stared at him. Did this just happen? Did they give us this baby to take care of? This kid? The one laying right there on the bed?

We had to stay in Florida until the State of Florida gave its initial approval. Then we had to have Georgia’s approval to bring him across the state line. That could take 7-10 days they told us. I had to go back and get my TB results. They were negative. No TB for me! That was the final part of my medical exam. I faxed that to the social worker. And the home study was complete.

Then we went to Babies R Us, because we had never registered for any baby stuff – despite the encouragement to do so from others. We spent most of that week in the hotel room waiting to hear from the attorney. I did have to go to the bank to arrange for a wiring of money to pay the adoption agency. (They made a lot of money for 3 days of work by the way.)

On Thursday, we heard from the attorney that Florida had given its approval, and the information had been forwarded to Georgia. On Friday around lunchtime, I called the attorney to see if they had heard from Georgia. No, not yet. If they didn’t hear on Friday, we wouldn’t hear until Tuesday because Monday was a holiday. So I prepared myself for another 3 days in the hotel. Around 2:00 p.m., the phone rang. It was the attorney. Georgia gave verbal approval over the phone. We were free to go. I rushed to the front desk to see if they’d let us leave without paying the extra day. Under the circumstances, they were more than willing to do that. We decided not to go the whole way back to Atlanta given the late start, so we went to Gainesville for the night. We met our friends, Greg and Stephanie. Stephanie is at UF med school studying pediatrics, so we made her give Keegan a good once over. Everything checked out. It was good to get another opinion. I mean, he seemed perfect to us, but the second opinion never hurts. On Saturday, we headed home.

When we arrived at home, we were completely blindsided by what had occurred in our absence. Amy Fritchman and Misty Eldridge came in and cleaned the house. They took down our Christmas tree and decorations. They went by Babies R Us and picked up the crib we’d ordered and put it together. They picked up the changing table. They painted K-Man’s room!! And set up everything in there. It was unbelievable. They were all there waiting for us when we got home. It was great to celebrate with them.

Here are some shots of Amy’s and Misty’s handiwork.

On April 27, 2006, we had a telephonic hearing with a Florida State Court judge who finalized the adoption for us. Everything was legal from that point.

So that’s the story. I think I covered it rather completely. Now you know the rest of the beginning of K-Man’s story. Two years later, he remains the blessing that he was on that first day. He’s just much more mobile now and capable of wreaking greater havoc.

Keegan's Story (Part I)

[WARNING: This is a long post. I can’t help that. There’s a lot to tell. I tried to break it up into easy-to-chew paragraphs. If you can’t read the whole post in one sitting, you can come back later to finish.]

This time two years ago, I was speeding down I-75 headed to Florida and Jen was already down there waiting for my arrival. We were only hours away from seeing K-Man for the very first time. But before we get to that part of the story, there’s much prologue to cover.

Sometime in 2000 – it doesn’t matter when at this point – Jen and I decided to start a family. No, that’s not right. We were already a family. We’d been married almost 7 years by that time and been through 2 advanced degree programs for me. We decided to try to have a baby – the traditional way. Well long story short – we were unsuccessful in that department. Not for a lack of trying I can assure you. They say that practice makes perfect. They are lying.

Come 2005 – and way too much unsuccess for anyone’s psyche – we decided to go the adoption route. We decided rather than spend $10,000+ for the privilege of me giving Jen shots all the time and trying in vitro, we would spend that money (and then some) on an adoption. We, of course, looked into the costs for such a thing. They are many. There’s a fee for the adoption itself. There’s a fee for the lawyers involved in making it legal. In some cases there are fees for the birth mother’s medical expenses and living expenses. There’s a fee for the home study – to be evaluated by a social worker to get a report that says you’re fit to be parents. There may be travel expenses depending on where the birth mother is. And there’s a fee if you use an adoption consultant. That's a $%&#-load of fees. It’s a racket really when you look at the grand total and consider what some of the fees are actually for. It’s tragic to let costs be an obstacle when there are so many couples who would love to adopt the hundreds of kids out there waiting to be adopted. (But that’s for another post.)

