NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 26 -- Long Day

Today was a weird one. It started last night. After a long Thanksgiving Day filled with a gluttonous amount of food and drink, we came home a little after 8:00 pm. I probably should've gone to bed then. Instead, I fell asleep downstairs for a couple of hours. Then, of course, I couldn't fall asleep. I watched most of the movie Radio. I'd never seen it. Decent flick.

Eventually, I went to bed in the wee hours of the night/morning.

K-Man was up a little after 7:00 this morning. Jen leaned over and asked if I "wanted" to get up with him. As opposed to what? Sleeping for a few more hours? Sure, I'd love to get up. I knew Jen wasn't feeling well, so I didn't mind getting up to give her some more hours of shut-eye.

Kee did a great job "playing quietly" downstairs so he didn't wake up Mommy. And Jen managed to get several more hours of sleep, but she struggled most of the day with the crud. Similar to the crud I had the other day, but maybe a little more flu-like. We'll see.

Jen stayed up for a few hours before taking some more Nyquil. The Nyquil required a nap. Keegan always "gets" whatever Jen has, so when she said she needed to nap because she wasn't feeling well, Kee said he needed to rest too because he had a cold too. Kee laid down, but only lasted about an hour. Jen was out for over three.

When Keegan woke up, we planned a trip to the Thrashers game tonight, but I told him not to tell Mommy -- because she was still sleeping, and I didn't want him to wake her up.

Just as we were about to leave for the game, Jen woke up and came downstairs. The first words out of K-Man's mouth were: "We're going to the Thrashers game."

And after two beats, he added "but I'm not supposed to tell."

Priceless.

We headed downtown for a little pre-game Chick-Fil-A at CNN Center before the game. Here's Kee working on his last chicken nugget:

We lasted the usual two (of three) periods because Keegan was ready to leave. We had a little incident in the restroom, so I had to introduce Kee to the freedom of "going commando." He adjusted well. Better than I thought he would. He can be rather particular about his clothes. I think the fact that he was wearing his fleece-lined jeans made the transition a little easier.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 22 -- I can't be trusted at the store

It's Thanksgiving week. That means at some point I have to make my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to bring to dinner on Thursday. My family might disown me if I failed to bring them.

But to make them, I have to go to the store to buy the ingredients. And I can't be trusted at the store. Just ask Jen.

I'll explain.

So I made the list, which included some generic groceries that we just needed around the house. For example, I bought some Lysol spray to disinfect the kitchen garbage can. (Actually it was a store-brand generic that "compares to Lysol.") But my cookie recipe doesn't call for Lysol. Or generic Lysol-substitute.

At the store. I bought the essential cookie ingredients: sugar, brown sugar, butter, chocolate chips, oatmeal, and egg beaters (I'm 40 now, so I got to balance out all the good stuff with some egg substitute).

But true to form, I bought some other stuff -- none of which are in my cookie recipe.

Mike & Ikes -- because I just like those.

Reese's Pieces -- because they were right there next to the Mike & Ikes.

Wine -- they say red wine goes really well with chocolate, so that's kind of a pairing rather than something that is completely off the mark.

A tiny light bulb -- that's actually a safety issue. I needed to replace the bulb for one of the tail- lights on my car, so I should get a pass for that one.

Black tea -- because I'm still fighting some crud in my throat and the tea helps with all the coughing I'm doing.

Two bags of marshmallows and rice krispies -- those were for Jen to make rice krispie treats for K-Man.

Before I went to the store, I stopped by Sam's Club. One of the staple, non-cookie items that we needed was bread. Well, rather than buy the bread at the grocery store, I picked some up at Sam's Club. There, I can get two loaves of bread for a better deal. So I went there to get the bread.

I also walked out with a shirt. (Another item that is not germane to oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.)

See, I can't be trusted.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 20 -- I miss the movie theater

I am a card-carrying member of the trailer-loving society. Not homes on wheels. Those two-minute movie previews that precede the feature presentation at the movie theater.

The problem is, I don't get to the movies anymore unless we're going to see the latest Pixar movie with K-Man. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing movies with him, but it would be nice to see a movie without dodging strollers and puddles of who knows what. And my love of trailers is left wanting at those movies because they only show trailers for more animated and talking animal movies.

When I was in high school, we used to see just about every movie that came out. We saw some stinkers too -- probably because the trailers always captured the best elements of the movie, and we weren't that picky. (I didn't go to high school in Greenwich Village.)

Today, I get my trailer fix online. Apple and Yahoo both have trailer sites that I visit periodically.