Now that we’d decided to adopt, we needed to figure out how to do it. My sister had a friend whose aunt (I think) had used an adoption consultant to walk them through the process. So we checked her out. She has two children, and she adopted both of them. After working herself through those processes, she decided that there was a need to help other couples navigate the adoption waters. When we met her, she had been helping couples for about 15 years. We started by visiting an informational meeting. We liked what we heard. She provided example after example of adoptions that only took 3 to 12 months to complete. We know people who waited years from the beginning of the process to when they picked up their babies. We wanted to move as quickly as possible. She was no-nonsense. She was a little animated for me, but I appreciated her passion for helping couples. Now that we knew that we wanted to adopt and we had a consultant to use, we had to figure out how to pay for the adoption.

We bought our house in the summer of 2004. Twelve months later, the prices in our neighborhood had risen about 20%. This allowed us to refinance and use our second mortgage to cover the expenses. I had always doubted that we would be able to pay for an adoption. Thankfully, the Lord had other plans for us. Armed with the means to cover an adoption, we moved forward.

In the second week of November 2005, we had our first meeting with the consultant. She runs her agency out of the basement of her house. Normally, I would be skeptical of such things, but oddly enough, I wasn’t in this case. Before we met with Marcia, she gave us some paperwork to complete. One of the items was a tolerance inventory. This was not a measure of how many adult beverages it took to make us tipsy. The inventory asked us what aspects of the birth parents’ history would we tolerate. Black? White? Hispanic? Asian? Mixed? Heart disease? Drug use? Marijuana? Cocaine? Heroin? Cancer? Smoker? Alcohol use/abuse? Sickle cell trait? HIV+? The inventory went on and on. Tough issues to consider. Makes you think hard about how much you want a child and how bigoted you really are. The kicker is that the more you tolerate, the quicker you’ll get matched with a birth mother. Before we left that first meeting, we scheduled the second meeting with her for the first week of December. Oh yea, and I wrote a check for the first half of her fee.

When we left Marcia after the first meeting, we had a couple of assignments. First, we had to get moving on our home study. Second, we had to get our “profile” done. Marcia gave us the name of a social worker that she had just started working with. Jen called her to get that ball rolling. Next, we called Mike Moon and asked him if he could help us put together our profile. What is a “profile?” I know you’re asking yourself that question. Glad you asked. A profile is really a set of marketing materials about you as a couple. Here’s Bill and Jen. The way Marcia explained it to us, when a birth mother reaches the point of deciding which couple to give the baby to, she uses these profiles to decide which couple(s) to consider. We collected pictures of us and our families to use. We wrote copy for the profile about each of us as individuals and as a couple; about our interests; and about our families and friends. We gave Mike the pictures and copy, and he and Sabrina (his wife) put together the best profile – bar none – that we could ask for.

At the second meeting with Marcia in early December, we showed her our profile and let her know that we were moving forward with our home study. She gave us a binder chock full of information about five or six adoption agencies that she thought would fit us best. One of our goals was to adopt in a state that had a very short revocation period . . . or none at all. Our homework was to choose one or two agencies to apply with. [The idea was that we would select an agency and apply with them. That agency would work with Marcia if they had a birth mother who matched with us and wanted to talk to us. At some point, we might meet with her and a match would be made. We would then wait for her to complete the pregnancy, and we would get a call when the baby was coming. That was the “usual” way this process works. As it turned out, there was nothing “usual” about the process we would follow.]

Over the next couple of weeks that December, we finished our three meetings with the social worker for the home study. We would need that done to move forward with the agency we would decide to work with. On Christmas Day, we spent the bulk of the day at my parents’ house with all of the other relatives. It was a fun day, but it was long. We came home that night and crashed. We slept late on the morning of the 26th with plans for a very lazy day. [Again our plans would be thwarted.]

Some time after lunch on the 26th, Jen decided to check her email. She had received an email from Marcia shortly around 11:00 p.m. or midnight the night before. Marcia was forwarding an email that she had received earlier Christmas Day from an adoption agency out west. The email said that there was a baby in a hospital in Florida who was going to be placed in that state’s version of DFCS if he was not picked up by 6:00 p.m. that night. I was in the living room reading the paper. Jen called me from the study with an understated tone like the tone that Donald Quinelle might use after discovering that he’d brought the wrong bullets to a survivalist exercise. (“Hey Bill, you’re not gonna believe this…"). I read the email and stared back at Jen with a look of disbelief I’m sure. She broke the silence.

“What do you think?”

“Call her and see what she says.”

So Jen called.

Tomorrow, you can read the end of the beginning of Keegan's Story.

Right place right time?

Jen's favorite football team is the Washington Redskins. And she is hard core. In fact, we originally signed up for DirecTV because she wanted to watch her Redskins play every week, and DirecTV is the only satellite or cable system that offers the NFL Sunday Ticket. During our senior year of college, she was in Washington D.C. for a broadcasting convention. It just happened to be the same weekend of Super Bowl XXVI featuring her beloved Skins and the cursed Buffalo Bills. On that Sunday night, she made her way to Georgetown and celebrated in the streets with a couple hundred of her closest friends.

She has always been a huge Joe Gibbs fan. I think the only time she has ever said anything nice about the Skins current owner, Dan Snyder, was when he rehired Joe Gibbs as the coach. Many wondered why he would come back to coach this team after he'd already been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Maybe the events of the last couple of days with Sean Taylor are just the reason he's back at the helm. Who knows? Mark Schlereth thinks there's no one better to help the team in this situation. After you watch this video, you'll see why.

Cornucopia

I don't really have a theme to today's post. So I am cramming everything into a horn-of-plenty-useless-thoughts.

1) In the Thanksgiving edition of the AJC -- the one with all the sales papers for Black Friday -- Jen noticed a circular for Dollar Tree. Isn't everything already super-cheap there? You know, like a dollar?

2) We have a space-heater in K-Man's room. He's figured out that he can control it by turning the temperature knob. In a way, it's now one of his toys. Tonight when I got home from work, he dragged me in there to play with the space heater . . . for 20 minutes. Off . . . on . . . off . . . on . . . off . . . on . . . off . . . on. Can you spend 20 minutes any better?

3) Tomorrow is Match Day 5 in the Champions League group stages. Manchester United takes on Sporting Lisbon, the Portuguese futbol club. ManU has already advanced to the knock-out stages of the Champions League competition by winning its first four games of the group stage. The match, being played at Old Trafford, will feature two ManU players, Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani, playing their former clubs.

4) This is not my inner Gator talking, but it would be wrong if UGA plays for the national title without even playing in the SEC championship game. With the way this college football season has gone, I would not be surprised if Pitt beats WVU and OU beats Mizzou this weekend. With Ohio State and UGA not playing, they would likely move into the #1 and #2 slots in the BCS poll giving them the spots in the title game. That would be wrong. The only good that could come from such an anomaly would be the creation of a +1 game for next season.


5) There is a part of me in this cartoon:

Seventeen years ago . . . .

Seventeen years ago tonight, I was sleeping in a bunk at a Salvation Army camp in Sharon, Massachusetts. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

When Jen and I started at Asbury, the college was still on the quarter system and had been for years. As many of you have likely noticed, during the holiday season, the Salvation Army descends upon malls and shops across the country with companies of bell-ringers. When Asbury was on the quarter system, fall quarter ended the week before Thanksgiving and winter quarter didn't start until after New Year's. This made the Asbury student population perfect candidates for the thousands of bell-ringer positions across this great land. Each fall, the Sallies (as they are affectionately called) came to campus and recruited students for teams in various cities -- Dallas, TX, York, PA, Baltimore, MD, and Boston, MA to name a few. The fall of my junior year, Jen and I decided to sign up for one of the teams going to the Boston area. We signed up for a smaller Salvation Army center in Sharon, MA. I was excited because my parents are from MA, and I had a number of relatives in the area that I had hopes of visiting on off days. At the time, my paternal grandparents lived in the next town over from Sharon.

I was assigned to stand outside a grocery store in Sharon. I came prepared for Boston in December. I had ski gloves -- that provided enough digital flexibility to grasp my assigned brass bell. I had a hat. I had a nice winter coat that had an outer shell to help break the cold winds. And I had long johns and thermal socks for every day of the week. I was prepared.

I was prepared for something other than ringing bells outside in Boston in December. After a few days of relatively mild weather, December in Boston came to reign over me. It took about an hour for my fingers to feel the gloves' inability to withstand the really cold weather. Thankfully, after about a half day of my quixotic stand against the elements, the kind employees of the grocery store invited me inside to stand in the front lobby. Oh sweet warmth of a grocery store entry! The only catch was that I couldn't ring the bell inside the store. That was an easy call. After about an hour of ringing that bell, I wanted to plunge one of those sandwich swords into my ears to make the ringing stop! This would avoid all that carnage. And the guy managing our team of ringers wouldn't care if I was still able to raise money sans bell.