My love of going to the movies goes way back. I can recall being 3 or 4 and going to the Drive-In with my parents. I was supposed to be sleeping in the back seat, but I wasn't. I probably should have been because I can still see the climactic shooting scene of Walking Tall starring Joe Don Baker in my mind.

But who can afford to go to the movies these days? It's not just the price of tickets. With a kid, there's the sitter to pay for. Hard to justify spending all of that money for 2-3 hours to watch a movie when I know the same ones will be available on satellite in a few months for fractions of the cost.

So I'll stick with my online trailers and satellite movies. But I still miss the movie theater.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 19 -- Thoughts from coffee with a friend

It's hard to watch people we love live through the consequences of their actions. Sometimes it's a one-time action and sometimes it's a chronic dysfunction that showers their lives with unwanted results. Even when we have no real role in their predicament, the outcome can affect us in a variety of ways. Maybe if we'd been more involved, we could've saved them the pain of this. Now that they're in this situation, it's going to require more of our time or resources to help them. It's their problem, but it impacts us as well. Can't get away from it. We're connected.

I was having coffee with a friend the other day. He had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about, so we'd scheduled some time to meet. He wanted to talk about a loved one of his who is dealing with some consequences at the moment. My friend was dealing with a myriad of emotions about the situation. There was a little guilt. There was some helplessness because he wasn't in a position where his assistance was welcome -- and part of him really wanted to help.

As we were talking, I tried to reassure him that he had nothing to feel guilty about. The choices made by his loved one were their choices. So the consequences were the loved one's to own. The helplessness that he felt was understandable, but again, it wasn't his situation to correct or unwind or put back in the bottle.

In some ways he had to come to grips with the fact that there was going to be pain for his loved one. They may not be aware of the full scope of that at the moment, but they likely will down the road. He wanted his loved one to realize the full impact of his actions now -- not in a "you get what you deserve way" but more to deal with it now and get started on healing from the situation. But again, he was helpless to make his loved one understand that. I tried to encourage him that even if his loved one didn't get it now and suffered some lingering pain from the circumstances, the Lord can redeem that when they do come to terms with the full scope of what happened. I hope it was encouraging. I hope it eased his mind.

I try to have the same approach with Keegan. He's going to make mistakes that have consequences. He has to learn that cause and effect. For now, those effects are relatively minor. At some point, he'll be facing something bigger, and I'll be struggling with wanting to protect him from the larger, maybe more painful, consequences. I'd do anything for that kid, but there may come a time -- there probably will come a time -- when the best thing I can do for him is to do nothing except love him and walk beside him through the mire of whatever he's gotten himself into. That may sound detached or cold in a way, but for me, it's more a statement of faith that I can trust the Lord to watch over him and see him through whatever he faces.

And maybe in letting him deal with the consequences of his actions without intervening to "save" him from himself, he'll come to understand that there is nothing that he cannot overcome and that we'll be there for him no matter what.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 18 -- New template

You may have noticed the new template for the blog. It just felt like it was time for a new look. (No, I'm not going to re-introduce the mullet. Not yet anyway.) I settled on this particular background because it reminds me of my times and my friends in Scotland. (I know it looks like the English coast, but it was the closest I could find.) Can you smell the sea air and feel the cool breeze?

Let me know what you think of the new look.

I started this blog over three years ago. K-Man was 2. That seems like so long ago now. I was perusing those early posts a little bit today. Some great shots of Kee and funny stories. (OK, enough with the sappiness.)

In some ways, the new template is an expectant metaphor for life. We go about our lives day upon day. Sometimes life steers us in a new direction. Sometimes we choose a new direction. Either way, we can make the choice to make the most of the new direction by embracing it. In the end, we're different -- hopefully for the better. It feels like we're in the midst of one of those times of change, and the new look is a way of embracing that. Stick around to see how things turn out.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 17 -- Team Party & K-Man's Awesome Prayer

Tonight we had Keegan's end-of-the-year soccer party. Team United had a good season. A team mostly of first-time players had their ups and downs (and by that, I mean that it was good the under-6 league doesn't keep score, because some of our kids probably can't count high enough to keep track of the goals scored on us). But as the year went on, we saw improvement from the boys and girls on the team (of course, even in the last game, there were still occasions where I had to remind the kids to kick the ball in the other direction because we don't want to help the other team score more goals on us).

It was a great outlet for Kee's endless energy levels. I cannot wait until he figures out how athletic and fast he is. For now, he spends more time watching his shadow run alongside him. Which -- I tell myself -- is just fine. His day will come.

The party was at Stevi B's Pizza Buffet. But most of the kids couldn't wait until we unleashed them on the game room. Love of skeeball knows no age apparently. If there are pink tickets to be collected and turned in for cheap plastic toys made in China that will get lost under a bed, thrown out by a parent, and cried over when their absence is stumbled upon, kids under 6 will go berserk for them! At least they did tonight.

Such a situation is perfect for a K-Man meltdown too. And tonight did not disappoint. Because once the tokens for skeeball run out, Kee begins the negotiation for more "moneys" for more tokens. That usually amounts to another dollar (have you seen the kid's eyes staring up at you asking for more "moneys?" You'd cave too! Don't judge me.) But once those tokens run out, Kee begins round 2 of negotiations, but this is where I walk away from the table. He becomes insistent. I remind him that I told him the last dollar was the "last dollar." He then cries. Which has no impact on me. Once the waterworks start, the kid's cuteness loses its effect on me.

When we left the restaurant, we let Keegan know about our disappointment in his behavior. He made "bad choices." ("Bad choices" is parent-speak for "you screwed up kid" but you can't really say that to a kid, because he'll repeat it to a teacher or someone in authority and then yesterday's post about possibly fostering kids becomes a moot point.)

When we got home, after a quick bath, it was time for K-Man to hit the hay. We said our prayers, and I asked Keegan to ask God to forgive him for making bad choices tonight. And these were the first words out of his mouth: "Hey Jesus ...."

If I'd had a mouthful of water, the kid would've needed a towel to dry off from the spit-take.

"Hey Jesus, please forgive me for making bad choices."

"Hey Jesus, thank you for bringing that kid into our lives!"

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 15 -- Thoughts from a recent meeting

We went to a meeting at our church on Sunday afternoon. Some friends of ours have taken the steps to be approved as foster parents and are doing so through a private agency called Faithbridge Foster Care. Faithbridge works with the state and county agencies who have the placement needs. When their foster families are not available, they call private agencies, like Faithbridge, to see if they can fill the gap with one of their Faithbridge families. Faithbridge's model centers around establishing relationships with churches. The goal is not only to find willing families in the churches but also for the members of those churches to help serve as support for their member families who decide to foster.

Faithbridge has the statistics, but if the Church stepped up, there would be no need for the state agencies who place foster children because there would be none without a family to take them in. The meeting that we attended was an introductory meeting into what it means to be a foster family or a respite care family and how Faithbridge operates. It was also a time for people to ask questions and hopefully, for the Faithbridge representative to dispel some myths about fostering.

When we jumped into the world of adoption, we went to a similar meeting where we heard an adoption consultant dispel many of the movie-of-the-week myths about the adoption process. That was a good exercise for us. (And the reality for us has been nothing like those myths that continue to circulate about adoption.)

But I digress.

I have two psychology degrees, so in meetings like this, I cannot stop myself from monitoring the comments of others (and a little commentary in my head about what is being said or asked). This meeting was no different.

The first question that got me thinking was "how can Faithbridge do this with the whole separation of church and state?" My first thought was that there's a need that has to be met, and if there is another group that will help with some of the heavy lifting, the county is not going to mind that a faith-based group is helping out. Second, the state isn't as interested as many think it is in the spiritual lives of the rest of us. Third, this is the Bible belt. There is a lot more openness to faith-based initiatives here than in other parts of the country, I am sure. But I would still think that similar agencies in whatever other "liberal" state would accept the help of a group like Faithbridge even there. Finally, if someone thinks that fostering through Faithbridge is a way to force religion on a child, then perhaps, they are missing the point of serving as a foster parent (and I am not saying that I think the questioner is of that mindset, but I can see something similar running through the minds of those who want to "rescue" these children from their situations.)

The other question that sticks out for me was asked in the context of bringing in a foster child who was older than your own child or children -- a teenager perhaps. The questions was "how do you know that there won't be any sexual issues that your own children will be exposed to?" My immediate thought was "you can't." Thankfully, that was the ultimate response from the Faithbridge rep as well. It reminded me of our adoption situation. We couldn't really "know" anything about the background of Kee's birth parents. The limited info we have is based on self-report for the most part. We trust that what we know is true. But we cannot know. We made the conscious decision -- even before we launched into the adoption process -- to trust that the Lord would walk alongside us regardless of how things turned out with Kee. We reiterated that statement of faith after K-Man was ours.