Another funny thing about ringing bells in Sharon, MA is that Sharon is well-known in the Boston area as a predominantly Jewish town. So I received a lot of disclaimers from the Sallies not to expect great donations. I can testify that the warning I received was complete bunk. I raised a lot of money over the course of my weeks in Sharon. In my experience, the Sharonites are a very generous lot. And I was able to strike up a lot of conversations with the employees of that store who saw me come from Kentucky and stand in the frigid air outside their store and then saw me stand in the lobby day after day to raise money for a great organization.

A funny story from our time in Boston that winter: We went out to lunch one Sunday afternoon with another Boston-area team of Asbury bell-ringers. We were ordering our drinks when one from our party ordered sweet tea. The waitress looked at her like she was on crack and responded, "We only have that during the summer." Priceless.

Thanksgiving 2007

I thought about trying to be different and posting about the things that I am not thankful for today. But that would be disingenuous. I think there's something to learn in all of the things that we face. So I may include some of the things that I could do without but for which I am thankful.

1) My wife. She is someone who has such a full heart. She puts up with all of my shortcomings -- and there are a truck-load of those. She is an awesome mom to K-Man. She is a great friend. She knows when to challenge and when to encourage.

2) K-Man. Having a kid is a life-changing experience. He draws out the kid in me. And everyone should have someone who does that.

3) Friends. There are way too many of those to mention here. You know who you are. Several of you have been by my side for nearly 25 years. You've helped me through hard times and celebrated great moments as well. Thank you for your constant presence.

4) My job. My job provides us the means to put a roof over our heads. To pay for the cars we have. To pay for my student loans. To put food on the table and diapers on K-Man's butt. It helps build a retirement as well.

5) Our church. It provides a place to be fed and many opportunities to serve. Opportunities that I don't take full advantage of, but we'll skip the self-imposed guilt trip today.

6) DirecTV and Tivo. You knew eventually I would get past the traditional focuses of thanks and get to the superficial aspects of life. I am thankful for satellite television for several reasons. The main reason is that it provided me with the means to tell the cable companies to take a hike. Plus it provides me access to scores of English and European football matches. And by football, I mean soccer.

7) Everyone who defends our freedom. People who leave their families for months, and sometimes years, on end to fight enemies known and unknown; seen and unseen.

8) Music. I don't play any instrument, but I love music performed by those who can. Thank you to all the musicians who make life a little more pleasant.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm going to pour another glass of wine and enjoy some family time. Thanks for hanging out today. Happy Thanksgiving!

New Haircut Boy

As many of you know, Keegan's hair is very curly. But what you may not know is that it's grown out considerably and when it's dry, you can pick it out into quite the 'fro. We've tried some detangler on it, but after a while, it still gets all knotted. Rather than go the whole dreads route -- which might be pretty cool -- we decided to take him for his first haircut today.

We went to Bob's Barber Shop in Marietta. Bob's is a place that I've been getting my haircut for about 25 years. So it was a sort of right of passage. K-Man did really well all things considered. More importantly, Andrew the barber, who goes to church with us, did incredibly well with his moving target.

Jen was a little on edge going into the process. She can be so cute when she's worried about her little boy. But everything turned out well. Kee sat in my lap as Andrew first picked out his hair until he looked like Leo Sayer. Then he took the clippers to his head shaving off sections of 'fro. He hacked off a few chunks of hair. We saved several locks -- especially a few of his tight curls. Keegan giggled a little when Andrew shaved his hairline at his neck. And of course, when we were done, Keegan got the standard Dum Dum lollipop.


We got away without any crying. He is becoming such a big boy. And his new 'do makes him look much faster -- like his new shoes. Size 8's!

I'll post some more pics of the big day when I get the film developed (Long live 35mm!!).

Fiery one

Keegan took another step in his development this weekend. Mark and Amy were in town with their boys. We met them at the pool in the Tanner's neighborhood. We've taken Keegan to the beach and to several pools. One thing we know is that he does not like it when the water is cool. However, it's August, and the weather here the last week or so has been partly furnacy with a chance of spontaneous combustion, so I was hopeful that the water would be comfortable. It did not disappoint. This meant that K-Man was comfortable stepping into the shallow end on the steps. I picked him up and walked him around the shallow end, but he wasn't comfortable with that very much. So we put him back on the steps and let him acclimate at his own pace.