I think we would have to walk into a foster family situation the same way. We would certainly try to determine as much as we could about the child's background, but we would have to remain vigilant and pray that the Lord would protect our family and heal whatever scars and pain exist for the child we brought into our home.

We haven't decided how or if fostering is a part of our future. But we wanted to know more about the process if for no other reason than to help our friends who are working with Faithbridge. We'll see what the Lord has in store for us though.

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 6 -- Boys Night at the Thrashers Game

We went to the Thrashers hockey game a couple of weeks ago with some friends. Their son is a huge fan, and they were celebrating his birthday there. Keegan had a great time -- mainly because when the Thrashers score, they blow a train horn and 2 Thrasher heads hanging from the rafters blow fire! What four-year-old doesn't love train horns and fire?!?!

So tonight, K-Man and I went to the game against the Chicago Blackhawks, the defending Stanley Cup champions. We started with a meal from Wendy's which we enjoyed sitting on the floor of CNN Center. Chocolate milk with his kid's meal seemed appropriate for the special occasion. Kee certainly enjoyed it. And the fries.

We got inside the arena in time for the pregame introductions, which meant some pre-game streams of fire from the Thrasher heads. Kee is a huge fan, but he can do without the volume. He watches the goings on fully enthralled, but with his hands over his ears the whole time. While we stood for the national anthem, Keegan wanted to know if there was going to be more fire.

As we watched the game, I was able to explain that we wouldn't see fire unless he first heard the train horn, and I was able to get him to understand which goal counted for the train horn and fire.

Intensely watching for goals and train horns and fire!

At the end of the first period, we went for some refreshments. We secured some Sprite and some Dippin' Dots. For those of you who've never seen Dippin' Dots, they are some space-age concoction that we will no doubt learn is completely carcinogenic. For now though, they are a unique way to enjoy ice cream -- if ice cream had to be prepared in a trendy enough package to be used in the final rounds of Top Chef. We got a small bowl of half vanilla dots and rainbow sherbet dots and returned to our seats for the second period. Here's a shot of Keegan shoving a spoonful of dots into his pie hole with gusto!

I ended up finishing the dessert because early in the second period, the Thrashers scored 2 quick goals and the presence of a bowl of ice cream dots interfered with Kee's ability to cover his ears, so he abandoned the cool treat in exchange for muffled decibels.

It was a really enjoyable evening and a hint of some of the fun I've always seen in my mind's eye for K-Man and myself. I look forward to many more games to come!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 4 -- Boys Night

So K-Man and I went to Taco Mac tonight for a little dinner. We refer to it as "Boys Night." It's a fun time to get away, and Kee gets his usual -- cheese quesadilla and french fries. Typically, I ask him questions about his day, and he may or may not answer. The "discussions" never go the way I envision them going, but I keep trying. One of these days, we'll actually be able to have a conversation during one of these boys nights. It's still a great time because inevitably, he does something that makes me laugh.

The first time I laughed tonight, we'd been sitting in our booth for about 10 minutes. We were munching on some chips and salsa. Keegan looked across the room and said "there's a girl." I said "yes, that is a girl" (and I was thinking, "there are about 10 others within our line of sight too."). But it's "boys night; there're no girls tonight."

The second time I laughed was when we were taking pictures at dinner. I took a few shots of him enjoying his quesadilla. Like this one:

Then, he wanted to take another one. This time he wanted to take one "backwards." Here you go:

He loved it. And I laughed out loud!

NaBloPoMo 2010 Day 1 -- Halloween Surprise

So we woke up this morning to find a surprise on the front porch. We've all heard stories of Halloween pranks of many varieties. Egging. Toilet-papering the front yard. Smashing jack-o-lanterns. Flaming bags of poop. Fortunately, none of these were awaiting us at dawn's early light.

Instead, Jen found two small cages sitting side-by-side. Each one containing separate members of order rodentia. Yes, we'd been visited by the rodent fairy. Well, the domesticated rodent fairy -- like Glenda the Good Witch, but not without the knee-jerk thoughts of the Black Plague. We found ourselves with two mice and a rat. Thankfully, we'd watched the Pixar flick Ratatouille about 379 times, so we were able to personify the "little guy" as K-Man referred to him. Jen took them to the vet to have them checked out. One of the mice has a little skin issue and got some antibiotics (yes, they make antibiotics to nurse rodents back to health.) The other two seem to be just fine -- as fine as abandoned rodents can be I guess.

Keegan gave them all names. The mice are female and were bestowed the names Gabriella and Molly. (Gabriella is a character on "Sid the Science Kid" and Molly is from the Toy Story trilogy.) The rat is a boy, so Kee declared him "Costco." Maybe because he instinctively knows that a rat could eat through a 5-pound block of cheese or one of those Millennium Falcon-sized cheesecakes that are readily sold at the warehouse retailer.

This was destined to happen because Jen made the comment over the weekend that she didn't think we were ready to get another furry pet. She jinxed us. And K-Man has a few new pets as a result.

"Costco"

Four years ago

K-Man turned 4 on Christmas Eve. Hard to believe that he's been a part of our lives that long. This time four years ago, Jen and I were hunkered down in a hotel room with the little guy waiting for approval to return home with him. We ventured out to Babies R Us that day to register for baby things because we hadn't taken the time to do that before the adoption train got rolling. I'm sure we drew some stares as we walked around the store with the registry gun -- with baby in tow. I remember getting scolded by one lady because we dared take a baby out with the masses at such a wee age. (I was not thinking nice things about that woman that night -- or just now as I recalled that incident.) Plus, how else could we fit him for his first Gator jersey unless he was there to try it on?

The years since have raced by, and I am sure the coming ones will be gone in an instant as well. I hope to see more moments like the one the day after Christmas this year. K-Man received an electric Amtrak train set from my parents, and I set it up for him while he was taking a nap on Saturday. When he saw it set up and running, his eyes brightened and this grin came over his face like he'd swallowed green beans that tasted like Doritos. (Can you imagine the joy?) For the next hour, the train ran constantly, and every revolution around the track brought a fresh wellspring of elation. See for yourself.

Hopefully, capturing moments like these will slow the hands of time for a bit.

If you haven't read our adoption story, you can read it here: Part 1 and Part 2

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 30 -- Christmas Tree Lighting

Tonight, we went to the city's tree lighting in front of the community center and library. This is the second year of our attendance, but this was the first year that K-Man was really looking forward to it -- especially seeing Santa. Before you have a kid, you have these visions in your head of what certain events will look like when you experience them with your child. Up to now, most of our visions have been light years apart from actual events. Rarely, if ever, is Kee as excited about whatever it is as we are hoping he'll be. In fact, he's sort of conditioned us not to expect much of a reaction from him -- certainly not a sustained level of excitement. (Of course, none of this applies to anything involving trains. If it involves a train, he's as excited every time as a dog is to see its owner upon re-entering a room only seconds after leaving.)

Tonight, K-Man was anticipating the arrival of St. Nick. We had explained that he'd be coming to light the city's Christmas tree. Having been to this the year before, we knew where to stand to get a good vantage point for his arrival and the tree-lighting. Santa did not disappoint. Nor did Keegan. His eyes lit up when he caught the first glimpse of the jolly one. He yelled out "Hi, Santa!" He followed him through the crowd and as he climbed the garland-wrapped ladder preparing for the lighting. Kee counted down from 10 and oohed and ahhed when Santa signaled the lights on. He waved to Santa as he left the festivities shouting "Good-bye, Santa!" as he walked out of sight. Then he re-lived it again all the way back to the car as we walked hand in hand. It was a great opening to the holiday season.

Before Santa arrived, Kee took his picture with Frosty.

He surveyed the un-lit tree before Santa's arrival.

He leapt into Mommy's arms when she met us there.

(And was telling her all about what was coming.)

And he waved bye to Santa as he went back to the North Pole

to finish up that last batch of toys before the big day.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 27 -- Life Lesson

Our new approach to disciplining K-Man and teaching him about the realities of life.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 26 -- Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving Day is all but done. We had a good one, but a long one as usual. Made it to the gym this morning to work off 500+ calories to credit my gastronomic account for later. Made my oatmeal chocolate chips cookies as is our custom. They turned out well. (For those who care, I start with the Nestle Toll House recipe and add additional sugar, brown sugar and flour to make it a drier mix, plus the oatmeal to add a notion of healthiness.)

My youngest sister (Nicole) and her husband (Jonathan) came over to the house for dinner. Jonathan cooked the turkey at our house. Turned out very good. We made a ham because I'm not that fond of turkey. The ham was nice and will make some great sandwiches for the next several days -- maybe even a western omelet if I'm feeling particularly adventurous one morning. Nicole made her favorite side dish: green bean casserole. Jonathan also made his mom's dressing which was a solid compliment to the proteins on the table (That's how they refer to the meat selections on Top Chef. Nothing is "fish" or "pork" or "beef." They're all "proteins."). K-Man was his finicky self. He had a bite of ham, a bite of green bean casserole, a bite of dressing. He did eat a heaping portion of baked sweet potato though. With how much energy that kid uses throughout the day, it is a wonder he doesn't collapse from lack of fuel given his bird-like eating habits. Of course, he was all over the chocolate chips cookies. And they do have oatmeal in them, so he's fine.