Then we were visited by the Fritchman boys -- one goggled and one not. They were -- as usual -- a bundle of energy and wanted Keegan to join in. Actually, Eli wanted me to make Keegan join in, asking "Why don't you put him under the water?" I explained that Keegan didn't want to be put under the water, but Eli couldn't hear me because about that time, Asa had come over and dunked Eli. Karma.

Meanwhile, on the shallow end steps, Keegan was getting more comfortable with the water sitting on the second step so the water was up to his neck. Bored with that, he stood up and walked to the edge of the pool which caught the attention of Asa and Eli. I held out my hands to see if he wanted to come back into the water, and he reached as if he did. I pulled him off the edge and held him walking around a bit in the water. But he wanted back on the edge. So I placed him up there. Then Eli joined him on the edge and jumped off. And you could see the wheels turning in Kee's head.

Oooh, that looks interesting.

I like jumping off stuff.

I jump off the changing table when Daddy is standing there.

Daddy's standing right there.

I think I'll jump off here.

Boom.

And Jen and Amy clapped and cheered.

Oooh, there's a crowd watching me. I like having a crowd. Get me back to the edge Dad so I can jump off again for my adoring fans.

He jumped again and again. Each time to more applause. And Eli kept jumping too. But Kee seemed to notice that Eli was disappearing under the water when he jumped. I had been catching him to keep his head above the water. Getting him used to jumping first before we raised the stakes as Eli suggested and put him under the water. I could tell that he was really thinking about the fact that Eli was under the water when he jumped and he was not. I turned to Jen and said, he's going under this time.

She gasped a little and stepped back so that her worrisome aura didn't infect the development that was taking place.

And then he jumped again, and I let him go under all the way. He loved it! He barely rubbed his eyes. Couldn't get back to the edge fast enough to jump off again. Keep in mind this is the same kid who hates us pouring water on his head to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. But now he doesn't care if I let him jump into three feet of water. Whatever. He jumped and jumped until he basically exhausted himself.

The cool thing for me was watching Kee reveal his competitive streak. He saw the other boys doing something and thought, "I can do that." The same thing happened when he took his first steps at Mark and Amy's house last October while the boys were running around the room in front of him.

According to several Irish sources, Keegan means "fiery one" or "little fiery one" or "determined." Although hardly "little," K-Man is living up to his name. He is fiery and determined. We continue to foster the positive aspects of that, letting him explore his limits and pushing beyond them as he is ready. And the privilege of participating in that is humbling.

Who's the musical one in this relationship?

As many of you know, Jen plays the piano. Some of you know that she can play it really well and in fact, teaches piano lessons one day a week at the house. Jen can sit down and play a one of Mozart's sonatas. It's beautiful -- even though she rarely does it much now.

But ask Jen who is performing a song on the radio, and you might as well have asked her what Element 78 is on the periodic table! (It's platinum by the way.)

I, on the other hand, can't play any instrument to save my life. Jen tried to teach me to play piano when we were dating in college. Bad move. I couldn't understand why there weren't three simple steps to learning Piano Man. I think the "lesson" lasted about 20 minutes. One of the keys to any successful relationship is figuring out what the two of you can't do together!

As you know, I have posted a playlist to this site. I listen to it a lot when I am on the computer in the office and at home. Jen loves the songs on the playlist. But she is constantly asking me who is singing which songs. It cracks me up every time she does it because she's the musical one. My only remotely musical abilities are setting the presets on the radio and downloading music from iTunes. And apparently the ability to recall which artist is playing which song.

There are 2 particular songs on the playlist that Jen likes, and she always asks me who is playing when they come on. Sometimes, these songs will come on, and Jen will get all excited and say, "Don't tell me. This is . . . oh I can't remember." And I will remind her who the artists are. The 2 songs that give Jen the hardest time are Gary Jules' version of Mad World which was featured in the movie Donnie Darko. The song is actually a Tears for Fears song, but I like the slower tempo of the Jules version. The other song is Ben Kweller's Thirteen off his self-titled CD. Both songs open with just a piano playing, but Kweller's voice is a little bit higher than Jules'.

So this morning, I am browsing the internet at the bar in our kitchen, reading about how great the Florida Gators are going to be again this fall on the gridiron. I am listening to the playlist while I browse. And the Gary Jules song comes up. Jen, who was in the study, jumps up and comes into the room.

"OK, that's the Tears for Fears song, but it's not them singing. It was in that movie."

So far so good.

"It's Jules Kweller!"

I about fell out of the chair!