I guess I can't write a "Thanksgiving" post without the obligatory "I'm thankfuls." So here goes.

This has been quite a year for us. There is much to be thankful for. I am thankful for:

-- My family. For Jen who has encouraged me throughout the year as we work to get the law practice off the ground. For Kee who has regularly reminded me why I want to be at home more to see him grow and develop and live his life. Our parents who have supported our decision to make more time for our family.

-- My friends. Who have listened to me for hours as I wade through the rough waters of starting a business. Who have challenged me to be a better husband, father, friend, and person, including the friends I've made in Scotland over the last two summers.

-- My Lord. This year has been one of constant reliance on my Lord. I've been given a lot of talents, but that doesn't always translate into huge success. But we've always had what we need. Not always at the time we would've preferred it, but when we had to have it. I'm thankful for the relationship that I have with Jesus because it adds a covering of peace when the winds of anxiety are blowing all around.

-- Freedom. The sacrifices made by military veterans and those in uniform today serving all over the world to defend our democracy. We can have blogs like this and write about just about anything because of the freedom those men and women fight to maintain.

-- Many otherwise mundane things. Tivo -- the ability to freeze television is nothing short of miraculous. My laptop -- the freedom to do work on my computer at a coffee shop, the lake, the library, or Scotland makes life a lot easier. 24-hour fitness centers -- the freedom to work-out at any hour -- even when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. Costco -- because it wouldn't be right not to be appreciative of a place that sells stamps, tires, baby wipes, half-gallons of salsa, and cheese cakes the size of a stop sign all under the same roof!

There are a multitude of other things -- serious and humorous -- for which I am thankful. And they all remind me that I am incapable of living this life on my own. Never stop reminding me of that.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 24 -- Almost-4-year-olds

The last few weeks have been challenging with K-Man. Whoever labeled the "Terrible Twos" was a liar. The "Threes" -- especially the last three months of the Threes -- are the terrible times. Now, not every waking minute is terrible, so put the phone down before you call the authorities.

The kid is a whirlwind of will. Every instruction. Every request. Every comment. Every demand. All are met with a retort. Nothing Aristotelian. Actually, it often is the same retort: "Why?"

And we are not above relying on the staple of parenting: "Because I said so."

The kid's not even a pre-teen, and we seem to be constantly fighting a battle of wills. The most difficult part of this is how cute Kee is. He shoots a look in between melt downs or he flashes his dimples or his million dollar smile. Hard to hold your disciplinary ground when the subject of your instruction makes you giggle. Who among you wouldn't crack up when your kid asks you to come look at his poop?

These challenging moments serve as a reminder to me that this parenting thing is a full-time gig, and it will continue to evolve -- uncovering new battles and new opportunities for instruction. The key, even now, is being consistent. I am somewhat hopeful that as Kee ages, his ability to reason will make certain aspects of this easier while at the same time giving him more ammunition with which to fight. It this were a Texas hold 'em poker match, I would say that I am "all in." When we get to the flop, the turn and the river, I'll still be at the table.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 22 -- Dinner with Friends

Jen and I have been attending a small group at church for the last couple of months. The focus of the group was parenting. All of the couples in the group have from 1 to 4 kids. A pair of seasoned couples led the group. They weren't experts per se -- and more importantly didn't profess to be experts either. They simply had a few more years than the rest of us do raising their kids -- a number of whom are married already.

It's been a great opportunity to get to know the other couples in the group better as well as gain a few new ideas on how to deal with K-Man's more challenging moments. Tonight, one of the leader couples hosted us for dinner. They lived in France for a number of years, and the evening was a typical French meal. The meal itself was great: heavy hors d'oeuves, boeuf bourguingon, salad, fromages (cheeses), and sorbet. But the best part of the evening were the many conversations around the table. Stories of how the couples met, first dates, deciding on baby names. It may seem mundane, but the shared time was food for the soul. In today's fast-paced world, we often eat as quickly as we can to get to the next thing on the schedule. It's refreshing to sit for a few hours an enjoy a meal and the company of friends.

I'm glad to have shared these last few weeks with this group and look forward to more shared time and shared meals.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 15 -- Words

We heard a good message this morning at church about the power of words. David said that the average person speaks 16,000 words each day. (Jen would argue that I might do that in a week.) Regardless, we speak a lot of words over a lifetime, and they have an impact on those who hear them. Speaking words of encouragement is not something that comes naturally to me. Having a child though magnifies the importance of developing that skill. You would think that having a wife might, but what can I say? I'm not perfect. Not by a long shot! I'm not proud of that; just being honest.

But having K-Man around really does make messages like this morning's hit me in the face. And it's not just about saying words that build him up. It's as much about avoiding words that retard his enthusiasm. I need patience to deal with his off-the-charts energy. I'm not wired that way. I'm also not 3 years old. I need to adjust my reactions to things because it's not fair to him to expect him to have that much self-control. When I examine this, I generally come back to my selfishness. I get caught up in what I want to do or not do. It doesn't apply just to Kee's demands on my time either.

David made another good point this morning about the words we say. It's not just about words we say to others. We also need to stop saying a lot of the negative things we say to ourselves about ourselves. Is there a more powerful influence on our psyche than the words we let fly in our own heads? I think not.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 7 -- 36 hours at the lake

I took K-Man with me to the lake Friday afternoon. Boys weekend. We stopped by Ingles on the way for some supplies: Kraft Mac & Cheese, hot dogs, "orange chips" (i.e., nacho cheese Doritos), Cheez-its crackers (Scrabble edition -- so we're working on the alphabet and enjoying that cheesy greatness), bananas, bagels and donuts. I also picked up a surprise for him (like the above was not awesome enough, right?)!

After we got our rations, we proceeded to the lake house and made dinner: Mac & Cheese, orange chips and half a banana. I went with a couple hot dogs, and a glass of wine. (If you're interested, I found the Bogle Merlot went well with the Hebrew National dogs.) After dinner, we played with trains, cars, and trucks, and watched a little Toy Story 2. Then off to bed. No bath. We weren't trying to impress anyone.

The morning started with some coffee -- for me, not him. He had milk. And of course, donuts. K-Man picked up where he left off the night before with the trains, cars, trucks and Toy Story 2. And he stayed in his pajamas. I asked a couple of times if he wanted to put on some clothes and go outside to play. He declined. He loves wearing his pajamas. After a few hours, he tried to convince me that he should go sans pajama bottoms, but I put my foot down. We can be total slobs on boys weekend, but we'll be wearing pants. The kid'll never find a wife if he thinks pants are optional. No need to feed that monster.

Lunch was PBJ and a banana. Then, I offered him a choice: orange chips or a surprise. The kid didn't hesitate. "Surprise" was his cry, eyes dancing. So I told him to close his eyes. He buried his face in his hands. I set up the surprise on the table in front of him and told him to open his eyes. There it was. He hesitated. Smiled. "That's Woody," he said (from Toy Story). Then, he moved Woody's head back to reveal the strawberry pellet of goodness! Oh yes, a Woody PEZ dispenser. He was familiar with PEZ before this, so it took him all of about 10 minutes to finish the sleeve of candy in Woody's ... neck, I guess. He did give me one piece.

We spent the afternoon playing cars, racing trains, tickling, wrestling, and swapping out Toy Story 2 for Ratatouille. We snacked on a few Cheez-its to tie us over until dinner along the way.

He got a bath before dinner, so he was fresh and ready for bed early. He had another bowl of mac & cheese, some orange chips and a glass of water. More trains, cars, trucks, and wrestling.

Before bed, we've been reading out of this great book that Jen found with Bible stories. The first one is about "little" Zaccheus. We've read it so much, Kee knows the story by heart. I asked him to read it to me. There is nothing cuter than a 3-year-old reading a Bible story -- with enthusiasm. It is also a little spooky to watch him do it, because he says the exact words on the right pages, turning page after page as he goes. He does the same thing with his Curious George book too.

It's been a good weekend together. We've just hung out and done nothing, but we've done a lot too. Hopefully, it's a small deposit in a lifelong account that will return with interest!

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 4 - Deep Water

In mid-July, I helped co-lead a mission trip to Scotland with our church. This was a return trip for me, but a new leadership role. Even with the added responsibilities, it was a great trip made better because Jen came with us this year. I enjoyed introducing her to my Scottish friends and vice versa, and now they are her friends as well.

I had several questions from people about why there might be a need for a mission trip to Scotland. Many hear "mission trip" and associate that with third-world countries where clean water is a luxury or in remote areas where the Christian faith is a stranger. There are plenty of mission trips to those areas. Our trips to Scotland involve providing a summer camp for middle- and high-school-age students where we try to create an atmosphere where they can learn what the Lord thinks about them and the plans He has for their lives; an atmosphere where they can ask questions; an atmosphere where they can unashamedly worship; an atmosphere where their concerns about their level of acceptance at school or at home doesn't determine anything about their standing in life. We partner with a small church outside Glasgow that has a huge heart for the students in the area and across the country but doesn't have a budget to match.

The church in Cobb County that sends us to Scotland has a summer camp each year for hundreds of our students and their friends. That camp has been going on for over 30 years. We attempt to capture the spirit of that camp and pack it up in Rubbermaid bins and fly it over the Atlantic with us. We spent the better part of 6 months meeting and planning and praying for our 11-day trip this year. The Scotland camp included about 35 Scottish students this year. Our theme was Deep Water, and we wanted to challenge the students to go deeper in their faith; to trust the Lord more deeply; to get to know Him in a deeper way.

This was the third year of the camp -- although just my second year on the trip. Some of the students have been to all 3 camps, and there were several new students who came this year because of the changes they observed in their friends who had come the year before.

We had a team of about 22 people this year -- about half of which were high school students from our church's youth group. One of the highlights for me each year has been watching our high school students model their relationships with the Lord for the Scottish students. Any number of the adults on the team can talk to the students about ways to deepen their relationships with the Lord, but when it comes from a peer, it's just different. I love watching that happen.

As a co-leader this year, I spoke during the morning sessions Monday to Thursday. I am not a preacher, but I felt like there was something that the Lord wanted me to share with the students each day. Months before we left, I had thought I would be sharing a certain group of talks, but as the trip approached, I kept feeling that there were some other things that the Lord wanted me to share. When we left for Scotland, I had 1 talk and 2 outlines for 4 messages (that doesn't add up for those of you reaching for your abacus). That meant for some long nights of writing and very short nights of sleep. But, in the end, I think the talks went well.

Before we left in July, we had already decided on the dates for the 2010 camp, and within a week of our return, the camp had been booked for our trip for next year. I am looking forward to going back, although I'm not sure if Jen will join us again. The 11-day separation from K-Man was quite a lot to ask of her. As much as we would love to bring him over with us (and our Scottish friends have encouraged us to do just that), the pace of camp just doesn't mesh well with a then-four-year-old (regardless of how cute he is).

As we did last year, at the end of camp, we tried to capture camp in video form. The highlight reel is provided below. The four student testimonies at the end are worth listening too. There are some accents to cope with, but I encourage you to try and hear what they have to say.

NaBloPoMo 2009 Day 3 -- Nearing the end

So I played some softball tonight. We've played in the fall and the spring for several years now (except for the one season the manager forgot to send in the registration on time). I enjoy playing. We're in the playoffs. Usually, we'd be done by now, but the weather has not cooperated on a number of Tuesday nights this fall. We won the first game tonight and lost the second. The second time in the double-elimination playoffs that we've had to do this. I've learned something over the course of the 2 doubleheaders this season. I am really getting old. Not only does my body not want to play two games in one night, but it makes me pay the next two days following. So I am not looking forward to the pain I will be in tomorrow and Thursday (over-the-counter pain relievers only go so far!).

Not only was tonight the last softball game of the season, but it was also the last one I'll play in my 30s. By the time the spring season rolls around, I will have crossed that threshold of the big 4-0. "They" say that 40 is the new 30. But I remember when I was 30. I was still playing 90-minute soccer matches then. These softball games last an hour, and one hour leads to a day-and-a-half recovery that I never had at 30 after soccer. So "they" are liars!

I don't have any real issues with the prospect of turning 40. I know my body has issues with it, but my mind likes to think that I am still 18 at times. (I'm not proud of that necessarily, but at least something in me is trying to defy the passage of time.)

At 40, I'll have a 4-year-old. When my Dad was 40, I was graduating from high school. I think that is just the era we live in. I know so many parents who are older. In fact, I went to K-Man's fall party last week at school, and the majority of the parents in the room would remember the 70s and 80s from personal experience, not from the History Channel or some decades music special on VH1. (In fact, they know that the "VH" in VH1 stands for "Video Hits" and that the channel once played videos 24-7.) Many times at Kee's activities, I am more surprised when the parents are in their 20s. All that to say that I think K-Man is helping keep us young. Even when my body may want to rebel, I can push through it to watch him enjoy himself with some activity.

So I may be nearing the end of my 30s, but I ain't dead yet!